[Sohmakun]

Originally Posted by paigeturner

She was driving me crazy with the four year old; nagging at him constantly, “chew your food Daniel, chew, chew, chew!” “Daniel, don’t tap your feet like that you’re bothering people!” “Daniel, sit up straight!” “Daniel, CHEW!” “Daniel, don’t tap your glass!” ETC, ETC, ETC!

I feel the same way sometimes, sheesh how can a four year old sit still long enough for a long dinner conversation?

[Tazer]

As the mother of a 2 month old "preemie" no less I get so much unwanted advice that I just want to fling him at them and yell "HERE, YOU DO IT, TAKE HIM HOME RAISE HIM AND BRING HIM BACK WHEN HE'S ABLE TO WORK AND SUPPORT HIMSELF!" Supamodel posted:

"Seriously who cares what people think. I just do me. Honestly as long as DH and I agree no on else matter".

I don't even listen to HIM; this is our third child, born nine years after d/h had a vasectomy,since he couldn't get that right he isn't allowed to offer hints or advice on child rearing! Tracy

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by Tazer

I don't even listen to HIM; this is our third child, born nine years after d/h had a vasectomy,since he couldn't get that right he isn't allowed to offer hints or advice on child rearing! Tracy

OOOO.... SNAP!!! Hahahah....

[buttascotchbaby]

I especially love it when the person giving the advice has never had children! A year or so ago a couple of friends (women in their late 40s who had not had children) wanted to take my 6 y.o. then foster daughter out for a special treat (they thought she was sooo cuuute! -of course they only saw her for short periods of time and were unaware of her many underlying issues). I told them that I was sorry, but it had not been a good week for her and she would be unable to go this time. I said if she worked on her thumb sucking and lying (two big things that my father and I had been putting a lot of time into with her) she could go with them at another time.

In front of my FD, my dad and I, both women began to justify thumb sucking and lying! One said "In my profession, sales, lying is a good thing"!? and the other said "Oh, I sucked my thumb until I was at least 12"! Thank. You. Very. Much.

Here is my very easily influenced, wanting adult approval, very smart and manipulative FD taking it all in, hearing that two adults were telling her that it was A OK to lie and suck her thumb! Grrrrrr! My dad said "Can you please SHUT UP?!" to the women who became very offended and the friendship pretty much ended because they were so offended that we were upset by their comments, that potentially set my FD way back in the progress that had been made. Some people are clueless!

[mommmmy]

One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was to not share any information until and unless you are completely comfortable and grounded in it. This way whatever someone has to say won't bother you. It's worked really well for me. And I notice when I've typically gotten worked up about something...it's because I haven't followed this.

I have to remind myself sometimes - Other people's opinions of me is NONE of my business.

I simply don't allow it...which may sound *****y but oh well. My thought is they aren't paying my bills.

And here's the thing....all these things that people get into other people's business about - doesn't matter one little bit in a few years. All these discussions about how your child sleeps, eats, poops, breastfeeding/formula, etc.....no one will even know. So my thought is - why is it there business when they are little? To me it's sortof like adoption information....it's just none of their business.

I think we can tell when someone is asking because they are asking for our input and assistence in a positive way - that's a very different thing.

BTW ...I've been a parent for over 20 years now and it's amazing how many that did have things to say about how I parented in the early days are now the ones that sing my praises. You know yourself, your child(ren) and your family best...you are the best one to determine what's right for them....no one else.

[Adopted-B-4]

Honestly, I have always thought that I might feel overly criticized because our children are adopted. Like, everyone thinks I don't have the maternal instinct to mother. I especially feel that from my MIL, but frankly, I have done a better job than she ever did, so it shouldn't bother me. It does though. There is always going to be someone out there who thinks they do it all better and their smarter, sometimes you just have to say okay. In this instance, if you are a vegetarian, and you want to raise your child a vegetarian, I would consult your pediatrician to be sure you are giving your child all of the vital nutrition they need and then go from there. Forget what other people say, you're the parent.