[aclee]

So I have some concerns with our babysitter. First of all, I love her...LOVE her, she's so sweet and she's great, and cloth diapers Ty, and will make him food, and feeds him the food I make. It's great. When we started, her daycare was very small. She had Ty full time and a few other kids that were part time on sort of a rotating basis. Now that winter is coming she said she needed to take on more kids to help cover the high oil bills. I get that, oil prices are crazy and the lady needs to make a living. Unfortunatly, she's taking everything that comes her way, including a LOT of part timers. Today there were 6 kids there, and Ty is the only full timer, but another is starting. Now she e-mails me that she has another full timer she is interviewing. I asked her the ages of the kids, and I just want to run them by you guys. I think she has too much.

Ty (7 months) full time
Part timers: a 14, 16, 18 month old, a 2 year old and a another child I can't recall the exact age of but I beleive somewhere between 18 months and 2 years old.
New full timers: 14 month old and 18 month old

There may or may not be days when she has 8 children 3 and under. I'm not sure what schedule the part timers all keep cause they rotate.

What do you all think? It seems like as she has picked up more kids, she talks about how much Ty loves his playpen and walker...I'm not crazy about that. Does she need to be holding him 24-7, no, but it would be nice if he could be out too...he's not going to learn to crawl in a playpen...

This is already Ty's second sitter because I changed jobs, so I would really not like to change again...I would rather talk with her about it, and then if she can't change the days when there are too many kids, move him maybe T/Th to another sitter...

She had 11 kids, so maybe she doesn't think this is a lot. If she was licensed, she wouldn't be allowed to have this many...I was ok with her not being licensed because she was licensed for so many years, and is such a wonderful caregiver. I just want Ty to get the atttention he deserves...

[lovemy2boys]

Does she have any assistants with her? That just seems like soo many little kids.

My cousin worked in a daycare in the under 2 room, and there was 1 worker for every 4 kids...

That 12-18 month age span is SOO challenging...Times 4? UGH!

I'd talk to her and see what her plans are - if she intends on getting an assistant or not.

If it's just her...well...that just seems like a lot of responsibility for one person. Or two even...

Oh - and the ty in the walker/playpen thing? I see where you're coming from. It wouldn't be fair for him to be "trapped" because she's busy chasing a ton of other kiddies.

[aclee]

No assistant, no plans to get one...I know that much. Some afternoons after 2:00 her high school age daughter is home. Sometimes she has activities too though.

She says she loves to be busy...she had 6 today and the only thing she didn't like was that she couldn't go for their walk. She's trying to buy a stroller that holds 6 so she can still walk. See what I mean, she LOVES what she does. I just can't help thinking....if there was a fire, how on earth would she get them all out? Her back exit is a deck on a steep hill...she could bring them down the back stairs and out through her fathers apartment that is downstairs, but THAT many kids?

I worry.

Originally Posted by lovemy2boys

Does she have any assistants with her? That just seems like soo many little kids.

My cousin worked in a daycare in the under 2 room, and there was 1 worker for every 4 kids...

That 12-18 month age span is SOO challenging...Times 4? UGH!

I'd talk to her and see what her plans are - if she intends on getting an assistant or not.

If it's just her...well...that just seems like a lot of responsibility for one person. Or two even...

Oh - and the ty in the walker/playpen thing? I see where you're coming from. It wouldn't be fair for him to be "trapped" because she's busy chasing a ton of other kiddies.

[2Newmom]

I would definately ask the question about if she is going to have an assistant. You would have to check your states rules but I believe you are correct that if she was licensed she would not be allowed to have so many children under the age of three.

My other concern would be how can she watch that many children and make sure Ty is not going to get hurt? Toddlers are very quick and accidents can happen. I would also not want him in a walker or playpen because she has so many children.

Is she reasonably priced for a sitter? Could she charge more and then take less children. I don't think there is an easy answer just go with your instincts and try talking with her.

2newmom

[jules17]

Whoa.

My sons are 5 months apart (27 months and 22 months) and on a good day, I feel like I could handle 2 more MAX. And that means really attending to them and their needs.

I am sure she is amazing, but she still only has 2 hands, KWIM?

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by aclee

if there was a fire, how on earth would she get them all out? Her back exit is a deck on a steep hill...she could bring them down the back stairs and out through her fathers apartment that is downstairs, but THAT many kids?

I worry.

That was my FIRST thought when I read your post. What if there was a fire? You cannot count on children under 3 years old to follow you and walk on their own in a fire. We're talking about a scary and traumatic situation in which the adults are in a panic because the house is on fire. The kids will be scared. Even in the best circumstances, you can't count on toddlers to listen to you. Heck, Hanna is 3 and I couldn't count on her to follow my directions and get herself out of a fire without me carrying her or at least having her by the arm. You have to be able to carry any child who is too young to follow directions and help himself/herself get out of the house. In Maryland, where I live, it's against the law to have more than 2 children under the age of two because you must be able to get ALL the children out of the home at the same time when there is a fire. You can carry two children and the others must be old enough to walk and follow directions. It doesn't matter if they are full time or part time. And one person cannot care for more than 6 children. And really, you just can't give enough time and attention to each child when you have 4 or 5 infants to care for at the same time -in addition to several toddlers.

I would tell her that she needs to be able to rescue all the children in her care in case of an emergency. If a fast moving fire broke out, ask her how she would get all 3 full-time infants out of the house. Can she carry 3 infants AND get all the part-timers out as well? Has she even thought about it? A licensed daycare home has to have a fire escape plan in place. And there is no way she could take all children (even if she had three infants and no part timers). She'll grab as many kids as she can and she'll run. And if she can come back for the others, I'm sure she'll make the effort. But what if it's too late?

And like the next poster mentioned (I edited my post), ask her what would happen if there was an accident and she had to get one of the children to a hospital. What happens to the other kids?

I understand her being short on cash with winter around the corner-but putting kids lives in danger isn't the answer. Maybe she should get a part-time job in the evenings or weekends when her husband is home. But taking on too many children? It's just an accident waiting to happen. And when you have so many kids that you can't even go for a walk then you know you have too much on your plate.

The last time I needed a new daycare provider, I cried for two weeks! It's hard for us, too, as parents to make the change. Once you find someone good, you want to latch on and hope they'll watch your child forever. It's easy for me to say 'find someone new'. I'm not the one who will have to find someone new. But, if I was in your situation, I don't think I'd be able to concentrate at work because I'd too concerned about what's going on in the daycare. There ARE other good daycare providers out there. They are hard to find-but I'd start looking now. Have you thought about having someone come in your home to watch the baby? My mother worked as a nanny when she first retired. She loved watching the baby and it was a different situation. She wasn't trying to pay her mortgage with the nanny money. You might be able to find a very active stay-at-home woman who would love to take care of Ty at your house. If the person is caring for him because they love kids and love having something to do during the day, the salary might be more negotiable. It might end up being something that is very affordable for you.

I would put an ad on Craiglist for requesting a grandma for the baby to give him lots of attention while you work. You could do your own background check using online nanny forms for fingerprints. And your ad would pull in more mature candidates who are retired or stay-at-home wives, -rather than young people who desperately need the money.

[4everwaiting]

I agree, maybe charge more with less children. I would pay more for a baby sitter, if it meant more one on one attention... Especially the home made baby food and cloth diapering, you know that's extra work!

Fire safety is a good point! What if one of the children were injured and needed to go to the emergency room immediately with no time to call a parent, what would happen to the other kids? Sometimes an ambulance can take time, valuable time you may not have if life threatening injury...

My biggest concern would be a safety issue, that many kiddos with only one adult present. God forbid, what if something happened to the baby sitter?

Gosh, I understand your delimma Aclee!

Hope you find an answer!

S

[aclee]

She is very reasonable, which she feels strongly about because she was once a single mom who needed daycare. My husband and I discussed giving her more money to help her out (another $25 a week) and he did tell her we would give her more each week, to help her out. We went with her because she was so small. I will talk with her more about charging more and having fewer children. She is interviewing the final full time 18 month old in the next few days, so I'm going to talk with her before hand. I don't want her to have more than 2 kids at a time that are not walking (under 15 months) which so far she does. She has Ty, a full time 14 month old and the part time 15 month old. In a month, that would be different. On any one day, I don't want her to have more than 6 kids. I feel like that is reasonable, but still a little much when they are that young. I just e-mailed her with my concerns. I'll let you all know what she says

Originally Posted by 2Newmom

I would definately ask the question about if she is going to have an assistant. You would have to check your states rules but I believe you are correct that if she was licensed she would not be allowed to have so many children under the age of three.

My other concern would be how can she watch that many children and make sure Ty is not going to get hurt? Toddlers are very quick and accidents can happen. I would also not want him in a walker or playpen because she has so many children.

Is she reasonably priced for a sitter? Could she charge more and then take less children. I don't think there is an easy answer just go with your instincts and try talking with her.

2newmom

[lovemy2boys]

Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed that it all works out.

I can imagine how difficult it must be, considering how much you like her...

[mommamarci]

I used to do child care. I had a 3 year old, 2 year old, my 1 year old, and 2 babies. The 3 year old went to preschool three half days. On one of those days, I had a malfunction with my smoke detectors. They began going off during nap time. I got Cameron first (sorry my kid came before all others... insticnt.) The 2 year old followed me and I was able to grab one baby. I did not know why the smoke detectors were going off so I assumed there was a fire somewhere. Before I really had time to panic too much, they quit. I never did figure out how I would have gotten them all out by myself. (One of the detectors had a short.)

I cut back shortly after that and I quit altogether when Spencer came. I NEVER held the other babies other than when I was feeding them. Between preparing meals, feeding kids, cleaning up meals, diapering, pottying, etc. there just was not time to sit and hold babies with that many kids.

I would be VERY uncomfortable with that many kids.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[chrisandaaron]

I just went through something somewhat similar with my sitter. When we started she had my 2 (babies at the time) and maybe one other kid (2 on an occasional basis). Recently there has been a baby boom. She added one new 1yo for a friend. The other "regular" family had a new baby and so did we. That means she sometimes has 6 under the age of 3 (but not always). We had offered to find another sitter for our daughter, but she insisted it was fine. She actually laid out her day for me and usually 2 of the kids are napping at any given time. Plus 2 come early and leave earlier, while mine come later and leave later. I was taking the wait and see approach, but starting to wonder if that was too much. A couple weeks later she informed me ( I hadn't even said anything yet) that she had decided not to have all 6 kids on the same day. The 1yo's mom was flexible, so she would just have him on days she didn't have everyone else. She wanted to have more individual time for each of the kids.

I guess the moral of my story is that if she is really good childcare provider she will limit herself. I would express my concerns, but it probably wouldn' t hurt to wait a little while and see how things work themselves out if you really like her.

[aclee]

I was going to wait and see, but I figured if she was going to still go forward and do one interview, it was better I talked to her about it up front, than let her accept more kids, and then tell her I wasn't happy with her having more. Today was sort of the awakening when I called to talk with her and she said she had 6 kids. Then she told me that a part timer was moving to full time, and then e-mailed me to tell me someone else contacted her about a full time spot.

I know she has let mother's go that didn't work out before, so hopefully my concerns aren't too big an issue to her...if they are, oh well, we'll find someone else...

[danhanan]

I ran a state licensed childcare in my home for 26 years. I was licensed for up to 9 kids. However, of those, I couldn't have more that 6 uder preschool age and of the preschoolers, I couldn't have more than two under 2 yrs old. I don't know why anyone would want to. First and foremost are the safety factors. Secondly, how can you possibly give all of those babies the time and attention they need and deserve.

[boysmom324]

Completely agree with above poster. I respect the fact that you are so happy with her and she loves her job so much- that's so very important. But, the most concerning thing to me is the fact that you said she is not currently licensed. Why not? Especially if she is expanding to so many kids. Can she even NOT be licensed taking care of that many kids? Just curious. I know you said she was licensed in the past, maybe the rules have changed about number of kids, etc since she was licensed and she's not even aware of it. I also totally get the wanting to increase your income, especially with the prices of everything going through the roof. It can't be at the expense of safety, though, especially with little kids. And that may be a real issue. Good luck- what a difficult situation especially since you are so happy with the care she provides your ds otherwise!

[ourdreamcametru]

Check laws in your state as to how many children she is allowed to have! There are limits licensed or not to how many one person can have, each child has to have so much sq footage avalible etc. This is a dangerous situation for one person no matter how many kids she had of her own. Should one get hurt or a fire start she would never be able to take care of them all. I would talk to her and see how much it would take per child if she were to only have Ty and two or three others. I'm in TN and unlicensed I am allowed 4 children other than my own, not sure what that number would be were I licensed since it's been awhile since I checked.