[Stormster]

Another thread got me thinking....if a child joins a family through adoption isn't he or she as much a part of that family tree as a child born to that family?

I suppose if the tree was done for scientific genealogy purposes it might be different but for childhood projects wouldn't E just use our family tree?

I'm all for honoring his biological heritage but shouldn't we just keep it simple for young kids? I'm talking preK through Junior high for instance.

[RavenSong]

Hey, Stormster! Of course, E is part of your family tree. And I think you should just keep it simple while he's a child. If and when he becomes interested in genealogy when he's older, you'll be in a good position to research his biological roots, since you have an open adoption.

Genealogy is my passion in life...my major hobby outside of this forum, lol. What I've done with my own son's family tree is to join our families. Although the earlier genealogy software programs didn't allow you to assign two sets of parents to a child, this has changed in the past couple years. I use Roots Magic for my son's family tree. What I've done is research his parents' ancestral lines, assigned both sets of parents, birth and adoptive, to my son, and the result is he can view an enormous tree, lol. It's pretty cool.

I do a lot of pro bono research for adoptees, usually focusing on their birthparents' lines. But the last couple adoptees I've helped, I've researched their adoptive parents' families too.

E is still so young that I think it's probably best to keep things simple for right now. If you ever want some help with your genealogy research, just give me a holler. I'd love to help you out!

[jules17]

Storm, it got me thinking too!

Thinking as in, "Well, of course their family trees would be our family tree - they are our sons!"

And, of course, the genealogy could/would come later...

But for purposes of school and the like, I can't imagine doing separate family trees for them.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Adopted/placed children are a part of both as long as the parents in both families treat the child as such.

[SamIAm2]

There is a really sweet episode about family trees in one of the Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends shows....it's called Family Tree and is from the second season.

[belleinblue1978]

I've always seen myself as part of my adoptive family's tree exclusively. I'm sure if anyone has done the research in my first family I'm not even included because not everyone knows about me.

My heritage is my mom and dad's heritage. Plain and simple. Same for my son, his heritage is his mom and dad's heritage. If he wants to know about mine, cool, if he doesn't, I'm good with that too.

[sissyminsky]

We did family trees last year in my class as a part of a larger study. There were two children who were adopted- we talked about how you could do different kinds of "trees" to reflect your heritage- showing your roots might be showing a flag or pattern for birth-culture or mapping out your birth-family. There are also models that look more like circles or suns for younger ones, looking at important people in the child's life. To be honest, it was rather interesting for most of the kids and there were many complicated relationships in all of the families that proved interesting to document (particularly due to divorce and blending families). What I saw in their final projects was that they mostly included the people they knew and had contact with. These kids were 5th and 6th graders.

[finallyamom0310]

Storm, I have thought about this a lot too and plan on letting DD choose what she wants to do when she is older. However, my opinion is that she has two trees.

[OakShannon]

This is a common elementary school assignment that some people have come to dislike. The concern with family tree assignments has been that some teachers may only present a traditional way of creating them, without considering that some children may not feel comfortable or able to complete that assignment and may feel set apart for that reason. A good teacher will present - in a positive and matter-of-fact way without singling out any child - that there are ways to create a family tree to reflect step-parent/sibling relationships, members of the birth family (if a child in an OA wishes) or may just have one parent (if a child has a parent who is unknown or uninvolved). This is an issue that comes up because MANY children are now being raised in nontraditional families for one reason or another and some teachers are better/more sensitive in the way they deal with that than others. Mother's Day/Father's Day, and parent/child events (Such as Father/Daughter dances, etc.) are other things that can be handled either poorly or well and can make children feel singled out or hurt if a teacher chooses to ignore the particulars of a child's family make-up.

[binkybear]

I haven't seen the other thread, but this was touched on in a class we took. I was surprised when one girl said she asked her young son "what tree do you want to do"..to me that's putting a lot on a little kid, kinda like the whole pick one idea. To me it just isn't necessary to go there with a little one. I mean to me, trees are spliced all the time to make new trees so I would just start with "our tree" knowing that trees have branches and we can make our own tree with as many branches or roots as we like

[crick]

I added my kids to the family tree and personally don't believe that the only aspect of a family tree is to document genealogy. It's the family history too. If it were only about genealogy, then we would not include spouses that marry into a family. (not everyone has kids or maybe it's a 3rd marriage etc.)

As for the school project trees, we just asked that the "Send in baby picture along with your tree" be changed to "Send in your favorite picture of yourself" so that my kids wouldn't be singled out for not having baby pics.

When the geanology stuff does happen in school for us, I am not sure what we'll do then. Not going to worry about it though.

[Jo Ellen]

Of course any adopted child is as much a part of the adoptive family as those that are bilogical however I do think it is important to consider the child being allowed to share what they know of their natural heritage. As an adoptee it was difficult for me to write an autobiography in jr. high using only my adoptive families information but because I knew nothing about my natural heritage at that time and feared hurting my adoptive parents I did the paper without mentioning my adoption. I have taught school many years and have feared adoptive children feeling pressure about this situation but soon realized what they want to share is up to them but am so happy when they can feel safe sharing about all their heritage.

[Leigh131313]

My son is a part of my family tree. We are his family - no different than DH if you ask me. His birthfamily is not a part of that. If he gets into the whole geneology stuff some day fine - but for now, nope.

[feelingreyt]

Originally Posted by belleinblue1978

I've always seen myself as part of my adoptive family's tree exclusively. I'm sure if anyone has done the research in my first family I'm not even included because not everyone knows about me.

My heritage is my mom and dad's heritage. Plain and simple. Same for my son, his heritage is his mom and dad's heritage. If he wants to know about mine, cool, if he doesn't, I'm good with that too.

I admire you so much. Your acceptance of your adoption and the adoption of your child is something I can definately learn from. You seem like such an amazing person!

[aclee]

Originally Posted by SamIAm2

There is a really sweet episode about family trees in one of the Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends shows....it's called Family Tree and is from the second season.

HUGE Miss Spider fan. I think all kids should watch it, but especially adopted children. I'm going to collect the DVD's just in case it's not still on when Ty is old enough to watch TV.