[Giulia2213]

Hi everybody
Is there here any hoping to adopt parent (sorry, my mother tongue is French and I don't know how to express it well) or adoptive parent with unilateral deafness ?
My ENT doctor told me that there is a risk to become more deaf if I get pregnent, so after having asked 2 other opinions, I leave the idea of a pregnancy without any kind of regret.
I can't wait to have the French legal age to adopt (28 years old and I am only 22) so in the meantime, I educate myself about adoption.


Regards

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

I don't know about the rules in your country, but in the U.S. it wouldn't be a problem.

[mrskt]

I agree - it really is dependent upon the country you live in... I work as an adoption worker for foster kids in Arkansas, USA - and for us it wouldn't be an issue. You would just have to show in your homestudy that you have plans to ensure care for kids if need be.

Katy

[Giulia2213]

Hi,
Thanks for your replies. It wouldn't be an issue even in France, but I'd like to know how people did talk about it during their homestudy.



Thanks a lot

[mrskt]

Well, let's see - right off hand, the last couple I've had - 1 mom had an assistance dog (her loss was pretty severe on one side, and mild on the other), another had flashing lights for her phone, smoke/fire/security alarms, and doorbells... just anything that shows your ability to care for yourself and the child in a way that is not inhibited by the disability... It really would depend on the level of need. If you have no problems at all hearing in one ear, there may not be any need for assistance at all.

Katy

[Giulia2213]

Thanks Kathy
I have no need for assistance. I have a hearing aid called BAHA (Bone Anchorage Hearing Aid) and it helps me tremendously.

In France, some people don't understand that I don't want to lose my hearing just to live pregnancy. How do I explain to people that hearing is more important than having a biological child ?


Regards

[crick]

Perhaps you could tell them

"I want to hear my child laugh, cry, and that little sigh when they sleep."

"When my child plays the piano, acts in a play, or sings a song, I want to hear every note."

But honestly...there's sometimes no point trying to make others understand something. Sometimes you have to simply say "It's really not any of your business".

[Giulia2213]

Thanks a lot Crick for your words

[Steph-Jason]

"Perhaps you could tell them

"I want to hear my child laugh, cry, and that little sigh when they sleep."

"When my child plays the piano, acts in a play, or sings a song, I want to hear every note."

But honestly...there's sometimes no point trying to make others understand something. Sometimes you have to simply say "It's really not any of your business"."
I agree 100% with this- it's more important to be - able to eperience the joys of parenting - which include hearing your child laugh for the first time, the first time he/she says "mama". It's only your business-you're the one that makes the decision to adopt- not anyone else. For the record- when we decided to end IVF treatments after the 4th time & persue adoption we had some outsiders (not family thank goodness) who didn't understand that we weren't going to try again. Sometimes you just have to ignore them!! Good luck to you!!

[DeafSiren]

I agree with all the above sentiments, but just wanted to add that one can be a completely happy parent without hearing! DH and I have proof of this every day (he is severe/profoundly deaf, I have unilateral deafness). Of course I understand not wanting to risk losing hearing for the sake of a biological child. No matter what, it is important to listen to your own heart and create your family the way you feel is right and just let go of those ignorant comments/advice/opinions you get from people.

Best Wishes!
L.

[Giulia2213]

Thanks DeafSiren for your kind words
Just a few questions without being indiscreet : is your unilateral deafness from birth ? Do you have a hearing aid ? Do they know the reason ?

Mine is from birth, I have a BAHA hearing aid and we have two hypothesis : Cyto-Megalo-Virus or Waardenburg syndrome.


Thanks again