[BrightEyes_PR]

I've been reading thru the forums and have found a post saying unmarried couples are NOT allowed to adopt in ANY state, but the post was dated 2006 so i guess it's pretty old. ;o)

I want to adopt and have been living with my bf for about 5 yrs. When we went to get info on adoption, not only did the woman refuse to give us ANY information she was downright rude. She said she couldn''t give us any information because we weren't married. I explained in the nicest way I could that we were interested in knowing how the whole process works but she plain old refused because 'we weren't married'. I then asked her if she could give me any information on adoption as a single parent and she gave me the same story. I honestly had never wanted to smack anyone so bad. I know it's probably an awful thing to say, but I was so frustrated with her, her attitude was so horrible!!! I left so angry I cried all the way home. I did NOT expect to be treated like that.

Do all states NOT allow unmarried couples to adopt? Is there any way we'd be able to adopt a child from another state? I know some people say, "Just get married and that way you can adopt." That's just like saying "Oh you're pregnant? You should get married, then." I don't think couples should get married for baby's sake, including adopted ones. And right now getting married is not on our minds. It doesn't mean our home is any different than anyone else's. "Then just get married." When we 'feel' it, we will. I just really want to know in what direction to head or what steps to take to try and adopt even if I were to adopt as a single parent. Thank you all.

[aclee]

The "rule" on singles varies by state and agency (if you go private) My state allows it. Typically you or you BF would adopt and finalize, and then allow the other to adopt...a la Brad and Angelina...

I would go out on a limb and say that most states allow single adoption, and most agencies allow single adoption, but some of the agencies based on religon might not because you aren't technically "single" since you live with a BF. Just find and agency that will work with you, or check into your state laws.

[BrightEyes_PR]

THNX ACLEE!!

What if my state doesn't allow it, but a different state does? Would it matter? Would my state give me a bad review because of being unmarried, or would the child's state be the one to make that decision?

BTW, loooooooove the name Tyler. It's funny cause I'm kinda searching around and I think CT allows it and it's my homestate so that would be kinda nice. =o)

[calee]

Hi BrightEyes. You will need a homestudy completed in your state, so you will have to follow your state laws.

[finallyamom0310]

I just PM'd you as I live in CT as well and although we are married would love to help in anyway I can.

[mommieof2cuties]

My advice is that YOU should adopt as a single mother and than when it is final you could have the BF adopt the baby. You

[KLL08]

I think had we waited to get married until after I adopted as a single mom, we'd have a child already! Most agencies in our state require a 3 year length of marriage, but singles can adopt at my age and income...makes no sense to me!! So we are using out of state agencies, we just had to find an agency in our state to do the homestudy, because state laws do not require a length of marriage here. Good luck to you!

[birthmom25]

I don't think couples should get married for baby's sake, including adopted ones. And right now getting married is not on our minds

I was just thinking, that that coment isn';t my favorite. A lot of things I think should be done for a baby's sake. If not, why would I have placed my child for adoption in the first place. Maybe we should do some things for the ones we love? I'd rather have an unmarried couple than a gay married couple adopt my child though. That probably sounds harsh, but I just want the best for my daughter. And old fashoned me, thinks that comes from a man and woman in a married secure household. I want a abiding document of intention for both partners to be a present in my child's life, for their entire life. I don't want anyone coming and going and forming attachments, then breaking them with her. That's just my opinion. If you went to an agency where the birth moms choose the parents, I would just expect that you would not get very many girls choosing you if you are unmarried. The 30 women I lived with during my pregnancy, were all just as picky as me (if not more!) So you might want to take that into consideration? Best of luck though! I can tell your heart is in the right place.