[paigeturner]

As a society we’ve allowed our children to become commodities; supply and demand. And while I appreciate Mommieof2’s goals to start a non-profit, as great of a start as that is, it’s not enough. We all read about baby scams and parents who so desperately want children that are hurt by them. We read about first-parents who were not given the proper counseling and support to make an informed decision. We read about adult adoptees that are denied their own records.

Why are agencies and individuals that are using the tactics you described not prosecuted? We need radical reform for infant adoption in this country. But, when I’ve said it in the past, I was flamed for being “anti-adoption”. Not so. Not even close. But, when I read of a few that are profiting from the pain of all members of the triad I feel furious.

[mommieof2cuties]

Originally Posted by 4everwaiting

Summer,

I too am from Florida and as you know there are no caps in our state...

We have spoke to many agencies in FL -their rates are off the charts 30-40k+. Our budget is on the low end 10-15k we are almost laughed off the phone when calling around... The two agencies we are signed with are within our budget, but their waiting list is looong so that's why we are waiting 2 years and counting...

It's just wrong, there needs to be some type of reform in our state.

S

FL, also allows unlimited pay offs and I so don't agree with that, it almost is allows scamming to go on, I meet a women once through DCF and she told me she matched with a family because they were paying for everything, she shared with me that she was going to keep the baby in the end. My heart went out to the couple, and to everyone, but also to the baby. She got her rent, bills, everything paid for in addition to whatever the couple paid the agency, and the attorneys etc.

I am an adoptee myself in a closed adoption searching for my bio family, and it hurts me every day that I have not found them. But when I placed my daughter in an open adoption, I have worked very hard on that, and no money exchanged hands, and the agency made all the moeny, I didn't get any support really ect help in filling out the paper work. So just based on my own life, I saw a need for change.

I will have an educater on staff, a councler on staff, and I am hoping to find an attorney to sub contract with to be a silent member of the staff on my non profit. My two friends and I plan to sit down in the next few weeks and do the paper work needed to get started, because we do see the need.

One thing that I do love is this site, the forums allow us to connect, and allow us to say what is on one's mind.

Summer

[RavenSong]

I agree with Fadzi...the ghost of Georgia Tann is alive and well in today's adoption industry. This is baby selling, plain and simple.

When I placed my son in 1972, I went thru the San Diego County Department of Adoptions. His parents were on the waiting list for five months, and they didn't have to pay one dime. MediCal picked up the cost for prenatal care and childbirth (I was a 16-year-old foster kid when I got pregnant, so I was already covered by MediCal.)

It was really common in those years to voluntarily place newborns thru the County. I think San Diego only had the County Department of Adoptions, Catholic Charities, and Children's Home Society from which to choose. I thought the county social workers would conduct a more thorough screening process and background checks of PAPs ~ that was my primary concern. Do county adoption agencies no longer exist for voluntary placement of newborns??

[Cjmeck]

I just really cannot imagine what these birthparents have going on in their lives to keep resorting to this! I agree, this does sound like babyselling. And no matter how bad I would want to be a parent, I would RUN from this situation.

[4everwaiting]

I dont know Raven??? Maybe in the bigger counties maybe- But, I havent heard of any...

S

[paigeturner]

Originally Posted by Cjmeck

I just really cannot imagine what these birthparents have going on in their lives to keep resorting to this! I agree, this does sound like babyselling. And no matter how bad I would want to be a parent, I would RUN from this situation.

But it's not just the birthparents; it's the agency that is turning a HUGE profit on these people. It is just like a puppy mill as a previous poster stated. It is very disheartening that this is allowed.

[MamaS]

I know personally of three families from Florida who have adopted from out-of-state to avoid the long wait for babies. One family I encountered "scored" with artificial twins. They were matched with a mother in Maryland, flew up for the birth, did the paperwork then flew with their newborn son back to Atlanta where they had another birthmother in labor. She also had a baby boy - about two weeks preemie -- so they rented a suite, hired a nanny for #1 Son and stayed at the hospital until #2 was ready to go. They they rented a car and drove back to Florida with two sons about three weeks apart. The second birthmother was aware that they were planning to "twin" but the first one was not. They even decided to change the birthdates at the finalization so they would both have the same day and they could have one party. The whole "adventure" cost them around $65,000 (not including the Florida lawyers).

[Cjmeck]

Originally Posted by paigeturner

But it's not just the birthparents; it's the agency that is turning a HUGE profit on these people. It is just like a puppy mill as a previous poster stated. It is very disheartening that this is allowed.

Oh I completely agree. There needs to be some serious overhauling of the adoption practices in the US. I mean, how in the world can WE be Hague compliant with this kind of stuff going on??

[mommieof2cuties]

Originally Posted by MamaS

I know personally of three families from Florida who have adopted from out-of-state to avoid the long wait for babies. One family I encountered "scored" with artificial twins. They were matched with a mother in Maryland, flew up for the birth, did the paperwork then flew with their newborn son back to Atlanta where they had another birthmother in labor. She also had a baby boy - about two weeks preemie -- so they rented a suite, hired a nanny for #1 Son and stayed at the hospital until #2 was ready to go. They they rented a car and drove back to Florida with two sons about three weeks apart. The second birthmother was aware that they were planning to "twin" but the first one was not. They even decided to change the birthdates at the finalization so they would both have the same day and they could have one party. The whole "adventure" cost them around $65,000 (not including the Florida lawyers).

WOW I am SHOCKED at the changing the birthdate thing. I thought you couldn't do that anymore? WOW and to not tell the first BMOM. um.....wow

Summer

[Cjmeck]

Originally Posted by MamaS

I know personally of three families from Florida who have adopted from out-of-state to avoid the long wait for babies. One family I encountered "scored" with artificial twins. They were matched with a mother in Maryland, flew up for the birth, did the paperwork then flew with their newborn son back to Atlanta where they had another birthmother in labor. She also had a baby boy - about two weeks preemie -- so they rented a suite, hired a nanny for #1 Son and stayed at the hospital until #2 was ready to go. They they rented a car and drove back to Florida with two sons about three weeks apart. The second birthmother was aware that they were planning to "twin" but the first one was not. They even decided to change the birthdates at the finalization so they would both have the same day and they could have one party. The whole "adventure" cost them around $65,000 (not including the Florida lawyers).

That is just disgusting on so many levels. These are NOT puppies we're talking about. Makes me really sad!

[RavenSong]

Originally Posted by MamaS

They even decided to change the birthdates at the finalization so they would both have the same day and they could have one party.

Wow, MamaS, is it even legal to change a child's date of birth in this country in this day and age?? I am stunned....

[MamaS]

I don't know all state laws, but it is legal in Georgia if you do it before a SS # is issued, or if you can convince the judge you have a good reason. A good reason would be a child having a birthdate too near Christmas, or a parent wanting a child to be able to postpone school for a year, or (this was my godchild) the parents wanted the bd moved from October to July because pool parties were so easy to do for birthdays. The judge did it and took six months off the child's real age. Of course, if she ever goes looking for her bparents or they go looking for her, the difference in birthdates is going to make it much harder!

[binkybear]

Originally Posted by MamaS

the parents wanted the bd moved from October to July because pool parties were so easy to do for birthdays. The judge did it and took six months off the child's real age.

I'm looking for the "smacking my head" smiley over there.... POOL PARTIES???!!!!

Sitting here gobsmacked at what the courts are used for.

[cbrink7]

Originally Posted by Howdy

Maybe the couple having the babies don't believe in birth control for religious reasons?

I do understand and respect peoples religion beliefs and the fact that some do not believe in birth control, but this does not sound like one of those cases to me (just from the OP). The fact they they are "difficult" during the process and that there is such a high fee (when no medical expenses are requested it seems that they need the living expenses). It still seems unethical to me.


Also-changing birthdays because of pool parties-I am speechless!

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

Wow -- I've heard of people who don't know their b-day choosing a date (i.e. children in countries where birth registration isn't universal), but to purposely lie to your kid about their b-day! And to do it for such a frivilous reason on top of it!