[ChromaKelly]

E-mom could go any day, and I just can't get excited. It's like I'm afraid to think that it's real. She did decide not to be induced, which of course I respect her decision, but it put a finality on the waiting (well at least this portion of the waiting). I think in adoption, everyone keeps telling you about the negatives, and to keep your guard up, that I can't allow myself to feel happy about it. Even on here, if someone announces they are matched, the responses include "yes, but remember e-mom could change her mind, etc". I can't even really think of names!

I think part of it too is that I am sad about having to leave the girls with my parents. It's just not practical to bring them with us for the trip. I have never been away from them longer than overnight, and of course I trust my parents, but I'm going to miss them.

Anyway, sorry if I'm rambling.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by ChromaKelly

E-mom could go any day, and I just can't get excited. It's like I'm afraid to think that it's real. She did decide not to be induced, which of course I respect her decision, but it put a finality on the waiting (well at least this portion of the waiting). I think in adoption, everyone keeps telling you about the negatives, and to keep your guard up, that I can't allow myself to feel happy about it. Even on here, if someone announces they are matched, the responses include "yes, but remember e-mom could change her mind, etc". I can't even really think of names!

I think part of it too is that I am sad about having to leave the girls with my parents. It's just not practical to bring them with us for the trip. I have never been away from them longer than overnight, and of course I trust my parents, but I'm going to miss them.

Anyway, sorry if I'm rambling.

No good advice-just want to send . Will say a prayer for you all--

[ourdreamcametru]

My thought on adoption is the same as being pregnant, I've done both. Every child deserves to have people be happy about it's impending arrival, if you were pregnant you could just as easily lose the child to miscarriage or sickness after birth. I think to keep from driving yourself, and everyone around you LOL crazy, you have to be happy and celebrate the up coming birth of your child. Should the pbp decide to parents then you should also give yourself permission to morn the loss just the same. Just think that if everything turns out you will have memories of feeling down and worried instead of excited and happy during this time. My suggestion is to cook meals that can be frozen, clean, sleep, shop and anything else you would normally do while awaiting the birth of a child this way our are keeping your kind occupied and you won't worry as much. Also, spend as much time as you can with your daughters since this will most likely be the end of them being your only children!

[goldeneagle]

good luck xxx Hope all goes well I suppose in a way when I was giving birth to my first child I never got attatched until he was born. Not having a medical history I thought all sorts. However once I saw the child the excitement kicked in. My Adoptive mum only allowed herself to get excited when I were dotted a t crossed. By the my Amum is an angel she is fantasticxxxxxxxxx

[ChromaKelly]

Every child deserves to have people be happy about it's impending arrival, if you were pregnant you could just as easily lose the child to miscarriage or sickness after birth

Hmmm.. not to be all psychoanalyzing myself, but maybe this is part of it too. The birth experience of the girls was horrible and traumatic. I went in for a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks, expecting everything to be fine, and it ended with Ainsley nearly dying and being rushed to another hospital and only getting to see her for a brief moment (I didn't see her again for four days), and me wondering what was going on with my babies for most of the day. I lost a ton of blood and almost needed a transfusion. Sooo.. the last time I was due to have a baby(ies), it didn't go so hot.

[ourdreamcametru]

This could very well be playing a part in the way you are feeling and that is VERY understanding!

[mygrl4meee]

Is it normal for emoms to be induced? That is the worst pain, I have ever had during my labors with my children. I would hope no one would do it, just to make the planning easier.
I wish you luck whichever way it goes.

[ChromaKelly]

Is it normal for emoms to be induced? That is the worst pain, I have ever had during my labors with my children. I would hope no one would do it, just to make the planning easier.

No, she was planning on being induced because it would be like a week over her due date, not to make our planning easier. Ugh, I'm not that kind of person!

It was just like mentally, there was an end to the waiting. I am completely supportive of her not being induced if she doesn't want that.

[mygrl4meee]

Sorry if my question came off rude. I didn't mean it to be. Stay busy so you don't drive yourself up a wall!

[feelingreyt]

I believe what you are feeling is very normal. I also think that it's possible you could be very scared for emom and baby because of what you went through with the birth of the twins.
I had a very complicated delivery with my 1st child. I had to have emergency c-section, lost a lot blood(received 5 units of blood, I literally almost bled to death). Luckily my dd was perfectly healthy. Anyway, when I was preg with our 2nd child I was scared to death of what the delivery was going to be like. Dh was too. But thankfully it was very uncomplicated and easy!
So I can sort of relate to that part of your situation.
Also, just not knowing what the future holds for you and this baby is hard. It's scary. It's a mixture of complicated emotions. Yeah, I can see why you are feeling somewhat reserved about it all.
And then, of course, knowing you will have to leave the girls. That is hard. But, the time will fly by while you are gone and you know that your mom will take very good care of them. Yes, you will miss them, but think how sweet it will be when you get home!
That being said.....Try to let it all go. Just live in the moment. Rejoice in the baby's arrival! Stay busy! Clean the house, even if it's clean, clean it again! You know you won't have much time for that soon enough! Take the girls out for ice cream or some kind of special treat!
My thoughts are with you. Good luck to emom, baby and your family.

[Tigger2]

ChromaKelly~ I know I was trying to be cautious before we got the call, but once we did I couldn't help being excited. Yes, there was still part of me that was a little scared, too. Eventhough we did have a couple of tense moments before TPR was signed, we just tried to stay positive.

Hugs to you as you wait! Allow yourself to feel a little excitement!!!!

[mommamarci]

It's normal. Both my kids were baby born situations. I was excited to get the call and I was nervous, but I was not super excited. We got the call about Cameron on a Thursday, met him Sunday. Spencer we got the call on Tuesday, met him Thursday. I was able to sleep on the nights between getting the call and meeting baby. For me it just seemed surreal until babe was in my arms. Once they were each placed in my arms, I wanted to shout it from the moutaintops!

[OakShannon]

I wonder if another reason you are having a hard time getting excited is because there have been a few ups and downs since you first got the call. You had questions about the agency handling the adoption, right? And then you've been nervous about something happening so that the baby won't be placed with you. I think it's possible that there have been so many emotions in the last week or so that you're having a hard time really embracing the idea that this is going to happen.

I have no doubt that you will be excited when your baby is in your arms and you know that he or she is coming home with you. Until then, just be kind to yourself. This may be the way you are coping right now. Don't worry that somehow you are doing it "wrong."

[ChromaKelly]

Sorry if my question came off rude. I didn't mean it to be. Stay busy so you don't drive yourself up a wall!

That's OK, it just caught me off guard.

I wonder if another reason you are having a hard time getting excited is because there have been a few ups and downs since you first got the call.

That's true too. It's like everything during a normal month or two match has been compacted into a little over a week. Yeah, I did have some uneasiness about the facilitator, as I read a bunch of negative feedback, but honestly, everything's been fine with them.