[finallyamom0310]

So DD is a very demanding and impatient person. Last night she didn't want to leave school as she was in the swing and wasn't done. I promised her that we would go home and go to the park to swing. That bought me time to get her in the car before her melt down. When we get home she expects to just go to the park. I try to explain we just need to let me change my shoes (I am in dress clothes and heals from work) and then we can go. She is so upset till she sees that I meant what I said and change shoes and walk out the door. Thankfully it is a safe neighborhood, no time to lock up.

When we get home, it is now 6:30 and way past time for dinner so meltdown city till dinner is served. This happens almost every night these days so she gets what is quick and easy, sandwich and fruit. Not the worst she could eat of course but no time for me to even attempt to cook a nice meal.

Can anyone suggest how to teach a toddler to be patient?

[aclee]

I don't know, but if anyone has the magic potion for a 7 month old I would take that too. He wakes up, makes one strechy, fuss noise and I have to hit the ground running, cause that was the count down from 5 to a total melt down like we've never fed the boy before in his life. EVER. It's amazing...pulling out hair, scratching your face. It stinks.

[crystalp]

If anyone has the way to teach patience, I would love it. My 4 year old DD is SO impatient, she starts throwing a fit before she even finishes the request!

[nikkianni]

I'd be happy for any ideas too. DD has turned from a sweet, patient little doll to Madame I Wanted that Yesterday with Fries!
What makes it worse is that she's still not very verbal, so on top of the screaming fit we have to play 20 questions.

[crystalp]

I'm glad to know it's not just my kid!

[ChromaKelly]

I don't think an 18 month old really understands that much of Mommy needs to change clothes and all that yet. It seems to work much better to have a little bit of a warning time of a transition and to somehow keep them occupied when you have to do those necessary things between activities, like go to the bathroom. I'm not above giving a little snack or turning the TV on so I can run to the bathroom, throw some clothes on, etc before we leave.
As for transitions (the classic carrying a screaming toddler away from the playground scenario), it helps to give some warning and making the leaving time absolute. Three more pushes on the swing and then we are leaving, and count it down. If they know they can whine and cry for more time, they will do it.

[makarios79]

I don't know either, but when you figure it out..PLEASE let me know..lol I have 2 very impatient toddlers...

Originally Posted by finallyamom0310

So DD is a very demanding and impatient person. Last night she didn't want to leave school as she was in the swing and wasn't done. I promised her that we would go home and go to the park to swing. That bought me time to get her in the car before her melt down. When we get home she expects to just go to the park. I try to explain we just need to let me change my shoes (I am in dress clothes and heals from work) and then we can go. She is so upset till she sees that I meant what I said and change shoes and walk out the door. Thankfully it is a safe neighborhood, no time to lock up.

When we get home, it is now 6:30 and way past time for dinner so meltdown city till dinner is served. This happens almost every night these days so she gets what is quick and easy, sandwich and fruit. Not the worst she could eat of course but no time for me to even attempt to cook a nice meal.

Can anyone suggest how to teach a toddler to be patient?

[aclee]

Sounds like like this might just be a case where we're asking how to deal with KIDS, not "impatient" kids

[mommy3]

I totally agree that all children just start out "me directed" -- it's really all about them. Everything that I've read and tried just focuses on the fact that toddlers are being socialized -- yuck, so that's just what we go through. I'm big on advanced warnings, even before we get somewhere, about what's going to be the deal. When I arrive to pick my children up from care, I remind them that I'll give them 5 or 10 min. to say goodbye to everything or finish. I let them know what's happening next. We try to look forward to the next thing, which generally helps a transition, although never helps when I'm leaving if my dd wants me to stay, booo hooo, so sad; it's really a tear jerker sometimes. Most of all, structure helps along with the warnings. In due time (wish I knew how long that was for each child. . .), they begin to realize that you always do go back to the park, get your clothes changed, come through on the deals that you set. Sometimes I have to say, "if there's no crying, then we get to X" -- whatever the next fun thing is. Sometimes that doesn't work at all. However, I can say, that with my youngest dd now at 2-3/4, we're in the 80% much less drama world now, whew. susan

[Saya]

If you knew how to teach a toddler patience, you could write a book and make a million dollars! I'd buy it!

[JenC]

Our kids are the same age, and the swing is the cause of many tantrums because it's just SO. MUCH. FUN. What's worked lately is telling him "5 more minutes (I know, he doesn't know what that means yet) and then we're all done with swinging". Then after that, I give him a couple good hard pushes and tell him "when the swing stops, it's time to get down". Lately it's worked with minimal/no tears.

I know there will be people who won't agree with our way of parenting, but me personally, I just would have come home and had dinner first, then maybe go to the park after instead of throwing the evening schedule out of whack. I'm not saying you didn't do it right, (no parenting criticism here!), but just what I would have done.

(hugs) I think all our 1-2 year olds are this way. If you can figure out a way to teach them to be patient, you'll make millions!

[Whirled_Peas]

By example.

Be patient, she'll learn it when she's supposed to.

[mommmmy]

It's definitely a developmental ages and stages thing.

Routine, warnings, etc are all good techniques. Also calmness on the part of parents, being aware of what's going on, etc all helps. For example - are they over tired, hungry, whatever when we try to go for that one more errand? That's a set up for failure and expecting too much for their age and stage.

Sounds to me on the OP that the child is hungry in the beginning and probably rather tired. I would go with the giving her a snack. Low blood sugar can do awful things.

Something I found really helpful were these little books: Your Two Year Old by Ames et all (they have them for each year) I don't necessarily agree with many of the discipline ideas they give...but the age/stage info is pretty good. I can remember reading the book of the appropriate age and then the one ahead and thinking AHA no wonder. I don't know...for me it really helped.