[Happywife]

I have a burning question, and I just can't find the answer anywhere. I don't have a specific person's situation in mind at all. It really is just something I have been thinking about this week. I hope you all don't think I'm a bumbling idiot after reading my question!!

Okay, let's say a prospective birthmom signs the TPR. The newborn baby goes home with the adoptive family. There can be considerable time before finalization, right? Like six months?

Here's my question (okay, I guess there are 2!). . . Can the birthmom change her mom between TPR and finalization? Can an adoptive family have an infant for nearly 6 months, only to "lose" the baby to the birthmom?

[jp4ga]

Not a stupid question. I am in a similar situation. Bmom signed her rights away. We left the state and went home, a few days later we got a letter that she wanted the baby back, had to go to court but not until 3 months later. Judge denied her petition, TPR was to be ordered she appealed, finally in October, 5 months after placement the appeal was heard. She was denied again- TPR was finally signed. Now we are told she is fighting it again, but the judge has denied her without setting a court date. We are scheduled to finalize in Jan. But she is still seeking to have another day in court.

It happens, but not often. Most of the time it turns out to be a big pain in the butt. The kicker is that in most states the PAPS have to pay for the bmoms attorney.

[Stormster]

In our situation (which may vary from state to state) we would not have been forced to return the baby between TPR and Finalization UNLESS Fraud or Duress were proven in court.

[BrandyHagz]

There are two schools of practice with regards to Termination of Parental Rights.

1. There is a set 'revocation period' in which the parents can come back and revoke their termination.

2. There is no 'revocation period' and once the paper is signed, it’s done - no going back.

In both, 1 and 2 - the only way the TPR can be overturned once the revocation period has passed (in the case of instance 1) and the child returned to the birth parents, is if they can prove, in a court of law, that they were coerced or forced to sign.

This 'worst case scenario' of returning the child six months later is the exception, not the rule - however, because it's so 'dramatic' it often gets LOTS of press and/or LOTS of plotlines in movies. This is the ‘story’ that sticks in the mind of John Q. Public (or your Mother-in-Law’s cousin’s best friends aunt’s sister who had it happen to her)

I am not saying it doesn't happen - because it does - there are legitimate instances in which birth parents do revoke within the time frame allowed and/or go to court and prove duress - as is their legal right.

This is why it is imperative for adoptive parents to use adoption practitioners who are above board and adhere to a high moral code.

[Happywife]

Thanks, everyone, for the very quick replies. It wasn't a fear of mine - just something I didn't know the answer to. I'm a control freak and I love knowing as much as I can! Yes, I do realize that'll drive me crazy when we begin this adoption journey! LOL

That being said, it is crucial to us to choose a responsible, ethical agency. We are visiting two agencies this Friday, and if we notice even a glimpse of a red flag, we're going to keep hunting.

Oh - and thanks for not making me feel stupid!!

[Wisdom]

Originally Posted by Happywife

That being said, it is crucial to us to choose a responsible, ethical agency.

...and one that is exceptionally knowledgeable about adoption laws. Ask them all questions and concerns you have and go with your gut. Good luck!

[Fran27]

Basically, it depends on the state the birthmother signs the TPR in.

[loveajax]

also remember technically the agency has ''custody'' until finalization (even if the b parents didn't try to revoke)...not to scare you!!! just something I didn't really ''understand.'' good luck!

[ChromaKelly]

Right, so technically, you could lose custody during that period if you were found not to be caring for the baby. Then the baby would go to the agency.

[Beautyqueen616]

Not in Indiana. KiKi was almost 11 months before we finalized. In Indiana as soon as the papers are signed it's done. The bio parents would have to get attorneys and go to court and prove they would be better parents then you (because they picked you for a reason right) or that they were under duress or were conned.

[mondk]

We adopted in FL and I was a witness to the signed TPR documents and once signed, it was as good as finalized. Only if she could prove duress or coercion or fraud could she have gotten the baby back. I do have to say, it was one of the most emotional things I have ever been a part of. Our bmom was crying, another witness there was crying, and I ended up bawling my eyes out too. It was like, happy vs. sad. I was really happy for us, but very very sad for her, does that make sense?

Blessings, Michelle