[BlessedbySnuggs]

Okay, I kind of stole this idea from the Foster Care board, but thought it would work really well over here too.

It got me thinking...."Why did our DD's birth mom pick my husband and me to be M's parents?"

So, I started thinking and I truly believe that she liked us because we were young (she said she wanted young parents for M, someone to be around for a long time, hopefully anyway) and she loved that we had two dogs. She was raised around pets and wanted M raised with pets too.

It was very important for her that we didn't have any children; she wanted a couple that had been trying for a long time to have a family!

Anyway, I thought it would be fun/interesting to hear your stories and why your children's birth parents picked you over everybody else.

We always say (M's birth mom included) that we were meant to cross paths and meant to be her parents. I couldn't agree with that more!

[sheababy]

Bmom was blond hair blue eyed, bfather unknown. The baby was born with dark hair and brown eyes. She told us she chose us because the baby looked like me.

[kelceesmom]

Our bparents chose us mainly because I work for a vet and her mom is a vet. She thought that was cool.

[megaphonemo]

No idea for DD#1.
For the disruption, bmom told SW we looked like "we were fun."
For DD#2, this one I love, bmom said I in particular, "did not look like the type of person that would ever take S**T from anyone, and that I would always step up and defend and protect my kids." This was from our video - which I HATED, I mean, really hated. It is totally true though, I am a born defender!! Also, I look a lot like her - same skin tone and hair color. Also, DD#2 is mixed race, and so is DD#1. So DD#2's bparents liked that #2 had a sister of similar makeup. Sooooo, lots of reasons, I guess!!

I love seeing why others were chosen. It always helped me to understand why another family was chosen over me - I usually just could not offer what they could (like a brunette could not offer DD#2's bmom what I could - strawberry blonde hair!!).

Mega

[Mom2Max]

Ava's birthmom told us that she just "knew" when she saw our picture. She had been in contact with a couple of other families trying to decide, but then when she saw us she said she knew that we were the right family. Then as she got to know us she said it was lots of little things that we had in common and that we got along so well right from the start.

[lovemy2boys]

Well, AJ's firstfather requested that he be placed in a practicing Catholic home...AJ's firstmom was looking for someone who wanted to be a SAHM...What set us apart from the rest is that DH loves baseball, as does AJ's firstmom, we had a dog, and I love reading and have a strong connection to my Polish heritage.

With JD's firstfamily, they were looking for a couple who already had a son...they knew they were having a boy and wanted him to have an older brother. What set us apart was that DH loved hockey, and I loved old movies, photography and had a strong Catholic faith.

[ml2waiting]

On a failed referral DH and I were picked in part because of the state we live in and because we were Green Bay Packer fans... also because we were young/active...

Birthmother for our DD did not choose a specific family for her baby (8 weeks premature), she left it up to the agency... The agency chose us because of our failed referral though them at basically the same time...

She is an amazing little girl... strange how things work out in the end!

[Tigger2]

We were chosen because we lived in the country and had animals. At our first meeting, their clinician asked if we had animals. Before DH or I could respond, BMom said, "Yes, they have cows!" She then shared that we had horses, chickens and dogs. This whole piece was kind of funny because in their profile they wanted someone that lived near them in the city. We actually live on the other side of the state.

They also liked the fact that I had raised two sons (previous marriage). Through our profile book they could tell that my sons were involved in athletics and skied. This was important to the BDad.

Our match came out of the blue, due to a mix-up with their clinician. Bools are only supposed to be shown to one EMom at a time- Ours was already out with another Emom. They inadverently sent another copy out to DS Bparents and they chose us. We truly believe that DS was meant to be ours and that there was a reason for the "accident" with the books.

[loveajax]

My daughter's birth parents only saw three profiles (I believe so few because DD is biracial). One was a homosexual male couple and DD's birth mom said she liked them, but when she knew she was having a girl, decided she wanted a "mother' to do DD's hair (little does she know DH does it every day...I call him Vidal Sasson!). The second couple had adopted internationally and for some reason that did not "appeal" to DD's birth parents. So I guess it was process of elimination! haha. But she also said that when she saw our profile, she "knew" that we were the right ones. It was also important to DD's birth mom that we weren't able to have bio children and she felt like she was doing a "good thing" in helping an infertile couple.

[blessedbybug]

According to DD's other mom, she chose us for several reasons that included our age (we're older and so is she), our occupations, our location (away but not far away), and the fact that her child would be our first child. With all that, the most important reason was that we both lost a loved one through the same, very difficult circumstances.

For DS, we are less sure the reasons, except their reasons including distance (they didn't want us too close) and the fact their child would have a sibling in our family.

[devildogwife]

I think she chose us because we were childless and from the same state as her. I believe she also liked that I was very familiar with Native American culture/life. I had worked with children on an Indian reservation for 9 years before I was married. She didn't mind at all that we were pretty young.

[Stormster]

I never got the exact reason but we were the only people she chose and she never wavered Even when I didn't call HER back a few times (I thought it was a scam, I had been through a lot and it seemed too good to be true). She stuck by us through thick and thin. Once she kind of told me we seemed "kind" in our pics. But I'd love to know specifically what felt right to her! And I have asked!

We have been told that we look a bit alike (e's birth mother and me) so maybe it was that?

[nee18]

From what I understood, our son's bmom chose us because we were young, didn't have any other children, and were willing to make yearly visits despite living pretty far away from each other. I think she liked our pets and that we had some diversity among friends and family too. She also had her extended family look at our profile and they chose us too, without knowing she had chosen us, which I think helped her feel good about her decision. It's fun to read here all of the very different reasons aparents were chosen.

[live4rachael]

A couple of reasons... We are practicing Catholic which was very important to her. She also knew our story of how we lost our first DD and appreciated how we handled it and how we reflected on it. (We knew birthmom's mom via work at the time, so email traffic about our situation had spread quickly).

[lovemy2boys]

Originally Posted by nee18

She also had her extended family look at our profile and they chose us too, without knowing she had chosen us, which I think helped her feel good about her decision.

This happened with us as well...JD's firstmom, firstdad, and moms two parents looked at all the profiles separately, then came together to discuss who each thought was the best match...All 4 had chosen us.