[4everwaiting]

OK ProudMum that does it, I'm moving to NZ!!! Got an extra room? lol

Here it seems anything goes as long as you have enough money... Unethical, unlawful and downright unbelievable things happen here(US) daily...

Really sad, huh...

S

[Tazer]

Originally Posted by lovemy2boys

I think you're missing the point here, Tazer, if you can change Aiden's Birthdate to 2027, you can certainly change yours to 2002!!!

You are soooo right! OK I am now the 8 year old wife of 43 year old Adam and mom to 22 yo Jessica and 16 yo twin girls Aleea and Alexa and soon-to-be born but already here Aidan. WoW Mommy likes!

BTW: Seriously, most agencies who changed the newborn's DOB didn't do it for better parties or to avoid holidays, as we know. They did it to prevent B-parents from having identifying information and IMO I think thats why some of the A-parents are doing it today and that is sick. JMO T

[mommy2fiveplus]

then they need to stop having sex, adoption is a wonderful option when an unexpected pregnancy occurs and plans need to be made.

These pregnancies are not unexpected, unless they are really dense and haven't yet figured out that A+B=C in nine monthes.

In this case adoption it self is the loser because it gets negative publicity and how will that child feel when he is grown, knowing the background he came from?

Domestic adoption was never an option for us (we have bios and the costs are way to high, and it just isn't are calling) but everytime we have adopted through foster care I have always been thankful that our kids will never realize "how much they cost" because foster adopts where we live are free.

I think that domestic adoption can be a wonderful thing, but like the foster-adopt program it too is fraught with problems and unethical people.

[proudmum]

Originally Posted by 4everwaiting

OK ProudMum that does it, I'm moving to NZ!!! Got an extra room? lol

Here it seems anything goes as long as you have enough money... Unethical, unlawful and downright unbelievable things happen here(US) daily...

Really sad, huh...

S

4ever,
We sure do,,,you are welcome anytime,,, DD has a playhouse as well that i am sure would make a lovely apartment for someone as long as you dont want to stand up in it,,, LOL

And yes its very sad that money can make things happen that shouldnt..

[alinev]

With 6 adoption plans something VERY wrong is going on here. This is not a case of misused contraception. They are either getting financial or emotional gratification from this process. Maybe they feel the need to "help" others etc. Whatever their story, the fact that an adoption agency would continue to support them is nuts. If this couple cannot or will not raise the children they have, they should take the necessary permanent steps to ensure that they never have an unplanned pregnancy.

[nikkianni]

Our DD was a baby born situation in which DH and I were contact directly by her bioparents. Our agency was NEVER involved in this situation literally until the morning TPR was to be signed.
We still had to pay the agency's matching (they didn't) and placement (again, nope) fees. Also the fee for birthparent counseling even though DD's birthparents didn't opt for that!
Oh, and DD's birthmom was on medicaid (care?) so all medical expenses, etc. were covered.
So really DH and I paid our agency $4,000 for services that were never rendered. And apparently that's OK.

I too don't believe in much government intervention. In fact in most cases I think the government pokes its nose in far too often.
However, that may be the only way these agencies and facilitators back off the crazy fees. We're at the point where we could comfortably raise one or two more children, but may never get the chance because we cannot comfortably afford the up front cost of an adoption.
It's sad.

[Tazer]

OK Guys...I got up this morning with my fresh uncluttered brain on and decided to come back and do this:

>>> <<< since the new one isn't doing this:

>>>: <<< yet and address this post. I looked at the OP and I simply can't believe this paragraph:

Expectant mom is Caucasian, 26 yrs old, blue
eyes and brown hair. This is her 9th pregnancy. She is parenting her first child, she has had 1 miscarriage and she has placed the last 6 children for adoption. She notes the pregnancy to be a surprise and that she and her husband are not in a position to support any additional children. She is receiving prenatal care and will be covered under Medicaid. She denies the use of drugs, alcohol or smoking with this pregnancy. The expectant mom has placenta previa and has delivered early in the past. It is expectant she will deliver early with this pregnancy as well. The babies have been born early and all have been healthy with no concerns. There are no mental concerns.


This is just wrong on so many levels, ya' know? Even if I didn't use birth control for religious reasons before I'd get pregnant and place 6 of my kids for adoption I'd do the Nancy Regan thing and just say No! LOCK-DOWN CLINK- CLINK, THE GATE IS CLOSED! The woman is 26 and very fertile, at the current rate she could have and place 75 babies in her lifetime! At what point is ANYTHING coming out of her nether regions a surprise anymore??? Apparently it happens every 7-9 months so why is she surprised; I would assume that by now the maternity ward would be sending her automatic reminders to come in for her yearly delivery.


Having just paid for prenatal care and still paying for the delivery and hundreds in co-pays myself, why do they get taxpayer supported deliveries, yearly?

Finally, WHY ARE THERE NO MENTAL CONCERNS? I for one am very concerned! And outraged! If this isn't a case for mental concern what is? I don't know what the pay-off is for her / them, but I'm willing to bet there is one and me thinks it involves $$$.

As a B-mom I can say placing a child is a very hard very emotional thing to do. I did it only once and it nearly destroyed me; no way could I do it over and over before age 26 and have "no mental concerns." Perhaps she has no mental issues that she could pass on to a child but she has mental issues and someone really needs to address them. JMO...Tracy

[belleinblue1978]

Ok, so I've been thinking about this for awhile. SO many things make me sick about this.

First off.... could this look anymore like an ad for a puppy? I read ads like this all the time for sporting dogs (I live in a hunting area.)

Second off... Why aren't isn't SOMEONE talking to these people about permanent birth control?

Third off.... NINE pregnancies? ONE pregnancy nearly ruined my body, I can't imagine nine. This just isn't healthy for anyone.

Fourth... And we wonder why the general public thinks that first parents are money grubbing? I wouldn't have accepted a penny from my son's parents. All I want is for them to take care of him.

Fifth... This agency is more like a pet store than an adoption agency. Do you s'pose they have auctioneers in the delivery rooms? Not like the nice art gallery ones either, like the ones at livestock auctions.

[Cjmeck]

Originally Posted by belleinblue1978

Fifth... This agency is more like a pet store than an adoption agency. Do s'pose they have auctioneers in the delivery rooms? Not like the nice art gallery ones either, like the ones at livestock auctions.

EXACTLY! And I agree w/Tazer; there MUST be a mental health issue as well.

[Casey677]

Originally Posted by MamaS

I know personally of three families from Florida who have adopted from out-of-state to avoid the long wait for babies.

I haven't yet read the whole thread (I hugely agree about the fees, BTW) but this comment has left me scratching my head and saying Huh?? I live in FL and adopted my second dd from a local agency. We weren't even clients of theirs when they called us about my dd. For some reason, they didn't have any paparents that were open to adopting a biracial baby. No wait time for us at all. AND low fees.

I know many FL adoptions can be costly due to the no cap living expenses (gag me) but long wait times? I've never heard that before....

[yehudit]

Through this whole process DH and I have been joking about how market-driven it all is. Like how CC babies are more expensive than AA babies, who are more expensive than older children. We sort of laugh about it because what choice do we have? But it does throw us off to hear people in the field talking so matter-of-factly about the prices associated with different children.

Thanks for this post.

[mg1970]

Wow, I was OK with the situation until I saw the fees. And yes the 9 pregnancies would bother me, but I could look past it if the situation was right in every other way (which it is not).

If this woman is turning out babies for profit has she thought of becomming a surrogate? It seems that it would be a lot more profitable.

As far as the changing of the due date ... my son was due on my birthday, but then came 2 weeks early. I was glad to go early but it would have been cool for us to share a birthday. Too late to change? (JK) Seriously, I can't see changing a birthday. Is the mother of those twins planning on telling them that they are adopted? When they hear their adoption stories aren't they going to wonder how their parents were in 2 places at once? Just because your birthdays are a few days apart doesn't mean you can't have a joint birthday party. Usually the party is on the nearest Saturday.

OK, while we are sharing stories about crazy things we have heard -- I was reading on a nursing forum about a situation where a nurse said there was a family having twins and they were placing only one of the twins for adoption. No one in the family knew of this plan except the bmom and her husband. They had to be careful not to put both babies in the viewing room at the same time and provide a separate place for the adoptive family to room in. I can sort of understand the situation -- only had planned to have one baby and have two -- what to do, but how do you explain that to the children? You have a twin somewhere? I grew up near a family who supposedly had two adopted children that were both one half of a set of twins. Their parents were crazy (I mean really) so we always thought they made it up. But maybe not?


M

[proudmum]

about the twins being seperated,,, that is terrible,,,imagine how the twin that was adopted to another family will feel when they are older,,, wow this one really blows me away,,, that is so sad.

[thanksgivingmom]

I know a personal family friend (eh, friend of a family friend really) that wants one more child. Twins run in her family. One day she openly said like it was no big deal that were she to get pregnant with twins she would place one for adoption. She only wants three children, not four.

Many people gently tried to say things like, "Oh, once you hear two heartbeats and see those two perfect babies you won't be able to imagine parting with one of them."

Nope. She was totally okay with it. WHAT???? This should be illegal. I don't know how it could be, but it should. ugh.

[lovemy2boys]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

I know a personal family friend (eh, friend of a family friend really) that wants one more child. Twins run in her family. One day she openly said like it was no big deal that were she to get pregnant with twins she would place one for adoption. She only wants three children, not four.

Many people gently tried to say things like, "Oh, once you hear two heartbeats and see those two perfect babies you won't be able to imagine parting with one of them."

Nope. She was totally okay with it. WHAT???? This should be illegal. I don't know how it could be, but it should. ugh.

UGH - people can be so darn flippant about things they know so little about...