[oceanica]

oops that was before we took her home!

[live4rachael]

Wow, I love reading these. Every story is so different.

DH and I got married in Sep 2000. We waited a while before TTC, enjoying the company and getitng our lives "straight" so to speak. DH and I TTC'd for a year before getting pregnant with Rachael. A perfect pregnancy, the easiest L&D possible, an angelic newborn... until the diagnosis of Spinal Muscular Atrophy and watching our beautiful daughter eventually pass away in my arms just short of 8 months of age. SMA is a genetic neuromuscular condition and one that we had a 25% chance of having another child have. Immediately we agreed to never take that risk and he had the big "v". We knew we wanted to raise more children so adoption was the next idea, though neither of us knew much about it. We went to talk to a social worker who was also connected to an agency to learn how the process worked - but also told her it would be a while before she heard from us as we needed time to grieve.

Fast forward 17 months later. It was DH's birthday. I got a phone call from a previous co-worker (the future birthgrandmother) who remembered our story. She said the birthmom-to-be was 6 months pregnant and did not feel ready to raise a child. Their family had kept one of DH's letters after we had lost Rachael, and some of his words had stuck with the birthmom... that her angel day was to be a day of rejoicing and not sadness, even though we were very pained, that we should focus on what we learned from her in her short time, among other things. It had struck a chord with her because she had recently lost a young family member as well. Add to all of this that we are all practicing Catholics which she valued very much.

After calling our parents and catching our breath, we called a friend of ours who's a lawyer, and we called the social worker. Home study and all that jazz... I got home from work and the phone rang, she was just admitted to the hospital. We packed the car quickly and drove all through the night. 12 hours later and we had just missed the birth. But we were able to see the nurses hand Bella to her birthmom, who then handed her to me and said "Go see your mommy".

The hospital was phenomenal, we had a room of our own across the hall. We spent 16 days waiting for ICPC clearance. She showed us her town, we went on walks together, and ate several meals together. We really got to know her and it was really hard to say goodbye once we got the ICPC clearance.

We went in not knowing the term "open adoption" but certainly learned it along the way. It's wonderful and we are so blessed. Since we don't live nearby we've only been able to meet up twice so far (and will again for Thanksgiving in two weeks), but we stay in contact via email all the time, and sometimes by phone.

God works in mysterious ways. We still miss our Rachael and will always have a little hole in our hearts. But Bella is an INCREDIBLE joy and we never imagined it could be THIS GOOD. We are beyond blessed and we remind ourselves of that every day when we see her smile.

[mama_again]

Ours is unique and I will share a bit! Words cannot express the joy and love that overflows from our hearts each day as we think of our stories with our precious darling baby in our lives... The first call came with the wonder if we would still want to consider having her in our life forever, all the while praying for her bmom and the possibility of us being forever parents. Unsure if what we were to do, just praying and waiting. I remember getting the call at work and walking down the halls crying, shaking and really in awe of that moment. The most important part of our lives was about to unfold...
We were willing to do whatever plan the Lord had for us... All the while praying for the bmom, not realizing that we would say yes, if we were chosen for something so absolutely wonderful!!!
Just a matter of faith walking at that time...
Then a second came about what name we wanted to choose and that confirmed what was about to happen... It was so surreal... so beautiful!!!
Each day is a new adventure, our hearts and lives are so united and intertwined, only something that the Lord can do... Before I was a mom, I never tripped over toys, forgot words to a lullaby. I never thought about immunizations, nor did I think about not having complete control of my sleep, but would not change it for anything.
I never thought that I could love someone so deeply and so tenderly!
I never thought that something so tiny could affect my life so much!
I didn't know that this bond could be so wonderful yet so very important!
We are foverer thankful we said yes, when in others questioned 'why', we knew without a shadow of doubt, there was something very beautiful about to change our world. And yes, as empty nester's it did, man are we forever grateful that we said yes to the most selfless call and sacrificial love that can come from the heart of a first mom. I will always have a huge piece of love and thankfulness in my heart to her for giving us our precious dear heart...

Our precious one captures our hearts each day as it unfolds, surely we are blessed beyond measure!

[devildogwife]

DH and I were married young. Within 3 months of marriage, we'd moved cross-country, gotten pregnant and miscarried, and got the news that DH would be deploying the next fall. After my first mc, I grieved deeply. I had no idea until then that a person could feel so much sorrow. I no longer wanted to become pregnant and give birth and went right to adoption. DH wasn't quite there yet. After my 2nd pregnancy and mc, he was. Unfortunately, he was about to get on a boat headed for the middle east.

We save like crazy during his deployment, and actually switched from Vietnam to domestic while he was gone. I scanned and emailed our contracts to him in Iraq. We were scammed (emotionally) once while he was gone. After her returned and we did our HS, we were amost chosen 7 or 8 times. I stalked forums that has available situations, and came across Cameron's birth mom's situaton. I could not believe what I was reading~she was from a tribe in our home state that I had worked with for 10 years. I never thought it was possible to adopt a native American baby. We called our facilitator and she overnighted our profile. Withing 24 hours, Cameron's birth mom had chosen us and we were speaking on the phone.

She wanted to meet us in person, so we flew home over a holiday. It went very well. Two months later we flew back and took her to the hospital. Cameron entered the world at 1332 on the Marine Corps birthday and forever changed our lives. We have him 2 middle names of two Marines, and in retrospect are glad we gave him such strong names to live up to.

live4rachael-thanks for sharing. Your story about had me in tears.

[live4rachael]

DDW- thanks. I love telling our story.

[OakShannon]

These stories are wonderful.

My partner and I got together when I was a 24 year old college student. I told her I thought I wanted children someday. She didn't. I finished college. Went to graduate school. Started my career. She changed careers. We bought a home. We had a good life. We were happy. We still talked about children, but I wasn't sure anymore. During one of our talks she said, "It wouldn't be my choice. But I know some people really need to be parents. If that is the way you feel, I will do it with you." And more time went by.

We were together 10 years. Then one day, while driving to a family party, I told her that I really felt that I needed to be a mother. Would she still do that with me? She took a really deep breath and said okay.

We briefly tried to have a biological child, but we both felt funny choosing our child's father from a donor catalog. So after just a couple of months we switched to fost-adopt. Our homestudy wasn't even officially approved when we got our first call. There was a newborn boy who needed to be picked up from the hospital. Elizabeth frantically shopped for diapers and a few clothes while I waited for the call telling us where he was. An hour later they said his mother had requested another foster mother who had cared for her older children. So we went back to waiting.

Two months later we were called about a 2-year-old boy with special needs. He was beautiful. I will never forget seeing Elizabeth crawling on the floor playing ball with him or having him grab a Christmas book and flop in my lap saying, "book!" But he wasn't meant to be our son either.

Another month went by and we were called about a 4-year-old boy who had been in foster care since birth and needed an adoptive home. But then another caseworker decided to give his mom one more chance at reunification, so they decided not to move him after all.

By this time, I was really depressed - half convinced that it would never happen. Then, one day I was driving home from work and our caseworker called. There was a healthy 3-month-old baby boy in a county 3 hours away. He had been in care since birth and the goal was adoption. Were we interested? I didn't even give her a chance to finish speaking before I shouted, "YES!" I forgot to even ask his name.

Less than 2 weeks later, we brought him home. And he's still here. We will finalize in January. Just yesterday, Elizabeth was playing with him before bedtime and he was bouncing in her arms squealing. She hugged him tight and got tears in her eyes and said, "I just love him so much."

Now we're talking about trying for another one.