[BlessedbySnuggs]

Just something I was thinking about. I know there are always people on here looking for reputable agencies/facilitators/lawyers that people would recommend, and I thought it would be good to get everyone's feedback. Of course, I know you can't post stuff about specific agencies and such. Still thought it would be fun to hear everyone's experiences and PM info if needed.

Would you use your agency/facilitator/lawyer again?
As a whole, how was your process?
Did you complete your adoption the first time you were matched? Were there any failed matches due to the agency maybe not giving enough counseling or enough support to either end?
Agency fees? Do you think the fees they charged were reasonable (as reasonable as adoption fees can be anyway)

I'll go first...

We LOVED our facilitator and had the best experience with the adoption process as a whole. Our facilitator and her staff were always there for us; weekends, holidays, and all hours of the night. They responded to every e-mail and if they didn't answer right away we would always get a call back within a couple of hours. We were very lucky, in that we had a very smooth process (good facilitator, our wait time was short, and of course, came home with the most amazing, beautiful, little girl in the whole, wide world!!!!!) ETA: I thought the fees we paid were pretty reasonable. I have seen less and I have seen more, but again, I would not trade our personal experience for the world. We would not hesitate to use our facilitator again...hopefully in a few years!!!!!

ETA (again) Not sure, if there was enough counseling to either partys regarding the open adoption process. We read some information on-line, and just kind of went with it. ....in saying that though, we (us and M's birthmom) have come pretty far. We still have things to work on, but that will probably be the case for quite some time. I am grateful for the relationship that we do have (even in all of it's inperfections)

Please share your experiences....if you want too!

[loveajax]

My answer is a little nuanced. There were many things about the agency I DID like...established, nonprofit, fees only post placement, good counseling for emoms. But we worked with the WORST SW there (she worked EXTREMELY parttime, did not return calls, etc.). Their OA "counseling" was nil and I felt they really let us and DD's birth parents down in that regard. Also, they created additional "drama" for us that was unnecessary. Also, the agency director was leaving and basically had "checked out."

I do really like the new agency director so my feelings now are different. Though there is no way in heck we could ever afford their current fees of $29K! Ack!

[HeidiK]

Loved both of experiences - the 1st time around we went thur 5 SW before placement and they tend to hire - newbies and then a year later they are off in search of less hours and more money. That said the director has been there for ever and I would trust them again - fees are sliding scale based on income. 2nd agancy - hands down - would use them again. Can't say enough great things about them

[fisbaby]

Would it be against forum rules to at least post the state you went through and if your agency/ facilitator worked with people outside the state? I know we can't mention agency/facilitator names but atleast if someone, like me, saw what a good experience you had I would know to PM you for more details or if it's in another state we couldn't use anyway. I think this could be a VERY good thread!!

[Tracey33]

Throughout our adoption process, we've dealt with several different entities.
Our local agency is very small, doesn't do many adoptions through the year, etc. I have mixed feelings about them, and probably would not recommend them, though there were some really nice things about them.
We dealt with 3 referral services. One was absolutely fantastic, would highly recommend them. One, we didn't deal with much, and I don't have an opinion on them. The third, I would discourage people from using. I got the feeling that they work with too many agencies to be able to keep tabs on them, to ensure that they're working only with agencies that are ethical and trustworthy.
We worked briefly with a very large agency - were refered to them by the 3rd referral service. Were told that a baby was ours, ran around over the weekend getting things ready, getting physicals and HS update, just generally getting all the paperwork that they needed. They called on that Monday to say that they had decided that the baby wasn't a good match for our family. In my opinion, that agency acted unethically. They told us that the baby was ours before ever seeing our homestudy. They had an issue where the baby was in foster care, and the foster mom had to leave the state for a few days, and couldn't take baby with her, so he had to be placed with his forever family, or transition to another foster family. We were having trouble figuring out how we were going to get there in time, but were trying to work something out. DH is convinced that they had a family in their state show interest in the baby, and it was just easier to work with them, than it was to work with us, out of state. I'm sure there are people who have had a great experience with this agency, but I would say, stear clear of this one.

We have our baby girl now, through our small local agency. If we ever decide to adopt again (DH says no - not after this roller coaster ride), we'd be on the market for a new agency.

[icunurse]

Mixed feelings after 2 adoptions through the same agency. The first time around, it was a whirlwind of activity (homestudy, classes, etc) and we had a great SW. Other than we would roll our eyes a bit at some of the things the agency said or did ("fluffy" words, not offensive), it was a decent experience. We felt great mostly about the support and education that emoms received. We are in an open adoption and our son's bmom told us about how the agency worked with her, what they had her do to prepare, etc.

Second time around, we started off with one SW and then we were switched to another. She never kept in contact with us and my feeling is that for all the fees that we pay, is it really too much to ask for a monthly update via email from her (especially since it was promised several times)? Then, we had a match and literally 2 days before picking up the baby, we recived "new" health info that changed everything and we backed out of the situation after several weeks and match meetings. Makes you feel really good to have to do that. Oh, and we were called several times to request that we speak directly with the bmom and her family to tell them why we were backing out, but "to not get too specific". Um, no....our hearts were broken and did I mention that we pay fees for a reason? Next up, we had another family plagarize our online profile and our agency said that since there aren't copyright laws for online profiles, they couldn't do anything. So, I called up the chain of command with complaints until they agreed with us that it was morally wrong on two levels - plagarism is wrong and when an emom has to pick a family based on writings, shouldn't those writings at least be those of the family?! The online profile was changed, but we seriously doubt the agency did anything about the written profiles. At this point, we wanted to get info about international adoption and the SW kept getting us info on the wrong country. Then, we received a letter on a Thursday saying her last day was Friday. So, another SW....but a good one. She promptly answered any emails we had, kept us posted without needing to be prompted, listened and was just NICE about things. In our eyes, she saved the whole experience. But, again, after our DD was placed with us, we were grateful for the servives and counseling that our agency provided to both our DD and her bmom.

So, would I recommend them? Yes, without a doubt to eparents, for the great counseling and services they provide. They don't pressure, they won't allow a pacement if their is ANY uncertainly, they provide supprt after placement or if the emom decides to parent. For paparents, I would say to remember that they are a business (even though non-profit) and to consider yourself the last concern of the triad. Use your resources with any info (call your pediatrician or the agency's docs with questions or for clarification - do not take their work about things; not to be rude, but they are SW's not medical people and tend to not know more about medical issues than the average layperson). If something doesn't sound right or make sense - question it. And remember that they are there for you, too....we often didn't want to "be a bother" and then we felt walked over....we should have stuck up more for ourselves.

We would love to adopt another child and, as I said, we'd recommend them, but we personally would never use them again.

[BrandyHagz]

I am going to ask that those of you who have posted locations, please go back and remove them.

Those who can't remove them, I will delete the post and you can repost.

This thread is a slippery slope – if you want to comment on your experience with an adoption professional, that is ok – but no other identifying information (even if there are 2948202 facilitators in California) can be posted, at all.

For the sake of our volunteers who would love to spend this holiday weekend with their families – keep the rules in mind

[aclee]

Sorry Brandy I thought we could post locations! I've referred to the agency in I used in XX location before...sorry!

[BrandyHagz]

No worries. I know a lot of thought went into your LONG post.

I'll send you a copy for editing and you can repost

[aclee]

Oh thanks...I saw it was gone and I was like...OH Heck no...I'm not doing that again

Here is my "proper post"...

We worked with three agencies, so I'll comment on all of them, though not every question applies to each one.

Agency #1: Matched us only.
Would you use your agency/facilitator/lawyer again? NO.
As a whole, how was your process? Guilt Ridden
Did you complete your adoption the first time you were matched? Were there any failed matches due to the agency maybe not giving enough counseling or enough support to either end? Yes, completed first time were matched. They gave no support after they made the match.
Agency fees? Do you think the fees they charged were reasonable (as reasonable as adoption fees can be anyway)...as a "match" fee...it was very high.

Agency #2: Agency for bfamily support and cradle care
Would you use your agency/facilitator/lawyer again? In a heart beat
As a whole, how was your process? As smooth as anyone could expect
Did you complete your adoption the first time you were matched? Were there any failed matches due to the agency maybe not giving enough counseling or enough support to either end? They assisted in completing the match. It was our only match.
Agency fees? Do you think the fees they charged were reasonable (as reasonable as adoption fees can be anyway) Very reasonable

Agency #3: Home study and post placement
Would you use your agency/facilitator/lawyer again? I think so
As a whole, how was your process? OK. There were times when I felt like I had to nudge the HS process a lot though.
Did you complete your adoption the first time you were matched? Were there any failed matches due to the agency maybe not giving enough counseling or enough support to either end? They did not assist in matching, only HS and post placement.
Agency fees? Do you think the fees they charged were reasonable (as reasonable as adoption fees can be anyway) They were on the high side for our area.

Attny for legals:
Would you use your agency/facilitator/lawyer again? YES.
As a whole, how was your process? Amazing...she's a great lady
Did you complete your adoption the first time you were matched? Were there any failed matches due to the agency maybe not giving enough counseling or enough support to either end? She didn't match, us only handled legals in court
Agency fees? Do you think the fees they charged were reasonable (as reasonable as adoption fees can be anyway) her fees were as reasonable as attny fees can be I guess


Hope that is okay Brandy...if not, 40 lashes for me!

[Eponine]

Would you use your agency/facilitator/lawyer again?
Yes - our agency and our lawyer were both great.

As a whole, how was your process?
Up and down - overall pretty good but it's never easy.

Did you complete your adoption the first time you were matched?
No

Were there any failed matches due to the agency maybe not giving enough counseling or enough support to either end?
I don't think our match failed because the woman didn't receive enough counseling. However, our CW didn't do a very good job keeping us grounded about it - so that was our one complaint with the agency.

Agency fees? Do you think the fees they charged were reasonable (as reasonable as adoption fees can be anyway)
Fairly reasonable - flat rate, only thing paid up front was to cover the homestudy, then no more until TPR was done.

[slugbug0930]

The agency turned out to be good. The first birth parent coordinator/SW really kind of dropped the ball and didn't help us much. I think perhaps because we came to them through the bmom as an identified match. Maybe they had other plans for DD already or they perhaps they just had lots of couples waiting.....I don't know. But she didn't return calls or send us the paperwork she was supposed to. It took several more calls to DD's bmom's SW at the agency to get reassigned to someone who cared as much as bmom's SW and who wanted to work with us to make it work.

Once we got reassigned everthing went great and the process went smoothly. I can't say great enough things about the people we worked with.

The fees were high or at least to me they seem that way. Even with the agency waiving fees for matching and the homestudy fee (we were in a different state and had to get a local SW for that).....it was still over $17K. Then we had to pay a lawyer to finalize all the court stuff for about another $1K. Plus our local homestudy fee of $700. Definitely not cheap.....but still it wasn't $30K so it could have been more I guess

No real counseling was provided for us......I don't think much was really provided for DD's bmom either.