[reetoreet]

Here is the situation....almost seven months ago the birthmother signed her consent in relinquishment. She actually signed it twice, once in the hospital and then once at the lawyers office because there was a typo in the original document. She is angry with me because I didn't return her phone call and she is threatening to take back her consent. Now, this consent took place in South Carolina where there is no waiting period after relinquishment. The only way she can take back her consent is if she could prove she was under duress or fraud, or if it is in the best interest of the child. I have had Lily since she was 5 days old. She was taken from birthmom at birth because her other child was already taken from her. Now birthmother is claiming that she was using drugs at the time of the consent. We have the hospital records because we had to obtain them for the ICPC. In the records all of her drug test read negative. Can she do much to take my sweet Lily away? We haven't finalized because birthfather just got served but that day is coming. My lawyer stated that she can't do a whole lot because the law would not be on her side. She signed the consents twice and the drug test the day before and the day after the consent were negative. She seems to thinks she has all this power now and that she is going to get the baby back. She doesn't even have custody of her other daughter at this point. Her other daughter remains in foster care. Should I be as worried as I am or is the deal pretty much done? Please give me your input.

[Whirled_Peas]

I don't know, but it sounds like bmom is just making noise.

[crystalp]

I agree. It doesn't sound like she has a case.

[loveajax]

I am sure you are freaking out, but I would listen to your lawyer....Hang in there!

[SupaModel]

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry you have to deal with that. Can't imagine

[RobinKay]

What a nasty attitude bmom has! It seems like you are "safe" from anything she can do to you or your daughter.

Listen to your lawyer--and keep loving and enjoying your daughter.

[reetoreet]

Has anyone ever had a birthparent try to or threaten to try to revoke consent? Do you think i should try to write her a letter or just cut off all contact. I tried to talk to her today and it just causes a fight i can't really speak over her yelling.

[ourdreamcametru]

It doesn't sound much like she has any say so anymore. For the time being I would lay low and wait for finalization before trying to proceed with the relationship if that is what you decide to do. Hang on!

[NicoleP80]

I agree with the other posters. Talking to her really won't do you any good at this point. I would quit talking to her and let her know anything she needs to say should go through your lawyer or should be in writing via email (for proof).

I don't think she stands a chance and I wouldnt worry about it. But I know that is easier (so much easier) said than truly done. This woman does not want this child back, she wants attention and by accepting her phone calls you are giving that to her.

Good luck and keep us updated

[nikkianni]

We had somewhat of the same placement situation, though not the same problem.
DD's bparents placed her because their first child had been removed from their home and placed permanently with a grandparent. They had already been told DD would not be going home with them and they did not want either set of their parents to have her.
That's where we came in.
DD had been home with us for about a week when we received a call from DHS in the county she was born. The agent politely asked me if we had DD and I said yes. He started asking about whether we'd gone through an agency, whether DD's bparents had signed TPR, who had been there at signing, etc. He said "someone" had made a complaint about DD being missing and while things sounded on the level, he would have someone come out and confirm we did have her and she was the child in question.
I FLIPPED. I called my agency just this side of hysterical. Our rep calmed me down and told me not to worry, she'd get to the bottom of it. Half an hour later, she called back to say that the grandparent who has custody of DD's bio sibling had called in a complaint when she realized DD had been born and no one had called her. She'd assumed she would have DD too.
Our rep. was great. She assured me that placement of DD was still the bparent's decision, and that everything had been done on the up and up. A social worker did have to visit us to look at our paperwork and actually see DD, but that was it. We never heard a peep again.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I don't think there's anything that can be done at this point to nullify the adoption. Certainly if she could prove coercion, but that doesn't sound like the case.
We had the same concerns and were told that if the adoption was contested, DHS would become involved and while that would drag the process out, it would basically mean we had nothing to worry about.
Hang in there!

[finallyamom0310]

I just wanted to say hang in there. This is every adoptive parents fear and I am so sorry you are going through this. Listen to your attorney and trust them.

[Gwen72]

I agree with previous posters that she doesn't have a case. Even if she was positive for drugs when she signed the consent, the state has taken her other child and she obviously has not gone through the hoops to get them back. No judge is going to give your baby back to a woman who can't take care of her oldest and would have had to sneak drugs into the hospital for her current allegation to be true. Relax, she's either just being vindictive or she's on something right now and her drug addled brain just thinks she has a case. I am sorry you are going through this.

[danhanan]

Our DD's bmom got angry at us and tried to revoke the adoption. Apparently she went to a couple of different lawyers and was told the same thing. There was nothing that she could do because she had signed relinquishment. She tried to say that she wasn't in the right mental state to have signe and she tried to say that she was coerced and tricked. The truth is this....she dropped DD off with us when she was eigt weeks old. After a year, she decided that the best thing was for us to adopt. It was a 6 month process that she actively participated in. We all went to court together and the judge told her before she signed that she needed to be sure that it's what she wanted because once she signed that paper there was no turning back, that there was nothing she could do. That was 6 years ago. However, even knowing that and gtting reassurance from our lawyer, my nerves were very unsettled for a while. I even spoke to her lawyer about it and got the same reassurance. So, try to relax, and don't call her. You'll only be feeding into it.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by reetoreet

Has anyone ever had a birthparent try to or threaten to try to revoke consent? Do you think i should try to write her a letter or just cut off all contact. I tried to talk to her today and it just causes a fight i can't really speak over her yelling.

I woudln't have any further contact until after finalization. If she calls, refer her to your lawyer and then hang up. Or just don't answer her calls.

[mrskt]

DHS worker here who does relinquishments and adoptions... she doesn't have anything - don't worry. This is the reason witnesses are required to complete relinquishments and we take such precautions in making sure that a parent is NOT under the influence. Hospital records should also show that pretty easily. The fact that she signed two separate consents would also be pretty telling to any judge. And trying the argument that she was under the influence would only backfire on her with regard to both her other child already in foster care, and any attempts towards regaining custody of this child.

I would also not have any more contact until this is resolved, for your own piece of mind.

Best wishes,
Katy