[Saya]

Anabel has got a lot to deal with lately. Daddy’s job is now taking him away 3 days a week. At the same time, she has just started a new pre-school 3 days a week. (She likes school a lot, but it’s still a difficult transition.) I know I need to just support her and love her through this time, but a few things are driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do about it.

1) Her sleep, usually great, has had major problems. She still usually naps at home at least an hour and a half, sometimes as long as 2 and a half hours. At pre-school she’s napping only about 45 minutes and Monday didn’t nap AT ALL. Then the past few days she’s been waking up at 5am (6am is her usually wake-up time) and our mornings have not been fun. It used to be if she woke up really early she’d just entertain herself in her crib. Now she’s calling mommy mommy mommy, and if I don’t go to her she starts freaking out. But if I go to her and say you have to go back to sleep it’s not time to get up yet she starts screaming. And if I let her come to my bed, which is what she wants, she immediately wants to be awake and running around and jumping on the bed. And when I tell her she has to try to rest still, it’s too early to get up, she starts screaming. I mean we’ve been having multiple screaming tantrums before 6am over the past few days, and it’s REALLY not working for me. (DH has been away so it's just me and A.)

2) She’s been doing this thing, I assume because she feels she wants to regain some control over her life, of doing these “fake” hits. By which I mean if I do something she doesn’t like (which covers a lot of ground right now) she’ll reach over and give me these “hits” on my leg or arm. It’s not like she’s hitting in a rage, and they certainly don’t hurt. But they’re definitely meant to show me displeasure. Part of me doesn’t care if she does it, because it seems like a not terrible way of dealing with some of her anger issues, and besides I’m kind of too tired to deal with it right now. But deep down I KNOW it’s not healthy to let her get away with it.

What can I do? I’m solo-parenting plus working full time 3 days a week and I’m starting to get a little exhausted from lack of sleep and frustrated from her constant defiance . . .

[finallyamom0310]

I wish I could help. DD is about a year younger but is getting up every night again too and early and I too work full time. DH is home though so on that I can't sympathize. The rest I can so I wanted to send you some hugs.

[minibus]

OMG. I can totally sympathize. K gets up at 6 am at the latest, including the weekends (which is what KILLS me). This Saturday, she was up at 5:15 am and there was NO way she was going back to sleep (she started screaming bloody murder at 5:15 and continued, despite all my attempts at anything, including distraction, for 1/2 hour).

My advice - which doesn't work that well for me, but who the heck knows, might work for you, if your little one is more verbal than mine... (K is 22 months).

Talk to her about her feelings while she's awake. When it's 5:30 am and she's screaming, go in, tell her it's time to go back to sleep or play quietly in her crib for now. Then go somewhere out of her sight. You won't be able to go back to sleep, but you also won't be reinforcing it.

As for the hitting, even though it doesn't hurt now, you don't want to let it go, because that will be telling her it's ok. I would recommend a short timeout when she hits, no matter how hard. You can say something along the lines of "I'm sorry you're mad at me, but we do not hit."

Isn't it the WORST when you're sleep deprived and having to deal with a defiant child? Ugh! Good luck!!