[tanmansmom]

Okay, TJ will be 2 at the end of the month. My husband and I are having a major disagreement. I stay home with him for the most part, but he has been going to an inhome day care about 10 hours a week (for social interaction and so I can get errands done). I am a little unhappy since when I signed him up, she showed me the "curriculum" she used. But, there is no formal learning going on there. The tv is on and the kids play. I believe in play, but I also think it is time for him to have some structured time with other kids. Am I wrong? Please tell me if I am wanting this too early. It would just be two days a week at most. At what age do you all think he should have structured learning time?

[ourdreamcametru]

My personal opinion is that three is a good age so start structured learning but before that just singing abc's, coloring, and general things are fine. I have started all three of my children in a two day a week MDO program at the age of three and they have all done fine in school. Up until the age of three I stay home full-time and when they start MDO they are with me the other three days a week. I think kids have their entire life past the age of 5 to learn and be in school, why not let babies be babies.

[SchmennaLeigh]

In home daycare isn't preschool and shouldn't be treated as such or expected to be such. Social interaction is a GREAT reason to send your child to something. But if you want your child to learn something at that point/age, it's really on your lap. Let your child enjoy playing with others and help him learn at home.

Nick is going to preschool at the end of this month (preschool, not daycare). He will be three months shy of 3 but already knows his letters, numbers, shapes, colors and so on (and is potty trained, so the school will take him). Prior to this very point in his life, he wasn't ready for structured learning. In fact, he went to a preschool type Bible class at camp and you could tell he was just a smidgen young for it because he didn't grasp the concept of repeating hand motions for the first few days. But by the end, he got it! (I was so proud.)

Best of luck finding out what works best for your family!

[Saya]

This fall at age 2.5 my daughter be starting pre-school 3 days a week. But the school does NOT focus on "structured learning." Rather, it's all about age-approprate social and emotional development through play-based activities. I think that makes the most sense for 2 and even 3 year olds.

saavysource.com is a great resource for all things pre-school related.

[Cjmeck]

I think there is a big difference between inhome daycare and preschool... I agree with you, I don't think its okay to pay someone to have your kid watch tv... I mean, you could be doing that yourself, right? For our family and our son, he started preschool 3 mornings a week at the age of 3.5yo. He was ready to listen and follow instructions then; but not at 2. I think at 2yo, you should expect them to be learning how to play nicely with other kids. And really, I don't recall much interactive playing going on between the kids until at least 3yo; at 2yo, they were still doing the parallel play. I see what your husband is saying; 2yo probably cannot and should not be in a "structured learning environment". Children learn by playing. But I also see where you're bothered by paying for your child to watch tv. Maybe switch providers or find a play-based part-time daycare? But keep your expectations in line with age; learning how to share is definitely more important then learning colors at that age

[RhondaJ]

I have 2 little girls that I watch in my home and we have play time that consists of ABC and counting but the little girl is only 18 months old so I have all these cute little toys that sing the ABCs. Just to sit down and try and teach her these...she wants no part in it. We also sit down together with the mega blocks and build things, I have a Barbie kitchen and we play with that...she helps me pretend cook on that and put the groceries away, etc. I have a lot of toys that are teaching her while we are playing. I do however; let her have free play time where she just plays by herself. The other little girl I have is 8 months old and we are working on crawling and walking. She also loves to listen to the ABC song that the toys sing and she loves to try and help build things. The 18 month old went from just saying dog to say a lot of words and starting to sing the first part of the alphabet already. We also count to three every day in English and Spanish. My hope for both these little girls...if I am able to keep them until school is having the able to count in both English and Spanish, ABCs, read, and be able to sign the ABCs. Both of my older daughters new all of that by kindergarden plus some. I only have the two because our little one is due at the end of Aug. out in KS. It is also very important to make sure they have some outside time everyday (weather permitting) as well. Both the girls are exceling and their mothers are very happy. My little 8 month old is now giving kisses!

[tanmansmom]

I think I am going to take him back to the center he was at before. It is truly for stay-at-home-moms. There is a 4 hour time limit per day and you by packages by the hour, not the day. They are structured in the way that they have puzzle time, music time, arts and crafts, etc... Thanks for all of your insights!!!

[Casey677]

Originally Posted by Saya

This fall at age 2.5 my daughter be starting pre-school 3 days a week. But the school does NOT focus on "structured learning." Rather, it's all about age-approprate social and emotional development through play-based activities.

That is what we did. At 2.5 my dd did two 1/2 days a week. She loved it and has asked me about school every day this summer! She attended a preschool that had "playgroups" for their two's. It was amazing and she learned so much, even though she only attended the second half of the school year. For many reasons that have nothing to do with how wonderful her school is, we've chosen to put her in a different school this year and she will go for five 1/2 days. At 3, I think 5 days is too much, but it gaurentees her place in a new charter school.

[Whirled_Peas]

The Book "Einstein Never Used Flashcards"
Amazon.com: Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn--and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less: Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Diane Eyer: Books
looks at the research about preschool. What it shows is that kids who go to academic preschools are more anxious and less creative than children who go to play based preschools. This book is very well written and easy to read--it's not horrible science writing.

The bottom line of the book is--talk to your kids, read to your kids, let your kids play and they will do better than if you encourage academics at this age.

We are fortunate that I can work minimal amounts and schedule what work I do around my husband's schedule. Last year we paid to hold a slot at one of the best play based preschools in our city. (We got the last slot for this coming school year.) We canceled our slot because we feel our son will do best at home with me where he can just play. We go to art and activity classes at the park and go to library story time. The rest of the time he just plays--by himself, with me, with friends.

I'd suggest to the OP to be more concerned about the fact that the TV is on at the place where he goes. That's probably a good way to turn your kid's brain to mush. Beyond that, if he's just playing, that's great. Play is kids' work.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by Whirled_Peas

I'd suggest to the OP to be more concerned about the fact that the TV is on at the place where he goes. That's probably a good way to turn your kid's brain to mush. Beyond that, if he's just playing, that's great. Play is kids' work.

My thoughts exactly!

[lovemy2boys]

My experience is the same as ourdreamcametrue and Saya...and we've had great results!

[tanmansmom]

I started doing a little Google research on the "Einstein Never Used Flashcards". I have to say that from what I have seen so far, it makes me feel like I am, at least, a decent mother! I, and I think so many of us, kick ourselves over and over that we aren't supermom's. I see posts on here where moms seem to bash other moms and tout a "my way or the highway" attitude. Sometimes I have to hang my head becasue I fear that I am one of those who just can't live up the the "Supermom" hype. Reading about this book made me feel better so I am off to buy it today. TJ and I sing, dance, play trains, build blocks, read, etc... He also helps me unload the dishwasher, put clothes in the dryer, make the bed, fold...er..unfold clothes and vacuum. Yes, we even have the occasional comalike reaction to Sprout t.v., but just a few minutes at a time so that I can take a shower or something. Happy Parenting

[Rebecca G.]

We placed our son in a mothers day out program for the fall. He will go from 9:30 to 2:30 on Tue & Thur. Their goal and ours is for social skills and activity with other children. The cost was relativley cheap at 130 a month.

He will be 19 months when school starts. I wanted to gert a good foundation before we started any structured learning other than what we provide at home.