[Mama_K]

We are adopting our nephew who is 13 months old, bdad is my brother who's rights were TPR'd months ago. We are having a problem with him still thinking he is M's Dad. We have told him numerous times he no longer has any rights to M. He just don't get it- He thinks he can come here whenever he wants to see M (he lives 3 miles from us and we don't allow it) Since our talk with him he has cut back on coming but now is going to our daycare provider to see him. I'm sick to my stomach as the daycare provider just called and stated he was there again today. He is going behind our backs to get what he wants. I have called our SW and she never returns our call. I have informed the daycare provider when he comes again to call the police- is this going overboard? I don't know what else to do. The daycare provider stated that when he picks M up he is scared of him. Since he is in state care until the adoption can they put a restaining order on dbad? Thanks

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Yes, he can have a restraining order and can be arrested for violating court order because I am sure in his TPR papers it stated his contact availability and I am SURE it did not say he could go to daycare whenever he pleased or show up at your door on a whim.

If cw won't return calls, you have no choice but to call the police and perhaps them speaking to him will help.

Kim

[Yash]

I would also keep going up the chain of command until you talk to someone at DCF about this situation. Your brother has no legal rights in regards to your son. Definitely tell the daycare provider to not let him in, if that's possible, and to call the police every time he shows up. Like xx said, maybe the police talking to him will help reality sink in.

[court5505]

I would think the daycare provider would have every right to call the police if someone other than the parent is coming to the daycare and touching the child. I realize that it's a tricky situation since he is the bdad, but since the law states that he is not the parent, he should not be at the daycare.

[mg1970]

Here is a quote from your state's daycare licensing manual:

(b) The center shall permit parents to visit and observe at any time during the center’s hours of
operation, unless access is prohibited or restricted by court order.
The provider may lock the door for security.
Admission policy should include notification to parents that they are permitted to visit and observe
during the hours of operation. See HFS 46.04(2)(i)1.
When access is prohibited or restricted by court order, permission to call for the child may also be
affected. A copy of the court order should be on file at the center in the event that a parent whose
access is prohibited or restricted attempts to pick up or visit a child and law enforcement is contacted
for assistance.

Therefore I recommend you 1) make it clear to your daycare provider that your brother is not allowed access and 2) provide your daycare documentation of this and instruct them to contact the police. Most daycares would not attempt to get in the middle of this and will have a policy about calling law enforcement if someone that you have listed as unwelcome attempts to visit.

If your daycare facility refuses to react and you have provided them the necessary documentation you can contact your state licensing board.

I was just a little annoyed that one of my daycares allowed my FIL and SIL to visit one day when they were visiting from out of state waiting for us to come home. I have no concerns with my FIL or SIL, but my daycare provider didn't know that and we had not discussed this. They could have been anyone. They should have at least called me to let me know someone had come by to visit and made sure it was OK.

My new daycare has a keypad entry system. Every family has a unique code they use to enter the building and sign in/out their child. You can only get to the playgrounds via the building and there are strict security rules about visitors. Maybe you can search for a daycare with a better security system. PM me for the name of my daycare -- it is a national franchise (however expensive).

M

[Mama_K]

mg1970, thanks for the info- I will have a talk with the daycare provider, my daycare provider works out of her home, and knows the bdad, (ex sister-in-law), I have told bdad to stay away or I will change providers. (I really don't want to as M knows her and is comforable with her, but I will if need be.)

[aclee]

is the daycare provider a mandated reporter? She should be. Bdad's rights were TPR'd for a reason and they can't be good. The child is afraid of the bdad etc...she should be reporting this herself as a reporter. Tell her so.