[SupaModel]

I'm watching Hard knocks with DH and there is this Cowboys defense line backer named DeMarcus Ware and his wife who just adopted a baby. I feel you never really see AA couples who adopt CC babies. I think it's very refreshing actually.

I googled him and I saw all this articles asking why would they do this? All the AA babies out there and they adopted a CC girl. It must be because of his money etc... What about love? And why can't I adopt a CC child if I wanted too? Very interesting!

When we first thought about adoption DH and I seriously talked about going to Russia. I admit I was worried because I have friends who have bio biracial children and strangers asked them if they are the nanny. I could just imagine in my neighborhhod being the only AA with a CC child. I would definitely be seen as the nanny!

[KarynB]

Ok, first off I need to say OMG he is GORGEOUS!!!!!! But don't tell my DH I said that (-: The picture of him holding his baby girl is just really beautiful.

I imagine they are going to get ALOT of comments about this. And isn't it sad that this is so unusual?

And we were asked a few times while in South Africa if we were taking care of the maids children. Um, yeah, ok - I am breastfeeding my maids baby, sure. I heard one comment where someone said to the new family "oh, what an adorable future gardener you have there". Ouch. But we've never heard stuff like that since being home...at least not to our face, anyways!

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by KarynB

Ok, first off I need to say OMG he is GORGEOUS!!!!!! But don't tell my DH I said that (-: The picture of him holding his baby girl is just really beautiful.

I imagine they are going to get ALOT of comments about this. And isn't it sad that this is so unusual?

And we were asked a few times while in South Africa if we were taking care of the maids children. Um, yeah, ok - I am breastfeeding my maids baby, sure. I heard one comment where someone said to the new family "oh, what an adorable future gardener you have there". Ouch. But we've never heard stuff like that since being home...at least not to our face, anyways!

My GF lived in the Sears tower in Chicago and this woman walked up to her and said I see you with these kids all the time which family do you work for?! These were her bio (biracial) children!!

I just thought of something. DH and I took our friends little girl to breakfast one morning. The little girl is white blonde hair with bright blue eyes. DH is the same and I am dark AA. Well the waitress said oh your daughter is sooo cute. I was like ok she really thinks she's our? haha

[inhiswill]

I second the GORGEOUS comment!! This article was very cool. They seem like a beautiful family....

Cowboys’ Ware Fulfills a Challenge for Fatherhood - NYTimes.com

(P.S) I hope I am allowed to post this link??

[KarynB]

Haha - guess you can't win no matter what you say, eh? Sometimes better to say nothing at all...

I was in a bike shop with our middle son who is fairly dark and the guy at the desk, who was also black, cried out "Oh wow, did you actually "make" him?!?". LOL. I have dark hair and brownish skin (native heritage) so I guess it made some sense to him.


My DH (who is Dutch and looks every bit of it) took our baby (who has a lighter complexion) to the convenience store and the guy behind the counter, who is African himself, says "oh, my, his mother must be VERY dark!". Yup...OR...he's adopted!

Funny things people say.

Speaking of that - I was getting some Chinese food tonight and the guy behind me in line says, really loudly to the people working at the counter "Ok, are any of you actually from China?" Wow - unbelievable.

Anyways...sorry to hijack - just once you think of all the dumb things people say, there are just more and more....

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by KarynB

Haha - guess you can't win no matter what you say, eh? Sometimes better to say nothing at all...

I was in a bike shop with our middle son who is fairly dark and the guy at the desk, who was also black, cried out "Oh wow, did you actually "make" him?!?". LOL. I have dark hair and brownish skin (native heritage) so I guess it made some sense to him.


My DH (who is Dutch and looks every bit of it) took our baby (who has a lighter complexion) to the convenience store and the guy behind the counter, who is African himself, says "oh, my, his mother must be VERY dark!". Yup...OR...he's adopted!

Funny things people say.

Speaking of that - I was getting some Chinese food tonight and the guy behind me in line says, really loudly to the people working at the counter "Ok, are any of you actually from China?" Wow - unbelievable.

Anyways...sorry to hijack - just once you think of all the dumb things people say, there are just more and more....

My DH is Dutch too!! Look VERY like it

[Saya]

Supa, thanks for bringing this to our attention! That NYT article almost had me in tears. There was a thread on the Transracial adoption board for a little while about another AA couple who adopted a CC baby - both how happy they were and how challenging it was in some ways because of societal assumptions.

And yes, DeMarcus Ware is VERY hot!

[Linny]

How great is that photo....and the article!?!?!?! Wow! Maybe this will happen more and more? We can only hope so......
At any rate, they ARE a beautiful family.

Sincerely,

Linny

[ChromaKelly]

They look like a beautiful family, what a touching story. An aside - OMG he's hot!

[sbaglio]

What a touching story! Thanks for posting this. Wish I had been as brave, as it were, our first time around...maybe for #2.

[KarynB]

Saya - do you remember the title of the thread you mention? I'd love to read it over...

Ok - but let's get to the heart of this. (-: Does this signify that we are moving beyond race and colour in the world of adoption?

I am trying to imagine if the reverse were reality - lots of CC babies available for adoption but only a handful of African children. Would that have made a difference in my choosing to adopt from Africa rather than domestically? Right now I think no, because we were drawn to Africa in a way that extended beyond colour - but it is hard to say. I am biased by my perceptions.

I think they are very brave for going against the grain and following their hearts, but I also feel for this little girl who is going to be questioned her whole life. But, that is in the same way I feel for our sons who will never just blend in and not have to answer questions. I imagine they are facing a lot of backlash from the AA community - but that is a huge assumption on my part.

In one way I am envious of them - they are able to adopt transracially and not have to worry about some of the issues we face - they can live anywhere in North America and not worry to the same extent about diversity, they can travel or live overseas without the same worry about other cultures' stereotypes and racism (we were planning to live in Northern Lebanon for 6 months but realized it may not be good for our sons...). Or am I just being naive on this? I guess they face a whole host of issues I don't have to worry about so it all evens out in the end.

I'd love to hear others' thoughts on this...

[Fran27]

Yes he's hot

Cute story.. they all look great together.

That being said, I don't know if it's so appealing for most AA families to adopt transracially, when you can find agencies that have AA programs much cheaper than the rest. It's kinda sad.

[cbrink7]

What a beautiful family. I loved to article thanks for linking it!

[Sleeplvr]

The article didn't give the baby's race. This seems to be a hot topic on some blogs and a friend of the Ware family made a post regarding it. The friend of the family says that the blogging community assumed the race of the baby based on her physical appearance. She would not say what the child's race was but did say that time will tell and the bloggers are going to look foolish. So my guess is the child is mixed race or Hispanic given the state she was adopted from. I have friends who are an interracial couple and their child has dark hair with white skin and blue eyes... no one would believe her father was AA based on her appearance. So a baby's physical appearance doesn't always reflect its racial background.

[Sohmakun]

Originally Posted by Sleeplvr

The article didn't give the baby's race. This seems to be a hot topic on some blogs and a friend of the Ware family made a post regarding it. The friend of the family says that the blogging community assumed the race of the baby based on her physical appearance. She would not say what the child's race was but did say that time will tell and the bloggers are going to look foolish. So my guess is the child is mixed race or Hispanic given the state she was adopted from. I have friends who are an interracial couple and their child has dark hair with white skin and blue eyes... no one would believe her father was AA based on her appearance. So a baby's physical appearance doesn't always reflect its racial background.

Your right, I saw this one couple at the airport with a 4ish year old son who looked very white and the mother was AA and very dark skinned.

I don't know if it's so appealing for most AA families to adopt transracially, when you can find agencies that have AA programs much cheaper than the rest. It's kinda sad.

Your right too Fran, but AA children aren't the only type of children whose's fees are "cheaper". Children with disabilities and infants who are "at risk" for the effects of drugs and alcohol are also discounted with "cheaper" fees. Even the blondest haired, bluest eyed children.