[nurse_reedle]

how does it work with newborn adoptions? Is their chosen name put on the original BC or does the birthmother name them and we change/add to it? How does that work? Is it different in different situations?

Also, do we get to choose to have our son NOT circumcised if we get a boy? Or if the birth mother wants it done and we don't....do they do it anyway before the placement? Do we have any say in that?

Thanks....just questions I was thinking about a little bit ago.

RiAnnon

[kakuehl]

Hi, I could give you answers but they would be 36 years out of date! Many thinks have changed since I placed D for adoption in 1972!

[Shadowfaerie]

Originally Posted by nurse_reedle

how does it work with newborn adoptions? Is their chosen name put on the original BC or does the birthmother name them and we change/add to it? How does that work? Is it different in different situations?

Also, do we get to choose to have our son NOT circumcised if we get a boy? Or if the birth mother wants it done and we don't....do they do it anyway before the placement? Do we have any say in that?

Thanks....just questions I was thinking about a little bit ago.

RiAnnon

Our adoption is semi-open and whether or not to have our son circumcised was her decision. It worked out for us because I would've preferred he wasn't circumcised and my dh wanted him to be so we figured it was best left in her hands regardless.

I couldn't tell you how the BC will look when you receive it... because we STILL do not have one, nearly 2 YEARS later

All the best to you of course~

[startedover]

depends on the time frame she has to change her mind. She makes any decision she wants until TPR. But I would assume if she has picked you she knows you will be making EVERY decision for the next 18 years and will want you to make that one.

[Amaurosis]

BC: The biological mother can put anything she wants for the child's name on the birth certificate (in most states). So it could be her chosen first name with her or the bfather's last name, your chosen first name with your last name, or any combination thereof. Or Princess FiFi Poopypants if that's what she wants. It's her choice, although she may talk with you about it. You can then put your chosen name on the adoption birth certificate later.

Circumcision: If the biomom gets the circumcision performed before TPR, then yes, she has every right to do so. If she doesn't, then she doesn't have any standing to compel you to do so at a later date.

[lovemy2boys]

Originally Posted by Amaurosis

Or Princess FiFi Poopypants if that's what she wants.

That's the name we chose for a girl, but alas we had 2 boys...sigh...

Seriously though...We discussed names in advance with the boys' firstmoms...

D used the name she chose...C used the name we agreed upon together, but her last name. We did the name changes the first time we went to court.

As for the circumcision, if it's important to you that your child NOT be circumcised, that's something you may want to discuss with the expectant mom in advance...but ultimately, it is her decision...

[melissa_bear003]

As I understand it, until TPR is completed, she is the mom, period...and therefore has every right to name and circumcise/not circumcise her child as she deems fit.

Definately something to discuss with an emom that may be considering you for a match.

[shy_bear]

Our girls were adopted through domestic infant programs. With our first we all decided together on a name for the baby, so the name on the bc was the first and middle name we all chose plus the birthmom's last name. At finalization we obviously changed the last name. For our 2nd daughter we chose her name and bmom used her last name as well on the orginal bc. Our son was adopted through foster care. He was just about 24 hrs old when we picked him up, bmom had decided to have him circumsized so we had no say in it at all.

[Fran27]

Regarding circumcision, I think it's very important to talk about it early during a match, if you have the opportunity. It's definitely their choice, but if you're not comfortable with the decision, or the fact that she won't listen to your opinion on the matter, it might not be the match for you... I know I'd have a hard time with someone trusting me to raise their child but not taking into account my opinion on the subject.

For us the hospital asked us to make the decision, but it's a pretty closed adoption and I'm not even sure the birthparents saw the babies after birth.

[finallyamom0310]

Some of the best advice I have gotten here, when in doubt call the ped on call. It will help you to relax.

I know you said you were waiting till monday but our ped office has a doctor on call on the weekends and see emergency patients on the weekends. Hopefully you can call earlier than monday

[AdoptInMe]

We are doing an agency adoption in FL, but I know rules are different everywhere. Because it was an agency adoption, the hospital would not circumcise our ds, mostly because everything was in transition. Even though all of us wanted him circumcised, they would not do it. They said to request that our ped. refer us to have it done at a urologist.

In most cases, the birthmom can name the child whatever she wants and put it on the birth certificate. Then we change it when we get our own birth certificate. My dd and ds's birthmom named each child with the first and middle names we gave them, and her last name. We then change the last name on our own.

[nurse_reedle]

I am not concerned at all about how the naming is done...just wandered what experiences have been.

Circing...that is a whole other matter. I plan to discuss it early.

[humanpitchpipe]

I do not want to start a circumcision discussion, but since I adopted DS internationally he was not circumcised when he came home. It was something that we had done after he had been home for almost a year. And the surgery went fine. He was running around that afternoon.

[Tigger2]

I think each case is different. DS' birthmom wanted him circumcized, however she was with a state healthplan and they would not authorize a circumcision. We had to wait until we saw our ped. when DS was a week old.

As for the BC- the original has the name the birthparents chose and of course their last name. We changed the first and last name at finalization. We are still waiting for the new BC- our lawyer said it can take up to 5 months in our state.

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by melissa_bear003

As I understand it, until TPR is completed, she is the mom, period...and therefore has every right to name and circumcise/not circumcise her child as she deems fit.

Definately something to discuss with an emom that may be considering you for a match.

I wanted to echo what melissa said. When the baby is born, she isn't a birth mom, she is simply mom.

We discussed names with Cameron's birth mom before he was born, at her request. She liked what we'd chosen. On his OBC, it says Cameron, and then his birth mom's last name. That was changed at finalization. She let us decide on circumcision (we opted not to).

Like everyone has said, just make sure you discuss things prior to birth with whatever expectant mom you match with. It is her decision though.