[Kirlaskia]

I figured since there is a thread (or two!) up for annoying things people have said and smart/fun comebacks... i'd start one with just general things you have heard over and over and over again and are quite sick of. ((You know, the "once you adopt, you'll get pregnant" type things that EVERYONE seems to say a lot))

"Once you adopt, you'll probably get pregnant."
(Did someone send out a flyer and ask friends and family to make sure to say this? I swear not a single adoptive parent, who suffered/suffers from IF, has not gotten this one at some point. On the same token, this is something that does happen quite often, so I guess I can understand why its said so much.)

"Spend a weekend with my kids and you won't want to have any anymore." - or, some variation of that.
(Although it is meant in "fun", this one usually bothers me. It always feels like its being "rubbed" in my face that I dont have kids yet. Even though I know it is not meant like that.)

Anyone got any others that are said often?

[Celesyee]

It's the same variation of the "once you adopt, you'll get pregnant" but in a different verb tense:

"Now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant...it always happens"

Oddly, even family and friends (including MIL who did get PG 8yrs after adopting her first son, DH's elderly aunt who adopted her 2nd child and never became PG with her 3rd, and my friend who adopted a sibling set 4yrs ago and has yet to become PG) who adopted have said this annoying comment. Go figure!

[mondk]

We made the huge mistake of telling my in-laws how much the adoption was going to cost. Their response?: "Aren't you happy with the one you have?"

Now that we have Joshie, they deny ever saying that though!

Blessings, Michelle

[Happy123]

Our neighbor addressed the pregnancy comment in their blog announcing their pregnancy. They adopted their son and became pregnant within months...of course they had been trying for ten plus years. We talked about how of course she would get that comment a lot.
The one that gets to me is...O I could never adopt, you must have such a big heart. No my heart is the same size as yours. Or, what will you do when they want to meet their real mom....didn't know I was not real or just a substitute. No need to worry, they do see her.
Happy123

[nikkianni]

Why would you want someone else's baby when you can have your own?
She is my own. End of story.

I am also incredibly tired of people assuming my child was born addicted to something or exposed to something. Not to say it doesn't happen, of course it does. But why do people think that every birthmother/parent is a drug addicted mess? Does that mean that every set of parents that have bio children are Ward and June Cleaver?

[sadiegirl]

Ready to be totally flamed here but...

I do think "adopting and then getting pg" happen much more frequently now. I think a figure used to be floated around of 5% but I wonder when that study was done?

Yes, I am aware that for MOST people, you will not adopt and then get pg. But just look at all the posts on here of that very fact...there's even a thread going on right now! I know in my personal life, 50% of the people I know that have adopted, have also gotten pg.

I guess all I'm trying to say is, it DOES seem to be very common...which is why people say it...which is why I'm not offended by it.

Back to the OT, what bugs me is when people find out we have semi-open with bmom. That look of shock and "you have to send pix to her?"

Grrrr

[finallyamom0310]

Originally Posted by sadiegirl

Back to the OT, what bugs me is when people find out we have semi-open with bmom. That look of shock and "you have to send pix to her?"

Grrrr

This one gets me too. We are in more of an OA than a SemiOA and when we planned our first visit with the BMom, we got quite a few comments and looks. I was even brushed off and topic changed when I was talking with close friends about it. I think with all the adoption programs out there, the focus needs to change from adoption to OA or Semi-OA so that society can be better informed about the changes in adoption these days.

Sorry, off my soapbox now.

[4everwaiting]

Here are a few of the hundreds that we get quite regularly...

*** "why do you want kids now you both are in your 40's! You should have done this in your 20's or 30's (had we known about my IF we would have)... -You've got it made"-(cough, cough yea right sarcasicly) My response, yea there will be changes but have you ever wondered why we go and do so much, could be becasue we have been missing something that so many other people seem to flaunt in our face, we have to get away sometimes! And truthfully anywhere we go, we can take our child, they're not resticted to home...

*** "do you know how much adoption cost?!!" as if I didn't!!!

*** "why is it taking so long, you've been at this for years?" YEA I KNOW!!!

*** after telling friends we are adopting "hey adopt me"

*** "my friends cousin twice removed adopted in two days"

*** "you want kids-here take mine that will change your minds" my response- naaa you've already ruined yours, I want my own...

And my all time favorite!! drum roll pleaseeeee...

*** "have you heard anything yet?" grrrrr

There are more, but these are some on the top of the list...

S

[ourdreamcametru]

Oh the one that gets me is when people ask, "do you ever see her mom?" "Well, yes every time I look in the mirror and we also see her birthmom several times a year!" My mil is the worst to ask this one. I equally hate the response we get from the above question, "aren't you afraid she will take her back?" "No, we have no fear of her taking her back, the adoption is final and she is pleased with her decision, her birthfamily is an extention of our family!"

[SchmennaLeigh]

Sure! My favorite is:

"So, are there any REAL benefits of open adoption?"

Yeah.

[lahdh4]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

Sure! My favorite is:

"So, are there any REAL benefits of open adoption?"

Yeah.

yeap.

Or even:

They let you see her???

[oceanica]

I bring Athena home and 2 weeks later a family member says to me "you know, you couldv'e gotten one from China in 7 months... I saw it on TV."
OK, why don't I give her back so I can run right out and get a baby from China?!!

[KatiesEd-dad]

Originally Posted by 4everwaiting

And my all time favorite!! drum roll pleaseeeee...

*** "have you heard anything yet?" grrrrr

We got that one a lot during our first adoption and are getting it again now that we're waiting for #2. Last time I would just smile and say "Nope...nothing yet"

This time I've gotten a little more creative. My response now is "Well, I've stopped at University Health Services (we work in a major university town) nine months ago and poked pin holes in all the condoms. We should be hearing something any day now"

[swd]

Originally Posted by KatiesEd-dad

We got that one a lot during our first adoption and are getting it again now that we're waiting for #2. Last time I would just smile and say "Nope...nothing yet"

This time I've gotten a little more creative. My response now is "Well, I've stopped at University Health Services (we work in a major university town) nine months ago and poked pin holes in all the condoms. We should be hearing something any day now"

Oooh -- that's a GREAT idea! I mean, reply...

[paigeturner]

Originally Posted by KatiesEd-dad

"Well, I've stopped at University Health Services (we work in a major university town) nine months ago and poked pin holes in all the condoms. We should be hearing something any day now"

Ok, THIS made me spray coffee all over myself! Very funny!

I know this thread isn't meant for me, but I hate reading or hearing aparents or paparents refer to their child's bmom as "our birthmom". Makes me feel like a "uterus for all mankind". I never hear first parents refer to their kid's mom and dad as "our Aparents" or "our mom and dad"...because that would be weird!