[kittymom]

For four years I've had a blog about our home renovation and life, and until yesterday I had never once had a troll.

Since we decided to adopt a few months ago, I've been posting about our decision and about our preparations for the home study and a baby. So the other day, I posted a detailed post about how I'd made really good progress organizing our master bedroom, which is the most cluttered room in the house. I gave away two more pairs of shoes (trying to narrow down the collection), organized my hosiery drawer, etc.

A woman who'd never commented before commented the following:

"You need to grow up! From what I have read on your blog, you are a spoiled brat who is unfit to raise a child! You are so worried about your precious clothes and shoes. Do you really think a baby cares about where you need to put your crap? You are going to learn quickly that it won't be about you anymore once a child comes into your life. That is if God even lets you be so lucky!"

This person has obviously missed the point entirely that the decluttering and organizing and giving away I'm doing now is directly because of our future child - to make room for them and to make a simpler life in preparation for the complications (good ones!) a child brings.

And how does my interest in clothes have anything to do with whether I'm "fit" to raise a child? We don't have any children yet, and we both have good jobs - there's nothing wrong with spending money on ourselves! And even after we have children, that doesn't mean we have to live likes monks!

And, most hilarious-yet-infuriating to me - is she implying that God might not let me have a baby because I like shoes?

I didn't want to get into it with this commenter - not worth it - but my sister posted a response defending me, and then the commenter came back again today and left another comment, this one even meaner (and even less relevant) than the first, accusing me of not keeping a clean house, making my husband wait on me (huh?), and concluding by calling me a moron!

After some thought, I decided to delete the second comment. This person is obviously getting a thrill out of being able to spout her opinions in a "safe" manner - on the Internet, where no one can see her.

But now I need to vent because it makes me furious that now that I'm going to adopt a child, this woman thinks she has the right to criticize me. She doesn't agree with how I live my life, and because parenting is going to be involved, she feels a "duty" to point out all my flaws to me.

I've been reading adoption and infertility blogs for years, and it seems they all run into trolls at least once in their blogging careers. That's usually what leads to people closing up shop on their blogs or turning them private. It's just not worth it to put yourself out there for judgemental jerks to insult you.

Why do women feel the need to judge each other so harshly, especially when it comes to parenting? Even in real life, women gossip about whose house is clean, who's breastfeeding and who's not, why so-and-so's choice for this-or-that is wrong or stupid. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh! Why can't people just do what they want to do and let other people be?

[Fran27]

That stinks. Makes you wonder why she reads your blog in the first place if you're such a awful person. One answer for you - jealousy!

Is there a way to change your settings so that you have to approve the comments before they get posted? It's what I did on mine.

[JenC]

you may be able to ban her IP address too!

[txwannabemom]

How mean! I agree- this person is jealous. Of course re-organizing your home is a needed aspect for getting ready for a baby. And further more- baby may not care what you look like in your ckothes, but I bet when baby is a pre-teen they will. Of course you should be able to have nice things. I'm sorry that happened to you. >

[joskids]

Awww, honey, dontcha know there's always going to be some idiot who has an opinion about YOUR life when theirs is in disarray? I respect that you didn't fire back. It's not worth your time. Concentrate on all the good things you have in your life and how it's about to get a whole lot better.

Although, I do wish I had time to organize my drawers. I've got 8 kids!!!

[mommamarci]

I have a blog as well. It is set to private for just this reason. I had a couple comments completely attack me and my family. The person even went so far as to say my child was ugly! For me, the blog was to keep in touch with family and friends so I changed the settings. Do I make a huge difference in the world with my blog? No. But all my family and friends know what is going on in our lives and that is all that matters to me.

[loveajax]

trolls stink (i'd like to use a stronger word!!). good luck in your adoption plans!

[JustPeachy]

There are clearly a lot of goofballs on the net, and this women sounds like a real piece of work! I would ignore, ignore, ignore, and don't feed the troll. She sounds absolutely insane to make those comments. I would delete her posts and not give her another moments' thought. A person like that is not worth it. She's a total stranger who has some sort of weird chip on her shoulder. Her comments are not even worth responding to.

[cetalley]

Whatever! You can not be resposible for everyones opinion into your life. I agree, I am happy you did not lowere your moral values by replying, IT is not worth your energy,...not when you are cleaning your drawers! Joskids....who needs clean drawers with 8 kids around, you are always gonna have messy drawers! ROFL!!!!!

[Sohmakun]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Is there a way to change your settings so that you have to approve the comments before they get posted? It's what I did on mine.

This is what I have on my blog too. I have gotten some very nasty anti-Christianity/homophobic/racist comments on my blog (in fact, I had just gotten another anti-Christian comment earlier today). I also have ZERO tolerance for profanity on my blog too.

Please girls, if you never remember anything else I post, DO NOT be afraid of the "delete" button on those blogs.

[Shadowfaerie]

Originally Posted by kittymom

And, most hilarious-yet-infuriating to me - is she implying that God might not let me have a baby because I like shoes?

LOL!! Just try to keep that one in mind. This is someone who needs attention, and wants you riled up enough to have a conversation with him/her. I agree with what another poster said, don't "feed her", just ignore and try to laugh it off.

Try to keep in mind that it's really not about how terrible a person you are, you shoe-monger you, but how much this other insulting individual wants to have your attention.

[Stormster]

she sounds like a nut case!

[Leigh131313]

Oh yes. I totally agree with this troll....It says right in the bible

11th commandment - tho shalt not hath too many shoeths.

[wellnow]

with everyone else...there will always be someone who is just jealous or angry that their own lives are not in order and will try to steal your JOY...

They are not worth your time nor energy!!!! Good job on not lowering yourself to that level....

[joskids]

LEIGH -- HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! Yes, I think I saw that bible passage too.