[melissa_bear003]

I got some news yesterday that I've been mulling over, trying to decide how I feel about it.

I was talking to our Family and Children's Services, about attending information night, their info pkg, etc. I asked if my injury/disability would prevent us from adopting/foster to adopt. (I was working as a nursing attendant, assaulted by a resident, and now have about 10-15% use of my dominant hand/arm and chronic pain). She asked, "Does it keep you from parenting the children you have now?" "No, of course not!" "Well then, why would it keep you from parenting an adopted child? It wouldn't have any bearing on your case." so that was great news

But...they have a rule that states that you must wait one year from a traumatic injury or illness...and this definately falls under that. Losing use of my dominant arm, and therefore my career, my future career (was planning to get my LPN) would most certainly mean 'traumatic'. So, we cannot proceed until at least June of 09.

In some ways, that was really upsetting, then the more I thought about it, the more I was able to see some positive in it. I'd been feeling weighed down with guilt over our hesitation to start the process. My husband wants to wait until we have a larger home, and things are more settled with Workers Compensation. I was of the mindset that there's never a 'perfect' time, and either we'd get approved as we are, or we wouldn't, but at least we'd know, and there was a strong likelihood that we would be approved, so why wait?

So, now the pressure is off in that sense. Dh and I have been talking more about adoption, and leaning towards a younger child than the one we'd initially seen in the photo listing site. We can use this time to work on our mental 'to do' lists, and increase our confidence in ourselves, and ability to meet what ever standards and tests may be involved with the adoption process, and have time for the compensation issue to be sorted out.

So, its bittersweet, but I'm viewing it as a gift of time, as opposed to a negative, or closed door. I'd still rather 'go go go get it done!' because that's my personality, but I guess this is another chance to learn paitence. Paitence is definately NOT one of my many virtues!

[aclee]

I can sort of understand the rule, and I'm glad that you can see it as not a completely negative thing. I think in all aspects of adoption you have to agree to let things happen as they will and believe that everything happens the way it should.

best of luck, and I hope you'll stick around with us!

[melissa_bear003]

I totally understand the rule. My upset was due to the injury itself, not the rule, if that makes sense.

And since we ARE going to adopt at some point, and my husband is an adoptee...I'd say you're pretty stuck with me

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by melissa_bear003

I totally understand the rule. My upset was due to the injury itself, not the rule, if that makes sense.

And since we ARE going to adopt at some point, and my husband is an adoptee...I'd say you're pretty stuck with me

I'm glad! I've enjoyed your perspective on things.

[finallyamom0310]

I know it will sound corny but to me this means that your child is not ready to come to you yet. I waited 9 months for DD and that was after 6 months to get the whole home study stuff done. One delay after another. I took it to mean that she wasn't ready to come and she wasn't.

[mommmmy]

Couldn't you still continue the licensing/homestudy process during this time and you would just have to wait for placement until after June. Often times it takes several (to quite a few) months to get all that done anyway.

[melissa_bear003]

Originally Posted by mommmmy

Couldn't you still continue the licensing/homestudy process during this time and you would just have to wait for placement until after June. Often times it takes several (to quite a few) months to get all that done anyway.

My impression from talking to them yesterday is that they wouldn't even progress past an interview with the injury being too recent...*shrugs* I don't think I could go through the homestudy at this point, as the injury being less than a year old simply makes us ineligible for approval.