[aclee]

Originally Posted by jules17

Gosh, I sure hope they have modified sex ed since I got it. I was in a roomful of tittering kids who were all so nervous/embarrassed that NO ONE learned anything. Also, when I was in school, it was a "one shot" thing - as in, if you didn't get the info, too bad...our job is done. And I went to one of the top districts in the nation!

As for us, my husband is in medicine and I am psychology. We both read and read and read journals and publications to stay current. I can promise you there will be lots of sex ed going on in this house!

My boys are being raised to respect others, respect animals and respect themselves. **silently hoping and praying** that we are laying a strong foundation for the "mature" years.

I think it has changed. I know kids I have been a Nanny to have started in Kindergarten with a "respect you body" presentation, about saying no to things that are bad for your body. That school district kept the same theme year after year with additional, age appropriate information. We knew when the presentation was going to be and parents were encouraged to speak with their kids that night about what they learned and questions they had. They asked me to stay for that and I did. She had some questions and I think it was a great opening discussion for her about respecting that her body was hers, and she had to make the right choices about her body etc.

When I was in health, (somewhere in 6, 7 or 8th grade) we got a "talk" and then were allowed to submit questions on a piece of paper if we wanted to. So no one would know who was asking. I remember one boy did, and it was a borderline question, like is he serious or being a clown...BUT it could have been answered and then moved on. But the teacher read the question, and then looked closely at the paper and said, I don't know if this is a serious question...this looks like C's handwriting, C is this a serious question you want answered. Of course he turned bright red and said, No...what the heck was the point of being anonymous if that was the way it was going to be treated!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by akcskye

As for HPV...I am not getting my daughter that shot...it hasn't been around long enough to know if it will kill our girls later on.

It's funny you mentioned that. My kids' pediatrician sent a letter stating they not be offering it at their practice. They did, however, give the phone number of the local hospital who will offer the immunization. I plan on bringing it up at Maire-Kate's next appt. I don't want her to be a guinea pig for a new vaccine-but I don't want to put her health at risk if a new vaccine offers real protection with little risk.

[BrockBaby]

Originally Posted by akcskye

And, don't make it look like *I* am a loser for opting my kids out of the class (obviously, this is NOT directed at you personally...think of this as if I was talking to my daughter's school).

I wouldn't think that would make you look like a loser, just that you have it handled. Your kids are lucky that they have a parent that is informed and involved. Others aren't so lucky. I am all for parents being responsible...that's the way it SHOULD be....but sadly it's not. And again I will state that I do not think that they should be saying that it is OKAY to have "safe sex" as it is so called refered to.

I have a friend who didn't allow her girls to participate in halloween activities at school. (not jehovah witness) I went and picked them up a few years, and we went to Chuck E Cheese. Did the girls get made fun of? Actually no. It's just the way things were. What if they did? Well, sometimes we have to take a stand on what we believe is best for our kids...regardless of what others might think. I think the same goes for what this discussion has been about. Sometimes, we aren't going to agree on what is "best" for everyone involved, and at those times it's the parents responsibility to do what is best in their eyes for their child.

[aclee]

Originally Posted by Kat-L

It's funny you mentioned that. My kids' pediatrician sent a letter stating they not be offering it at their practice. They did, however, give the phone number of the local hospital who will offer the immunization. I plan on bringing it up at Maire-Kate's next appt. I don't want her to be a guinea pig for a new vaccine-but I don't want to put her health at risk if a new vaccine offers real protection with little risk.

I don't have any girls yet, so it certainly will be several years before I have a girl of the age to need that, but I would be very curious what he says...keep us updated

[thanksgivingmom]

Kristi, I think it's great that you've taken the initiative with your kids.

As for the HPV vaccine, that's just available, and I believe it will not become a "required" vaccine for a VERY long time, if ever. But that doesn't mean that we can't talk about it's existence.

Having gone through sex ed not THAT long ago I can say that NO teachers EVER taught it as "go out and have sex just use one of these condoms I'm tossing at you!" It's never been taught to me as a morals or values based lesson, and always 100% focused on the health aspect of it. It's not a "how to" class and it's not a free pass to go out and have sex. BUT the reality is that some kids will be having sex! Some kids do not hold religious beliefs that would preclude them from having sex. I personally don't care if kids parents choose for them to not attend the class - as long as they're teaching them as well. But to not provide the class and have it available to those students whose parents don't have the cruels, is a threat to THEIR health.

Until high school, all sex ed was also required to be signed off by the parents. The first non permission slipped sex ed I got was in the eleventh grade. I think they even had a night where parents could go attend the EXACT SAME LECTURE before we had it one night.

My brother pulled his kids from having the 5th grade version and I think the 7th, but I think by 11th grade there are things that students need and DESERVE to know about their own bodies and about the very serious responsibility that they have to protect it.

I think it's GREAT that there are kids whose parents are going to teach them and do a great job at it, but realize that WITHOUT the education in the schools, your kids will likely be going to school with kids that haven't recieved the same (if any) preparation as what your kids have.

[jules17]

Just to give you an idea of my growing up (beyond modesty) and now...

I was giving my sons a bath. Sam pointed to his penis and said "penis." And I said, "Yes...that is your penis."

My mom was aghast. "You're talking about his body parts THIS young?" (he was about 16 months).

Um, yes - I believe "the conversation" starts young. And then continually reinforce it. So no shame is ever associated with it.

[aclee]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

I think they even had a night where parents could go attend the EXACT SAME LECTURE before we had it one night.

Totally forgot till it was mentioned...this was done at my school too, both middle and high school.

I'm sort of a "stats" kind of person. I would like to know the stats on teen pregnancy on schools that teach sex ed vs the ones that don't. I know a lot of things can impact that stat (including what's taught or believed at home) but it would be interesting to see it anyway...

Course sex ed is about more than pregnancy, it's about body health, and STD's and all that too...

[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by BrockBaby

And again I will state that I do not think that they should be saying that it is OKAY to have "safe sex" as it is so called refered to.

Just on a side note, a lot of the current language uses "safer sex" as a way to reiterate that NO sex is completely safe.

I think it's a pretty valid point.

**Oh, and if anyone wants any info on the vaccine or it's development, let me know. It's not pro vaccine propoganda or anything, I don't work for the company that makes it, I just have some info that you can take with a grain of salt if you like **

[BrockBaby]

Thanks for the info! Yes, safer sex, now that I see it typed, I have heard it refered to that as well.

Sometimes I think about "teen pregnancies" and everyones views on it...and it sorta hits home, I wouldn't be here discussing this if a couple of teens didn't have UNsafe sex...

[SuzBerg]

Where I live (Texas) you DO have to have a permission slip to attend Sex-Ed or anything having to do with it. I only have boys so far that have been through the discussions at school. In 5th grade (I think) they have the "your body will be changing, wear deodorant" talk, in 6th grade it's much more detailed but still more about "you" than "you and a girl".

I think something was off when my middle son had the 5th grade talk and he came home and told me "I'm not going to date a girl in Texas, cause San Antonio has a huge number of teen pregnancies" ...uhm ......the teacher did NOT explain that just dating does not cause a girl to get pregnant. Yeah I redid the "where babies come from" talk with him that his dad already had with him at that instant in the car with his older brother just dying of embarrasment next to me.

In 8th grade I FORGOT to turn in the permission slip so my oldest son did not attend the class he went to the Library or something else. I told him I would call the school and take the slip in so he could go and he said "That's okay mom I already know that stuff - dad told me".

I have no idea what the HS curriculm involves because my son is just having Health this year (I assume that's where they teach Sex-ED) as a senior (1st year he could fit it in his schedule and he has to have it to graduate).

I know here you can review what is discussed in any of these classes at any of the grade levels AND you can chose for YOUR child not to attend if any of the curriculm is uncomfortable to you or you disagree with what is being taught.

I agree that it is not my right to say what other kids should be taught and if I wanted to ONLY teach my kid at home I wouldn't sign the permission slip. But I think it's good for me to discuss it with them and for them to learn from an educator or school nurse at school as well. I actually think abstinence is taught as the only true means of "safe-sex" but it seems like other options are discussed as well.

Just my 2 cents on the whole discussion.

[lovemy2boys]

I was picking up my friends kids from the elementary school last spring, and there were a group of moms talking...

One mom said that her 4th grade daugter asked where babies came from....

Her mom told her by magic...

This is the type of thing that worries me. Where a young, impressionable girl gets the "magic" answer.

I butted in and said "Why would you say that to her?" and her mom said "Because I'm not ready to have that talk with my daughter - I don't think I'll EVER be ready" and I said "Well, you BETTER be ready because one day, your 4th grader will be an 8th grader with no knowledge of her body or sex."

My friend told me that this woman had a very bad upbringing and has severe issues when it comes to things like this...It kind of touches upon what Fadzi said a few posts pack about how a person's raised can affect parenting...

So unfortunately, if the school doesn't teach this girl about sex ed, chances are some boy will...sad, really.

[crick]

Kristi - That's what makes you a responsible parent...you do your research on what your schools are teaching and then make the informed decision for your kids.

I opted my 6th grader out of the D.A.R.E program they do an extensive 9 week course on. I did this after looking into how they do the program, what's entailed and after talking to my son about it. I didn't go into detail about it and got the "Oh, you really need to reconsider" from his teacher. I made that decision in HIS best interests and no body can make me feel bad about that.

At our school, you are informed of the Sex Ed classes and are given a form if you want to opt OUT of it. If you don't send that form in, they include your child in the class. Any school who blindsides a parent on this issue needs to revamp their process.

I'll say though that a lot of the "education" my kids get on this one comes from other kids and on the bus. That's why I don't understand parents who do NOT talk to their kids about this stuff because if they knew of the stuff their kids are "learning"...egads!!
I didn't want to have the "Why do boys stick their tongues in girl's mouth" discussion with my child just yet but thanks to her hearing about it on the bus, I had no choice. UGH! lol.

[aclee]

Originally Posted by SuzBerg

In 8th grade I FORGOT to turn in the permission slip so my oldest son did not attend the class he went to the Library or something else. I told him I would call the school and take the slip in so he could go and he said "That's okay mom I already know that stuff - dad told me".

I think it's great that your son was intelligent enough to have that response ready...I also think that parents should be able to teach their kids and not have the school teach their kids in this "permission slip" sort of way...but know what you are opting your kids out of so you can be sure you are covering it at school. School will go more into the sex ed in relation to school that you might. You might cover the "safer" or NO sex, and STD's etc, but don't forget to cover how to deal with things that come "up" for boys at school...locker rooms, showers, teasing about size...all that. I know schools cover that, so parents should be covering it at home if they are going to opt out of school "teachings"...I personally think that schools are more aware of what's going on at THAT school and can adjust their sex ed accordingly. Are you going to know that's it's common in certain schools for teen boys to buy ****** and try it out? Maybe not, but the teachers will and could address it in sex ed...

I think the fact that your son was comfortable not being part of the group, and knew his father went over it with him already (and had that response ready clearly if he was teased about not being "allowed" in sex ed) is great, and really shows a sign of maturity.

When were seperated for sex ed in the younger grades (5th) the boys LOVED their sex ed class and the girls were horrified...Course the female teacher that did it was about 90, and the male teacher was in his 30's maybe younger, so I'm sure it was more comfortable for the boys than it was for us...As the youngest of 4 girls, by 5th grade I was like...seriously? It was like teaching a second grader 1st grade spelling...but there was a girl in the class that started crying at one point and the nurse brought her out...

[crystalp]

I have a little girl in first grade, and I'm getting ready to have the talk with her. DH NEVER had "the talk" with his parents, and I was horrified at what he didn't know. I told him that our kids would not be that way.

[feelingreyt]

I have to agree that this generation is raising a bunch of rude kids. I'm not sure if it's because some parents are too lazy or if they, themselves, are just rude and the kids are learning by example.
Take a kids soccer game for example, the way some of the parents yell and scream if another child misses the goal. Or God help the coach if he sits their kid out for a few minutes!
This even happens in Church. When my dh and I were youth leaders we had about 15-20 preteens and teens in our group. It took some time but we finally started getting their respect. Well one day we had a lady, who was a regular member, bring her grandson. He was so rude and disruptive. I kept asking him to sit down and he refused. Mind you, he was 13! He told me he didn't like to sit. He kept wondering around the room. How can we control 15 students if 1 is acting like that? Not possible. So after about 10 warnings, we sent him out to sit with his grandma. Talk about mad! I got an ear full right after church. She accused us of treating him like a dog! I was like, I am so sorry you feel that way, but we have to have some control over the kids or there will be no order and no one will learn a thing! She was just mad, stormed out like a fool. Can you imagine what that taught the grandchild? PLEASE! Well, she did bring him back pretty often after that. Of course we let him come to class again and guess what, he sat down and was respectful to the class! I always tried to be really nice to him after that because I wanted him to know that just because his behavior was bad that one time, did not mean that we didn't care about him.
By the way, his grandma is still just as rude and just as annoying and I seriously doubt that this child shows any respect in the home because none is given!
I would imagine that school teachers have stories about parents that would make my skin crawl! Some are just too rude and ignorant themselves to teach their children anything.
JMO!