[kapsure]

Do you think it would be a good idea to form a charity/non-profit organization that worked with agencies and others in the adoption community to give scholarships to birthmothers/first mothers after they've have placed?

Let me know what you think....

[veggiegirl]

I think this is a very good idea because I think a lot of first moms place either because they're currently in school or want to go to school to make a better future for themselves. I think it could be tricky though because it may come across as "you give me your baby, I'll give you an education" - sort of like making a trade for the baby.

[powderpiggy]

I personally like the idea although veggiegirl does make a good point. I guess it just depends on how you look at it and there are those people who will always read the negative side of things.

It seems to me that there is financial aid and scholarships available to single mothers, so in a sense firstmom's who place who are trying go to school could be considered financially penalized (in the sense that there may be less financial aid available than the aid provided to single parents).

I would support anything that would help DS's birthmom gain the tools that she needs to pursue the life she would like to have.

[lovemy2boys]

At first I thought the exact same thing as veggiegirl...

But now that I think about it, if it's a scholarship, they're not limitless...so if they offer, say, 5 scholarships a year (and I'm just throwing a number out - I have NO knowledge on how many scholarships of each type are given out per year) it's not like expectant mothers are going to be banking on being one of the 5 chosen, so I don't think it would really have much of an impact on their decision to parent or place...

But for those who have already placed, it would be an opportunity for them to qualify for a scholarship, so maybe it would be a great thing!

[aclee]

There are agencies that do this now...I can't remember which ones, but I came across several in my research.

[Stormster]

Maybe I'm not understanding this....it sounds coercive to me. What am I missing here...????

[belleinblue1978]

Originally Posted by kapsure

Do you think it would be a good idea to form a charity/non-profit organization that worked with agencies and others in the adoption community to give scholarships to birthmothers/first mothers after they've have placed?

Let me know what you think....

I don't think it is a bad idea, BUT to me a foundation that provided assistance in getting post adoption counseling for all sides of the triad would be more beneficial.

I am biased because I already had a degree when I placed my son. Finding affordable counseling is near impossible though.

[sbaglio]

The agency we used does this.

[Adopted-B-4]

Our caseworker helped our daughter's birthmother to find some scholarship foundations for birthmothers who have placed. She helped her after placement but it wasn't a promise to help prior to placement so it wasn't a coercive situation. I do agree though that a lot of birthmom's want to continue their education after placement so scholarships for them are a great thing.

[aclee]

Originally Posted by Stormster

Maybe I'm not understanding this....it sounds coercive to me. What am I missing here...????

The agencies that I came across that offered this very much marketed it as part of a whole "your life will be so much better once you reliquish you baby" package. Clearly, that's why we didn't use an agency that offered these types of "perks" for reliquishment. Yes...it was decribed that way on one occasion.

[thanksgivingmom]

I also have concerns about a foundation such as this. Like belle I had my degree before I placed as well. And it brings up the question, if the financial situation is only temporary and IS the primary reason for placement, wouldn't scholarships BEFORE placement be best for all involved, most importantly the child?

I don't know....I can see the motivation but I can see how it could be misread and misunderstood. I do agree that counseling for all sides would be great too.

[Stormster]

The needs of women who decide to relinquish vary. I think counseling should be available for life (AP's get a tax credit, there's money for it) but that there should not be other "incentives" to place. Feels too much like a reward to me.

[lahdh4]

There a number of scholarships all ready out there. I know from another forum I belong to that one of the girls has applied.
Agree with you Storm. I would rather help with counseling, since I was past the point of college. The agency I went through all ready had something, in the costs, that the aparents pay for the first 10(?) counseling sessions with the birthmom.

[aclee]

I agree...further more, if the reasons for placing are financial, and an education would change all that, there are a lot of financial aid programs and grants available. Helping them take part in those, and providing other resources that are not readily available would be better. I think life time couseling should be required by law. We paid for it for Ty's bfamily, so the agency in MO (which has been around longer than Catholic Charities) will always provide them with couseling, not only for M, but for R and their children as well. For all the $ we shelled out for his adoption, that is the money I think was best spent.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

Perhaps a way to avoid the possibility of coercion would be to make the scholarship available to any pregnant teen/young adult, regardless of whether she chooses adoption or not. You could still work through agencies as an advertising tool, but I don't think you could ethically make the scholarship available only to girls/women who consult with an agency. You could make it competitive rather than need-based (otherwise, the single mothers would have an advantage over those who choose adoption due to the added cost of caring for the child), and you could choose whatever competitive criteria you want (i.e. grades, community service, career goals, etc.).