[KarynB]

I was at a friend's house this morning who has one bio daughter and a (younger) adopted son. She kept refering to her DD as her "miracle" baby - and boy did this bug me!!!! I know what she was saying - they never expected to conceive, and then were never succesful after that, but still!!!!

I have heard this so many times from adoptive parents - and I can't even imagine how it makes the adopted child feel to be the "non-miracle" kid in the family.

Anyone else hear this and cringe?

[OKLibrarian]

Speaking from experience (unrelated to adopting/fertility issues), it ain't no picnic being the "miracle" either. Talk about putting inflated expectations on a kid...My parents never said that (at least not in a way that singled me out from my brother), but others did, and it drove a lot of my anxiety/perfection issues. I don't know if this helps much, but I can at least ditto that it's a pet peeve...

[Eponine]

Ugh - I had a coworker who had 2 bio daughters, but would refer to the first as her "miracle" and the second as her "surprise" in a way that made it sound like the 2nd was totally unwanted. *cringe* at what issues those children will have....

[SupaModel]

My son IS my miracle baby. I NEVER thought I would ever really become a mom. By the grace of God he brought DS to me and now I'm a real mommy!! It's truly a miracle in my eyes.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by SupaModel

My son IS my miracle baby. I NEVER thought I would ever really become a mom. By the grace of God he brought DS to me and now I'm a real mommy!! It's truly a miracle in my eyes.

I was going to say the same things... My two are my miracles...

[KatiesEd-dad]

I agree with Supa. Katie is our miracle baby.

I do have to say that labeling a bio child a "miracle" due to the slim chances of conception is probably not a real healthy thing for the adopted child to hear. Kind of like labeling the youngest child the "oops" or "accident" child.

[Saya]

When I saw the title to the thread, I just assumed it was going to be some kind of loving ode to your child by adoption - your "miracle" baby! I really can't think of anything more miraculous! It does disturb me that any family would say that about a bio child and not their adopted child.

[ourdreamcametru]

I would hate to be the child with that lable! I have to say that all my children, as well as all other children are miracles in my eyes!

[ChromaKelly]

All my children are miracles!!

[Leigh131313]

my 4yr old little "miracle" is more like a holy terror these days ....but yes, I do consider him my miracle baby as I will any future child we have

I would never feel it's apropriate to single out either child as "the miracle" baby. If it were equal (these are my two miracle babies - we never thought we'd have children) then I'm ok with it!

[aclee]

ALL children are miracles...adopted, biological, easily conceived, planned or unplanned, AA, CC, Asian Hispanic, boys or girls...all miracles.

[Vogi2002]

((((aclee))))

Totally agree...

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by aclee

ALL children are miracles...adopted, biological, easily conceived, planned or unplanned, AA, CC, Asian Hispanic, boys or girls...all miracles.

Let's not forget those of us with Native American children.

And I've gotta say, I have called Cameron a miracle many times, as have his surgeons and doctors and nurses. Watching him come back from being SO ill, I believe with all of my heart that he is a medical miracle. My goodness, I thank God that he was born now when his life can be saved. I have seen him so close to needing a heart transplant, knowing his heart has stopped at 10 hours old, months in the hospital, I literally believe he's a miracle. I cry almost every day in the car because I am in awe of the people who have saved his life, time and again.

[SuzBerg]

I basically agree with everything DDW said (my daughter has the same heart-defect as her son). I KNOW she is a miracle - it is truly a miracle that she is with us (not just medically but the fact that we found her and she found us is also a miracle). Btw my bio-boys are miracles too (but not in the earth-shaking, heart-stoping, pray with gratefulness everday - way as their sister)

[Yash]

Yes, all babies are miracles. True gifts from God.

Hopefully this woman was saying that because she felt she could trust you with her inner thoughts. I know my youngest nephew was an oops baby and my niece was a "how in the world did that happen" baby. Okay, my sister knew how it happened, but you get the point. Will my nephew and niece ever know these details? No, never.

I just hope this woman doesn't treat her miracle baby like a miracle baby. Just this week I stopped by my cousin's house to talk to her miracle baby and my cousin said, oh, she's not home, she's out and about and if I'm awake when she gets home, I'll give her your message. When my cousin said this, once again I was amazed at all the privileges her miracle baby got that her oldest daughter never dreamed of getting. Yes, her miracle daughter was born after 2 miscarriages and 2 babies that died shortly after birth, but this girl isn't the second coming of Jesus. Yet all her life she's been treated that way.

OkLibrarian, thanks for the new perspective. Maybe my cousin does feel bad about the special treatment she gets that she knows her sister never got.