[MSkorseth]

Hi. My husband and I are brand new to the adoption process. We have no idea how to get started, who to talk to, or where to apply. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

[Whirled_Peas]

Are you doing international or domestic?

In either case, you need to have a homestudy completed by an agency. Some agencies help arrange matches, others do not.

We did a private adoption where we got a homestudy done then found a baby via a private referral. It was much cheaper than going through an agency, but required more work from us.

[MSkorseth]

Thank you! This helps alot! Now I know what the first step is to take.

[mandirenee]

A homestudy is the 1st step. But, be very choiceful about the agency. Here are a few tips:

Alot of agencies can do both homestudy and matching/placing, some don't so ask those questions.

Research, Reserch, Research your agnecies. Ask tons of questions about the fees, when they are due, how birthmother expenses are handled, what do you get back in cases of failed matches or placements. Also ask for references - and call them.

Our choice is to not pay much money before placment. It's typical to pay for your homestudy upfront, typically 1/2 at the start and 1/2 when complete. Costs around $1-3,000 Then most agencies charge an application fee anywhere from $250 - thousands. Then some charge a fee at match (this is usually not refundable). Then a fee at placment. But some agencies make you pay in 1/3's so 1/3 at homstudy, 1/3 at match, 1/3 at placment and the 1st 2/3rd may not be refundable. Then some agencies make you pay 6 monthly payments of the full fee upfront. In other words they are all different. But you have to feel comfortable with the fees, refund policy,and administration of the funds.

Birthmother expenses is something you will have to address. These monies are governed by the states laws, but many states have no limits. I've talked to agencies that are willing to allow propspective adoptive parents to pay as much as $5-10,000 above the fees in living expenses. This is something you will have to decide, but these are typically lost if the placement fails. Personally, we are not willing to pay more than $1000 in expenses to help with maternity expenses. But, this is a personal/financial decision.

You may also want to understand the counseling they offer to expecting mothers and also how the advertise to expecting mothers.


Best of luck to you on your journey! It's not easy, there will be tears, stress, and loss - but once your baby is in your arms for good- you will know that is was worth it all!

[MSkorseth]

Wow. Thank you so much for your response. It really helps a lot to know what to expect and what to look for. My husband and I both really appreciate it. I hope your next match is successful.

[Adriatica]

You might want to call your county or state adoption agency to find out about their fees and processes.

And most agencies, whether they are private or government-run, have orientation or informational meetings where you can get many questions answered. These are a great place to start.

[hope.4.Ali]

If domestic adoption.....

I totally agree with Mandirenee - don't go with an agency that pays too much up front and ask if you lose your money if you have a failed placement.

Also, I would suggest learning about the TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) length for your state. Our state has a long TPR period and in our situation it has been much longer than normal. What I didn't realize is that we could adopt from any state - we just needed to work with an agency that does interstate adoptions.

2004 Resource on state laws http://www.theadoptionguide.com/file...optionLaws.pdf

Good luck!

[Adoption_Ally]

I'm not sure that I agree that having a homestudy is the first step in adoption.

If I were to start over not having been through the process, the first thing I would do is a LOT of research about the various types of adoption available and figure out what best fits my family and my lifestyle.

In broad terms there are three basic types of adoption - international, foster-to-adopt and newborn. Each has benefits and challenges and each has a devoted following. None is better than the others, it depends more on what your expectations are and what you are willing to go through.

Costs can vary tremendously as well. Foster-to-adopt through your state can cost next to nothing; international adoption can be very expensive, depending on where you adopt from.

There are also limitations depending on the age, health, marital status, etc. of the prospective adoptive parents (PAP's).

Spend a lot of time on various adoption boards, talk to anyone and everyone you know who has adopted, meet with whomever in your state does foster-to-adopt.

There are also some very good books out there on adoption.

There aren't any right or wrong choices - what's important is deciding what will work best for you.

It may seem a little overwhelming at first, but if you take your time and educate yourself, it's all pretty manageable.