[kelceesmom]

So my darling little 3 year old has finally hit the terrible 3's. Everything with me is a fight and a huge NOOOOOOOOOOOO! She is throwing herself on the floor (thank goodness only in my house so far) screaming and pitching fits. This Dr. Jekly and Mr. Hyde is very scary. I hope it doesn't last to long. She is only doing it with me. Everytime my folks keep her she is an angel and as soon as I stop by to pick her up it starts. Boy, am I lucky or what. There is no reasoning with her. What are some of your tips?

[Stormster]

No tips, I'm 3 years behind you but I have another thread today that might help in some way....ugh I'm not looking forward to this! Good luck...

[finallyamom0310]

I am a year and a half behind but looking forward to seeing the suggestions from others. Good luck.

I did find that with my stepson that is now 16 his personality is always different around us than anyone else. Everyone used to say it is because kids are able to relax around their parents. No one ever tells you how to handle it though.

[loveajax]

Denise, I feel your pain. DD has just been really "monsterish" lately. I literally started crying yesterday because she was just pushing all my buttons.....I am trying to incorporate more of that 1-2-3 logic stuff (I am learning from friends, but I need to get the book). She's trying sooooo hard to be independent too. It's a hard age!!!

[kelceesmom]

[quoteNo one ever tells you how to handle it though.[/quote]

I know I just keep saying the serenity prayer to myself! LOL

[Stormster]

What are the books to read? E is actually not 3 years behind but 2. It will take me 2 years just to read a book so maybe I should buy now.

List please!

[nikkianni]

No advice but a big I know how stressful it can be when home is not exactly peaceful.

[thanksgivingmom]

This may not be helpful but when my nephew was 3 he locked me out of his house while I was babysitting him and then taunted me from inside. He was a MONSTER.

Now he's the most wonderful, sweet 15 year old boy I have EVER met. So it passes That's the good news!

[Lovebug]

We have a 4.5yo....I can honestly say that the 3's were the worst by far. My family has a saying..."terrible 2's, trecherous 3's, fabulous 4's" and so far they have been spot on. When DS turned 3, we had just brought our younger son home. At first we thought it was because there was a new babe in the house. But quickly found out that was not the case at all and actually having the little guy here helped. We were able to get the Big involved with the Babe...he threw diapers away, helped get things for Mommy...basically became my "Big Boy helper". That helped with the moods and the fits alot because he's easily redirected so when I saw it coming on, I was able to say, "ok, I need your help! Let's go do XYZ" whether it be laundry, or cleaning up, or playing with his special toys together....there was alot of focus on his new role. But when it got BAD and the fits were unavoidable, I let them happen. I literally at times stepped over him on the kitchen floor having an all out meltdown and have told him, "when you're done having your fit, come into the living room." He would realize that his negative behavior wasn't getting the attention he sought but his positive behavior was and really he just GOT it. I have to admit that alot of time we over-exaggerated his good behavior to "drive the point home" to him. But by the time he was about 3years 9mos, he was a changed boy. He is sweet, polite, kind, has beautiful manners and is still my special helper. Of course he has his days and his moments...we all do! But it's like he needed to just get the goofiness out of his system and I let him. There was no sense battling him over it...for him ignoring his nonsense nipped it in the bud. It's what worked for us. Hope it helps!

--Renee

[blessedbybug]

What worked for us with DD was always, always giving her choices. Two things for HER to choose between and we could handle which ever choice she made. This prevented alot. So if it was time for her to get her shoes on, it was "Bug, do you want to sit on my lap to put your shoes on?" or "Do you want to sit on the step?" Both accomplished our goal but she got to decide which way she wanted to do it. We have done this for everything. But it has worked for her. She is very verbal so that helps.

The other thing I did was get some thick skin to take care of the people who stared when she was tantrumming in the grocery story and I was sitting there cleaning out my purse or organizing my grocery list (in other words, ignoring her). That is how we accomplished outings when she was in the mood. People stared. I learned not to care.

Hugs! It's hard! So many challenges and no two kids are the same. I know DS is going to be a whole new project as he's already in full frustration mode.

[linda512]

Valium for you? I have no real advice. My son will be 3 in November and was not really a terrible two until recently. Now he has tantrums for the silliest reasons. I just let him cry it out and if he starts throwing things, put him somewhere where he can't do that. Most of the time he is an angel, but then he falls apart.
I think it is part of the maturity process and limit testing. Don't give in! Stay strong and you will get past this. At least I hope so...

[Jo Ellen]

Even though going through this isn't easy one thing to realize is you are a great mom. I had many episodes with our daughter (now 16) when she was younger but realizing she wasn't behaving this way with others made me feel like I was doing something right. Just remember that it will pass with time. Kudos to all the moms... we are survivors.

[crick]

I used to hide in the closet on the really bad days. I kid you not!

Some things I did during these years (and still use when necessary)

Sing my requests or talk in silly voice. "Kellllccceeeeeeee, you are my sweeeeetieeee but you cannnoooooot have a cooookkkiieeeeee!" Sometimes a young kid will just giggle, look at you strangely and move on etc. And yes, sometimes it'll aggravate them more, depending on the level of tantrum, but it's usually worth a shot.

Ignore it while doing something else that gets their attention. Jumping jacks, clapping hands etc.

Carry child to room and let them know when they have calmed down, you will be more than happy to talk to them. (this took a long time to implement but I'm really glad I did this because now they use their rooms as a calm down point before things escalate)

Giving choices is a great one, just make sure both choices are acceptable to YOU. LOL!

Hang in there!

[greenrobin]

Mine gets to have a full out tantrum on her bed--it's the safest place, you know! And, she can choose to come out any time as long as the tantrum doesn't come with her.

If we are out, then we go to the truck. She goes in her carseat, I turn on the truck for AC and then I read. She screams and carries on and I pretend to totally ignore it. I don't raise my voice, I don't get angry. I just tell her to let me know when she's ready to resume whatever it was and then I become deaf and blind to her antics. It usually only takes a minute.

At this stage their little brains are going a mile a minute and their expressive language doesn't keep up. They get so frustrated. And manipulative. If it works, they'll do it. And she may also be letting loose when you show up because she can't hold it in any more. Think of it as showing massive trust in you. Sounds good, anyway!

They do grow out of it, mostly. I cannot remember the last time the 24, 22, 20 and 12 year olds threw a big ole fit!

[KatiesEd-dad]

We're right there with you, Denice. Katie's been firmly implanted in the "horrible three's" for about 2 months now and it's really been bad in the last 2 weeks. I just got through telling DW that "maybe I'll just move out until she's 7". Needless to say that got vetoed. Hang in there, it's only bound to get worse before it gets better.