[Momtosons]

We decided to pass on the situation where we were matched b/c we later learned that things would have been very difficult....onward...

So, we were presented with a birthmom today. Without giving too much detail, we have learned that on the birthmom and on the BF's sides of the family, there is schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and chronic depression. The birthmom herself does not have any of these conditions right now....but she is young.

Would you guys move forward? My husband and I are undecided.....

ETA....sorry for the bad spelling in the title....didn't even realize until I had posted! LOL!

[lovemy2boys]

I would do a bit of research on the matter, and then decide...

My MIL has been diagnosed with all 3 - and although my SIL has some minor depression, DH and his sibs are fine...

One of our boys' firstfamilies suffers from some of the things you described...they did not disclose this prior to placement...

Although we wish we would have been told about it from the beginning, we would have had the same worries/issues with a biological child, because of the history in my DH's family.

Good Luck!

[Momtosons]

Thank you!! Your post made feel a bunch better!

[Sohmakun]

Yes, I personally would have. But I am very flexible when it comes to health, gender and openess but not so much when it comes to race. Don't feel bad for choosing not to be shown. This is the beauty of being an adoptive parent, being able to say "no" to certain situations.

In the meantime, I need a baby to come my way. lol

[OakShannon]

We faced similar questions with our son. A child who has one parent with schizophrenia has a 10% chance of developing it themselves. If both parents have it, the odds are 30%. If more distant relatives are affected, the odds are much lower. (It's 1 percent in the general population.) There is also evidence that early trauma, neglect and/or abuse increase the odds of developing schizophrenia. Signs usually show up during the teen years or early adulthood.

Bipolar disorder can show up later and I'm not as sure about the inheritance pattern. Clearly there is a risk, and you need to be comfortable with that. But if the parents are healthy, then your odds are certainly better. Fortunately, much more is known about mental illness than we knew a generation ago and there are more effective treatments now.

Good luck with your decision!

[rosed6914]

My son appeared to be perfectly healthy at birth and was later diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome--a form of high functioning autism. He is now 17, getting ready to graduate from high school, drives his own car, has a part time job, and is getting ready for college next year.

I am aware that he could have had to same disability or something more severe even if he was my biological child. I believe that God brought him to our family for a reason. He is wonderful, quirky, and I would not trade his "oddness" for anything in the world.

Good luck with whatever decision your family makes.

[Linny]

...There is also evidence that early trauma, neglect and/or abuse increase the odds of developing schizophrenia. --OakShannon

And, I think you may find that environment plays SUCH A significant role in chronic depression and bi-polar too. It's not the cure-all by any means, and I'm not trivializing the importance of consideration; but I agree it's important to realize that just because a bio connection has these issues, isn't necessarily a sentence for the same in a baby.
This is surely a tough decision, but as someone else suggested, just be sure to research it well.
Good luck in whatever you decide!

Sincerely,

Linny

[zxczxcasdasd]

My son's birth mother has paranoid schizophrenia, GAD, OCD, phobias, depression...a whole paragraph full of diagnoses. Luckily, she is highly managed by a whole team of professionals, has a very supportive and stable home environment (now...not as a child) and has even spoken in public and given interviews to newspapers on her experience of living with paranoid schizophrenia. She is very open and public about her illness and is unabashed that she has a biological disease (schizophrenia is a brain disorder that causes psychotic symptoms) just like others may have diabetes, asthma or cancer. Her own mother is also mentally ill, along with her grandfather and aunt, and she was abused and neglected in early childhood. Although hard to quantify, most professionals agree that environmental factors play a significant a role in the onset of mental illness where a genetic predisposition may exist.

So far, at 19, J has no signs of any mental illness whatsoever. It still could show up in the early twenties, but at this point I would be very surprised. It's always been a concern, but not a sentence of doom.

Best wishes in your decision.

[Momtosons]

Originally Posted by zxczxcasdasd

My son's birth mother has paranoid schizophrenia, GAD, OCD, phobias, depression...a whole paragraph full of diagnoses. Luckily, she is highly managed by a whole team of professionals, has a very supportive and stable home environment (now...not as a child) and has even spoken in public and given interviews to newspapers on her experience of living with paranoid schizophrenia. She is very open and public about her illness and is unabashed that she has a biological disease (schizophrenia is a brain disorder that causes psychotic symptoms) just like others may have diabetes, asthma or cancer. Her own mother is also mentally ill, along with her grandfather and aunt, and she was abused and neglected in early childhood. Although hard to quantify, most professionals agree that environmental factors play a significant a role in the onset of mental illness where a genetic predisposition may exist.

So far, at 19, J has no signs of any mental illness whatsoever. It still could show up in the early twenties, but at this point I would be very surprised. It's always been a concern, but not a sentence of doom.

Best wishes in your decision.

Thank you!!! WOW that made feel SO much better!!! We're still debating....but I am definitely feeling more and more comfortable with these illnesses!