[TAmar7680]

We are involved in a private, closed adoption. We agreed to pay monthly living expenses for the birth mother. She also told us that the medical part was taken care of through medicaid. It has been 4 months now and she still has not seen a doctor (besides a spotting incident, where the babies heart was heard and everything looked normal at about 8 weeks.)
Every time we ask if they(she has a counsler) have heard anything from medicaid yet, it is "they are dragging their feet" or "they lost me in the system, but there is a new case worker." Now they are waiting for card and information in mail.
We have even offered to pay for 1 doctor's visit just to make sure everything is o.k. with the baby.
Now, we are scared to say the wrong thing about this situation to them. For fear of not getting the baby.

We just want to make sure the baby is healthy before we go on any further. And we are frustrated with the amount of communication we are receiving from them.

We also feel that she will not change her mind, and wants us to have the baby. The counsler is someone we know through family and feel we can trust as well and she inroduced us to the birth mother.

Is this an unusual amount of time for a woman in her situation not see a doctor?

[mommamarci]

Neither of my kids bmoms had any prenatal care. They are both completely healthy! I have heard several situtations where bmom has no prenatal care. Try not to worry too much.

Oh, and I used to have a job where I helped people apply for Medicaid. It is not unusual for it take months to get an answer...

[tanmansmom]

TJ had zero prenatal care until his bmom was 5 months along and he is healthy as a horse. Babies take what they need.

[devildogwife]

My son's birth mom had very limited prenatal care. He was born critically ill with the most dangerous variation of congenital heart disease possible. If she had received adequate prenatal care, his CHD would have been caught and we could have planned much better for his arrival. She could have delivered at a different hospital and my son wouldn't have had to be life-flighted to another state and taken in for open heart surgery at 10 hours old. While he is doing okay now, his start to life was very, very rough.

[mondk]

Our bmom had Medicaid too and usually went to her doctor visits....towards the end of her pregnancy however, she missed a couple visits and said she forgot or went too late to get in etc. That made me a nervous wreck, but I'm just like that. Our Joshie is healthy and was a really good birth weight etc...but I know how you feel.

Blessings, Michelle

[Asha0314]

The birthmom of my daughter had absolutely no prenatal care, as well. She was born alittle premature, but otherwise healthy.

[TAmar7680]

Wow. This is helping out tremendously. Just hearing a few stories of people that had situations like the one we are dealing with now. We knew we were in for a long ride. It has really just taken its' toll lately. Thank you so far for all the replies. It helps.

[sbaglio]

Women are advised to get prenatal care for a reason. I suspect that all the stories of kids who turned out to be fine despite the bmom not getting prenatal care, are the norm, but it is cases like DDW's that prenatal care helps to prevent. And these cases are not rare.

Prenatal care involves so much:

-Labs (that can detect alpha-fetoprotein level, which indicates neural tube defects; hematocrit, which can indicate maternal anemia; urinalyses which can detect asymptomatic bacteriuria or proteinuria; GBS testing, which has an impact on the medical management of the bmother and child at delivery; detection of sexually transmitted infections and their treatment; detection of HIV, and the need for antiretroviral drug administration to the bmother to reduce the risk of mother-to-child transmission; and many, many other important labs tests)

-Radiographic imaging: ultrasounds that can detect congenital heart disease and allow for preparation and intervention when the delivery happens; ultrasound to detect renal abnormalities; ultrasound to detect the amount of amniotic fluid and risk for oligo/polyhydramnios.

-Interventions: Assessment of the need for amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling; detection of maternal hypertension and the need for medication, or early admission for monitoring; pelvic exams to check that the cervix is closed, and if not, assessment for the need for a cerclage and bedrest; assessment of fetal weight and heart rate, and need for interventions for these.

So...while it is great that so many have healthy kids in the setting of a lack of prenatal care, there are many cases where prenatal care can literally save the life of the child and of the mother. At minimum, it can help the parents and medical team prepare adequately for the child's arrival, rather than be in a situation like that DDW (and others) found herself in.