[awkmom]

We adopted our 4yo DS from Russia just over 2 years ago. It was a difficult adoption (8mo between trips, crazy paperwork) but we love him beyond words. Last October we started the process to adopt our 2nd child. Although we weren't thrilled about the possible 3 trips, costs, possible time between trips, we wanted a sibling with common heritage and so chose Russia again. We finally received a blind referral for a child a couple weeks ago. We were due to leave for trip 1 this past weekend and 20 min before our flight was to leave my DH had a panic attack and could not get on the plane.

We both want a 2nd child very much and we will obviously work to help DH manage his newfound fear of travel but am not sure if this is a realistic expectation or whether he should have to feel pressured to "fix" this in order for us to adopt from Russia. I'm feeling hopeless and sad right now about ever adopting a 2nd child.

In the event Russia does not eventually work out I'm investigating our non-travel options such as domestic, fost/adopt and adopting from Korea. Of course since we've been in this 2nd adoption for almost a year and had hoped to be home with a child fairly soon, the thought of starting over and waiting another 1-2 years is heartbreaking. Anyone else evaluating these options now or recently and any feedback on why and how you made your decision?

Thanks,
awkmom

[SupaModel]

How emotional that must have been for you! Personally I think I would have strangled my husband. I know your not mad at him and I think you're right. I was just sooo adoption crazy I wouldn't let anyone get in my way.

[Linny]

You know....I've flown a lot in years past....and I'm not so sure I could fly so much now!......

At any rate, while I understand your wanting to have a child sharing the same 'heritage' as your first child; not sure I'd carry it to this extent.

If you're looking to adopt internationally, you may want to consider going through some of the African countries. There IS at least one agency I'm aware of that doesn't require you to travel to pick up your baby either.
Just my two-cents....

Sincerely,

Linny

[journeytolily]

The Korean program is excellent, and most agencies still will do escorts (we traveled). My son is 5 now, so we adopted several years ago, but the children are wonderful, the health care and foster care they receive is excellent, and the paperwork is super-easy (no dossier!).

We are now with an agency to do a domestic adoption, after a failed Vietnam adoption. As much as we both love to travel, it will be a relief not having to worry about what to do with our two children (we also have a daughter from Guatemala) while we are halfway around the world!

[Gwen72]

I am sorry DH had a panic attack and you could not go on the trip. They wouldn't let you reschedule the trip since you had a madical problem? I don't understand why you have to start over. If you have to travel again ask your family doc to give DH Xanax. It's an antianxiety medicine. That way he can get on the plane. You are not doomed to never fly again. I love to travel but I hate to fly. The morning of the flight I get nauseated and diarrhea, my heart just pounds and I feel like I can't breath. Since I am a medic, I know it's all in my head and there is nothing wrong with me. If I didn't have that training I would think I was dying. What I do is take two Benadryl which makes me so sleepy I don't have the energy to freak out. Once we land wherever we are going I'm fine and have a wonderful vacation. I hope you work something out and you finally get your baby #2. Good Luck on your adoption journey!

[mommy3]

What a difficult patch for you now. My dh doesn't love to fly but has found now that we have children, that staying busy with them helps him not focus on him, interestingly. I wonder if your dh's concerns relate to your first adoption and all the worries? There are great programs for changing fear of flying in case he/you are interested. Otherwise, consider a domestic adoption? Just a few ideas. . . best of luck, susan