[trixila]

Hi, my son just turned 9 and we are getting ready to give him the facts of life. His Catholic school will cover it in 4th grade (he is going into 3rd) but we feel his is prepared for some basic information. Would like to hear from other parents who have been down this road. I cannot control what he hears from older kids at day camp but it is clear that he is no longer a little boy. We are ready for his extra bonus questions about his own placement and the fact that my husband and I cannot have biological children. I would like it to be a private conversation between him and his father, but I would be close by. Comments?

[crick]

My son had this convo with his dad as he was embarrassed to have it with me at first. Dad simply gave him the facts of eggs & sperm at first with the workings of the body more or less. This was enough for my son at first. He didn't ask the "But how does the sperm fertilize the egg?" question til a bit later. When he did ask, he asked his Dad.

We've had more questions on pimples, wet dreams and the other changes we go through during this stage rather than the actual sex part of things. Right now at 11, he is grossed out by the sex part and while he's informed, he has no desire to be informed. lol. (we started basic facts of "details" around 9-10)

He also didn't like the female discussion but he got that one too at a different date. I personally have talked to him about respecting women's bodies, exploitation etc. and so has dad.

Basically we laid out facts and asked if he had questions. We found the questions didn't really come then, but later after he had some time to process and not be so embarrassed by it all.

[thanksgivingmom]

I think that the best way (as I say as I'm parenting no children) is gradual integration as they age like Crick suggests. I have TONS of neices and nephews and I've seen it done this way and I've seen it done with the close the eyes and ears and wait for high school health class to cover it all.

I was a tiny bit stunned the other day when my 18 month old nephew showed me that he could say (and find) his eyes, ears, nose, and penis. But his Mom teaches anatomical language at the same time she teaches other words. Then age appropriately integrates phases of life, as she did with his older brother. My bro is pretty squeamish and not real talkative so I'll be interested to see if he takes over when it comes to the actual intercourse portion of the lesson.

I think your biggest asset in this is going to be that you are already thinking about it and are PLANNING on having the talk. So many don't...my parents never did! Kudos to you and to all the parents that talk about the tricky stuff!!!

[bromanchik]

My kids started reading age-appropriate books or reproduction since 3. We've never had the big talk, just a bunch of small ones.

[finallyamom0310]

I have a teenage step son and believe it or not, my husband started in very simple terms at around 6 years old. Of course it was also due to the fact that his mother had another child.

I was lucky in that although it was a private conversation I was always close enough by to answer the other side of the questions when he asked. Of couse at your sons age, not sure he will ask you.

Good luck on this

[greenrobin]

We're members of the little conversations club. We have 3 adult kids who never had "the talk," just a bunch of age appropriate conversations whenever curiosity happened. We covered every topic that you can think of in this way. The kids were always comfortable with asking, we were comfortable with answering, so the whole event was a non-event.

[vegaschristina]

Another one for the little talks all the time camp. My kids are 2-3-5 and we've already started with them. At this age, it's mostly anatomical terms and that these are private areas that only Mommy, Daddy, Grandma or a doctor look at. And, the only time a doctor looks there is if Mommy, Daddy, or Grandma is there.

I've also had conversations with my nephew (16 at the time) in the condom aisle of the drug store about the differences in condoms available, lubricated or not, spermacide or not, and everything else. My parents were out of town, or they'd have done it. I made him buy some (drama involved, really!) The only thing I didn't do with the condoms was the whole banana thing...left that talk for my dad

[startedover]

My son got told in the 3rd grade by a kid who had failed twice. All the parents were standing at the Easter Party and one mom leans over to me and said "so did "a" tell your son the fact of life" I said no "j" would have told me. I leaned down to my son and said "did "a' tell you anything I should know" and he said "NO" I leaned back to the horra stricken moms that were trying to figure out how to handle their boys new found knowledge and very smirkily said "nope, sounds like I am in the clear" then my son leaned back with his blue iced lips and cake dripping from his chin and said "oh that". So on the way home I did the best to clear up any incorrect information (which this kid was pretty good at his job) and said as the car came to a stop and I opened the door looking for a way out "do you have any questions" to which he replied "what's a condom" I searched my head and thought "WHY did I bring a condom up, I could have left that for dad" but I shut the door and tried my best to explain the reason for condoms all the while I am realing in my head as how my husband got off not having to tell either of the children this talk when I once again open the door to escape and say "any more questions" to which he replied "does daddy use condoms" OMG. This is so unfair. So my gut tells me that yes, tell him now before some kid with too much information does it for you.