[finallyamom0310]

I have seen so many threads about children not looking like their parents and how many rude or uncalled for comments they get so I thought I would see if anyone has a situation like ours. DD looks so much like us BMom has even commented she has to look hard for a resemblance to her instead of us. I also had a neighbor that we are close with her daughter comment yesterday when she saw me and DD together how uncanny it is that we look so much alike. I love hearing this but don't want to take away DD's BMom.

This is not a thread to discount her / their biology. I just merely want to know if there are other families out there where their children look more like them and so the adoption story can really be up to the child to tell if they want to.

[Casey677]

Not in our case. But then again my bio dd looks nothing like me either, lol.

[loveajax]

I have a picture of my DD "playing" the piano as the screensaver on my computer. I have a new secretary who came in and asked if that was a picture of me as a child. Since DD is biracial, I never expected people to think she looks like me...but I get it all the time (we both also have double dimples on both cheeks). Even the nurse in the delivery room couldn't believe it!!

They say that when people live together they can start to look alike (people sometimes ask if DH and I are brother and sister!) so maybe that's how it happens? It's weird how many a parent friends I have whose kids really resemble them.

I never expected it, but I would be lying if I said I didn't "enjoy" it (since DD, unlike me, is absolutely beautiful!).

[Fran27]

Some people have said that mine look like me... DS definitely more though.

[BlessedbySnuggs]

All the time! Everytime we are out, someone comments on how much we look alike. She looks more like me than DH.

The other day at the mall, DH, myself and DD were out shopping and this lady stopped us and smiled at DD and said "There's no denying who that child belongs too" Dh and I just smiled and laughed.

[Saya]

I don't think A looks particularly like me, though if she and I are out without DH some people assume maybe my husband is Latino rather then assume she must have been adopted. The transracial thing makes us conspicious, even if it's not always clear what the background is.

But what's funny is that A looks a LOT like her cousin S - DH's brother's son, who is bi-racial CC/Asian. We had a photo of A on our fridge, and then we got S's first birthday photos and put them on the fridge as well, and immediately started freaking out about how much they look alike. Same nose, same cheeks, same smile. (Of course that's just in one set of photos - the live on the other side of the country so we haven't seen them in a while. Probably when we see them again in person it won't be quite the same, but it's kind of fun anyway!)

[HappyTwinsMom]

Oh my goodness, EVERYBODY thinks our girls look exactly like DH. I think it's the coloring more than anything...dark hair, dark eyes, skin that tans REALLY easily. I'm definitely the oddball with my fair skin and light blue eyes.

The weird thing is we will most likely be getting b-mom's two youngest (thru the state) and everyone who looks at their pictures says how much they resemble ME. They both have fair skin, light hair and blue eyes.

Someone once said that perhaps (in open adoption) b-moms choose families - subconsciously - who resemble them and that's why the children resemble their adoptive parents so much. I wonder if that might be true?

[SupaModel]

I really don't think DS looks like me and definitely not DH but when we are all together no one assumes he's adopted. One of my neighbors say he looks like me but I thinl she says that because we are both AA.

[RobinKay]

Ds looks like my dh and like our oldest son. Ds was our nephew before the adoption--but both dh and my BIL were adopted!

[nikkianni]

Originally Posted by HappyTwinsMom

Someone once said that perhaps (in open adoption) b-moms choose families - subconsciously - who resemble them and that's why the children resemble their adoptive parents so much. I wonder if that might be true?

In our case it is exactly true. The only reason DD's bparents went into our full online profile was because they thought DD looked so much like DH.
They opened the full profile, read about us, and the rest is history.
DD really does look like DH. They are both fair with blue eyes. Both turn white-blond in the summer and tan beautifully.
More than that though, DD has the same off center dimple in her chin, the same cheekbones and the same face shape as DH. From day one, they have also slept in the same position. I have a picture of DH and DD in the recliner together when DD was three days old. Both have their heads turned to the left with their right arm thrown up over their heads. That's how they always sleep.
So to the OP, we get that DD looks like DH ALL the time. I occasionally hear that she has my nose or smile, but that's about it.

[trixila]

Some people use the phrase "look-alike-family" to describe certain adoptive families. In our case, it is uncanny how much our children resemble my husband and myself. While we did not request to be matched according to physical characteristics, it has worked out for us. Both of my children have special needs, and it has been one less challenge to have them pegged as 'troubled adoptees' upon first impression. A bonus is my son really resembles his maternal grandmother, who has some wonderful qualities. My daughter's birthmother requested that the agency select a family for her newborn. We were next in line to receive a placement.

[aallen25]

We've been told a few times DD looks like both DH and myself or just one of us. I personally don't see it though.

Now when I was younger I babysat for a family that had two kids who were adopted...I didn't know at the time. The daughter in that family was the spitting image of her father. When I learned of her adoption I almost didn't believe it!

[Vogi2002]

Originally Posted by SupaModel

I really don't think DS looks like me and definitely not DH but when we are all together no one assumes he's adopted. One of my neighbors say he looks like me but I thinl she says that because we are both AA.

hahahahaha!!! There are SO MANY PEOPLE that think my kids look alike (sorry folks, but most of these are white people, don't mean to generalize) and I KNOW it is because they are both AA. Now there are people that still say it, and they talk about certain features, etc. But I always get a giggle when people start in on it & I want to say "well beyond thier deep chocolatey brown skin...nope!! Hahahahahaha! I'm still laughing!!!

[makarios79]

My kids look nothing like me at all....

[Stormster]

Nothing like me but maybe a bit like DH (and definitely like my sister in law) but if anyone sees the three of us together it's obvious we adopted him because DH and I have brown eyes and DS has blue.