[minibus]

I've worked with a LOT of kids over the years (social services, therapist) and I found that I was able to connect better with girls than with boys. Especially in the ones that were acting out - it's always been easier for me to deal with an acting out teen girl than an acting out teen boy. My preference was for a girl, as we were only planning to adopt once and have one child. We ended up with the best of all worlds with our kids - a boy and a girl and both at once!

[jules17]

I am SUCH a daddy's girl, and I know my DH wants a girl for that very reason.

It is funny with us and the whole "carrying" on the name thing. Our children will likely be the only children on either side (as in my husband's brother and my sister likely won't have kids).

Our last name (DH's) is long and Polish. So we laugh about our little Guatemalan Polish boys.

[Tracey33]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Truth is, in the end it doesn't make a huge difference, you could end up with a boy who likes dolls or a girl who's into physical stuff.

So true. Our 5 year old DS has a "tool purse", and a pink wallet - both cast-offs of mine, and he asked for them. DS is very much into me right now, which I'm absolutely LOVING. He tells me I'm the "beautifullest mommy he's ever seen", and tells me he's going to marry me when he grows up. I know this won't last forever, but I'm eating up this stage of his life.

We started the process intending to adopt internationally, and we were going to request a girl. We already had a boy, and I wanted to do the girly things - frilly dresses, dolls, shopping trips, etc. I felt a little uneasy specifying gender (I mean, it's not like picking out a puppy), but having lost part of my body and soul to cancer, I looked at it as a weird sort of reward for that difficult part of my life. Then we switched to domestic, and no longer specified a gender, so I figured that if I were pregnant myself, I wouldn't get to choose, so it was no big deal.

We now have a beautiful 3 month old daughter, so for now, at least until she can express her opinion, I get to do the frilly girl clothes. Who knows how long it'll last.

[Stormster]

Personally I think I have grown a lot (as a girly girl who loves her girlfriends and has virtually no male friends outside my husband's friends).

E has taken me out of my comfort zone and made me parent more consciously.

Best thing that could have happened!

[KarynB]

Maybe it because boys are really stinky (mine has VERY smelly feet), they think farts are funny, and think that bodily fluids are toys.

Maybe it because if you have a boy, every time you do laundry you will need to clean your washer of the shredded kleenexs, toy cars, and even possibly insect parts.

Maybe its because boys will take apart every single appliance or elactronic gadget you've ever owned - and you'll need to keep replacing them on a consisent basis.

Maybe because you'll need to read them books with titles such as "Captain Underpants and the Overflowing Toilet" again and again and again.

Maybe it because you need to learn to turn off the "panic" response every time you lookup and see your boys 30 feet off the ground in a tree trying to reach cherries, standing on top of a metal football goal post in the middle of an electrical storm, or rappelling off your third floor balcony at age three. Yes, folks, BTDT.

Of course, this is why I LOVE my boys, have so much to laugh about every day, and why my life is never boring - but maybe that's why? LOL!!!!

[KarynB]

Originally Posted by jules17

Our last name (DH's) is long and Polish. So we laugh about our little Guatemalan Polish boys.

Had to laugh at this jules - we are in the same boat! Our boys have VERY Zulu first names, and DH's last name which is VERY Dutch. Our little Zulu Dutch Canadians. Good think we didn't hyphen cause mine is VERY French. Poor kids!!!!!

[jp4ga]

We wanted a girl, because we already had a boy. We were told that the wait time would be longer because a lot of the ultrasounds are done too early and a lot of babies are listed with agencies as unknown. We decided we would try for 6 months for a girl and then go for an unknown. At the end of 6 months we did that and were contacted a few months later for a newborn girl. We were happy but would have been happy with a boy also.

[jalapeno]

I suppose we could have specified gender but didn't. I had a slight preference for a boy and DH had a slight preference for a girl. When we were licensed they told us there tended to be very few girls in the system. I've always thought that was strange.

I think boy clothes are adorable. My friends with only boys tend to get a little whiny about not being able to dress up a little girl. Not to say the girl stuff isn't cute, but I like the boy stuff just as much.

[Leigh131313]

To be honest - I get VERY angry when people get all worked up about the sex of their baby (bio or adopted). To the point that I secretly wish they get what they don't want.

Yeah....I'm a bad person.

[mdesi]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

To be honest - I get VERY angry when people get all worked up about the sex of their baby (bio or adopted). To the point that I secretly wish they get what they don't want.

Yeah....I'm a bad person.

That's why I keep my preferences to myself. It's nobody's business what I want or prefer. Plus, people who ask always want to try to talk you into the other gender. (I don't get worked up, but I do have a personal preference. However, if I got all of my personal preferences granted, I would have three or four kids by now.)

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

To be honest - I get VERY angry when people get all worked up about the sex of their baby (bio or adopted). To the point that I secretly wish they get what they don't want.

Yeah....I'm a bad person.

No I agree. I said it earlier.

I wouldn't want my DS to know we wanted a boy over a girl or we wanted a girl but got him instead. Not for me. But I don't wish they get what they don't want!

[Fran27]

I agree Leigh... mostly it makes me sad for the kid, although I'm sure in most cases the baby is just as loved even if he/she is the 'wrong' sex.

[Linny]

Tell ya what: Around here, little boys clothing is AWFUL!!!! Once little boys turn 2yrs old, seems that almost ALL of the clothing reflects trucks, cars, sports or hunting....and nothing else? And....coloring, for the most part are one of these or combination thereof:
Dark gray, dark blue, dark brown, black, dark green, dark red, and that's about it.
I simply can't stand the fact that boys' clothing seems to reflect nothing but ADULT clothing after the age of 2yrs! Surely, there are at least a FEW MORE YEARS of a child being a little boy, not some miniature adult man!?!?!?!!? (UGH)
I know that little boy clothing is adorable in other countries....at least this is the way it was in Japan when dh and I lived there and had adopted our second baby. I bought SO many items of clothing for him before we left, because I knew the US seems to have a weird view of boys, vs other countries....or at least it seemed that way at the time. (And at least around here, that's the way it STILL is!!!!!)
My boys aren't pushed into sports (dh is NOT a sports fan, though he played football and baseball as a kid; but hates what it's turned into nowadays); they're also not pushed into cars, trucks and what THIS country considers 'boy stuff'...EXCLUSIVELY. (not shouting here, just giving the emphasis).

It's just so sad to me...when little baby girl clothing is SO cute. At least if you don't like that much of it, there's more of a variety---that's for sure!!!!!! (irked face here).

Sincerely,

Linny

[aclee]

I've got a couple things to say on the subject.

1st, I was amazed that people that partake in minority adoption are even more likely to request a girl. When I enthusiastically told one adoption worker that I didn't blame them, I was looking forward to braiding too, she had to set me straight and tell me most people would adopt girls because boys would somehow "forever" change the make up the family name. ie, DH is the last one in his family to carry on the name C (this is true) now the name C will have AA heritage, where before it didn't....but who really knows if it did anyway, Dh was/is a mutt, and no one in his family cared one iota that Ty was AA. What I don't get is, you are either carrying on the family, biologically or you aren't...why does it matter if the person carrying it on is white, or a minority. I didn't really get it, but apparently that's what sometimes happens.
2nd, We did not specify. We found there to be more girl situations that we applied to, and it was mainly Baby Born boys. We applied for anything that came our way that fit our budget. We were torn. I would have loved (and will hopefully, someday love) a big head of hair to do some awesome hair styles in, if she's willing. But at the same time, I always thought it would be so great to have a big brother, and I never had one. I had to fight my own battles. I love that Ty will always be around for his siblings as a big brother. I've had big sisters...3 of them. They aren't all they are cracked up to be. Love them now...amazing we all made it to adulthood.


Dh and I love planning our gianormous family (in order for that to happen we would have to move, or take on the state regarding their limit on the # of children you can adopt form FC, so we'll see) but he totally sees us surrounded by a herd of boys. I tell him he can't see the one girl, because her brothers are busy beating up anyone that looks at her. One girl...someday...god willing. The rest...Momma's boys. The number of male sibling sets (esp AA) in foster care is truly astounding.

[binkybear]

Everyone just seems to think we'll be blessed with a boy. Which is honestly what I always pictured. I'd love girl, boy or both at once! But I wouldn't prefer or select one over the other.

I do love boys clothing. There's nothing cuter IMO. Plus it's still innocent. What "they've" done to little girls clothing is sick in some cases. I don't want to see "sweet" on a 5 year old girls bottom, yah know.

Aclee I'm giggling about the hair. My niece has this super curly adorable hair and loves the idea of barrettes, clips and all...but it's just in theory. When she gets anything in her hair it's instantly pulled out. New phase is she wants all of US to wear them for her . And I was a terrible first little girl for my mom. I wanted zip, zero, nothing to do with dresses, hair or girly things