[proudmum]

Brandy, i am so sorry that this is happening to your daughter,,, that poor girl....
I am shocked at cps attitude towards you...
I cant begin to understand how anyone can not care for a child properly, wether adopted or bio,,,it disgusts me that someone could be so selfish and downright mean...

[dpen6]

I think this is the question that needs to be put forth to all women that are thinking of palcing their babies.

So, you don't think you can parent?...What if....? Brandy's story shows its a reality. The potential for abuse and neglect is a real one in adoption, from the adopted parents, not just the birthparents.

[Stormster]

Well I mean yeah if you can possibly parent you will hopefully parent. I believe that most aparents do a great job though because they want to be parents very badly. I know there are exceptions (first hand) but I also know we are checked out very thoroughly and must have the resources to go through the process which is very demanding both emotionally and financially. I hope that counts for something.

But yeah, it's definitely something to consider.

[BrandyHagz]

I also know we are checked out very thoroughly

This is not always the case. Remember, agencies are paid by adopting parents - agencies work for you - they are in the business of getting homestudies approved, not denying them.

I hold a lot of resentment and anger for the professionals in charge of making sure my daughters parents were fit to parent. There were LOTS of warning signs/red flags...

[proudmum]

[quote=BrandyHagz]This is not always the case. Remember, agencies are paid by adopting parents - agencies work for you - they are in the business of getting homestudies approved, not denying them.

This is why i think there is merit to the way adoptions are handled here in nz.,
There is only one adoption unit and that is run by the government, we do not pay at all , just the lawyers fees of us and bmom (max for us $500.00 US).
We get checked out VERY throughly( not saying you dont) our profiles go into a waiting pool and picked by bmom herself .We are not allowed to give bmom money( adoption would be cancelled) it took 1 1/2 yrs to be chosen and i know of one who has been on the list for about 4 yrs,,,
We are not allowed to advertise in any way,shape or form..
And the bmom is constantly asked by the social workers if this is what she wants,,, she is told numerous times about what options there are availiable for her to parent and thats its ok to change her mind( we told bmom this too when dd was born that we would understand)... they even have another sit down with bmom right before she signs and explains all of this again,,, actually dds bmom told me that she was actually sick of them asking her as she had already made up her mind.
Baby is not allowed into our home until order has been signed though i was sent for 14 days ( minimum time before signing) by bmom to a maternity home with dd so i have been with her from birth ,,, something which i will be eternally grateful for,,, its not very common here.
we know that bmom knew all her options and that she signed being fully informed.