[thanksgivingmom]

The "rewarding mediocrity" thing makes me think of the school districts that are not allowed to use red pens when grading students work because it's seen as being too harsh.

Seriously.

I remember this happening when I started to teach (although I taught college, where red pens were thankfully allowed) but I just thought it was such a silly thing to implement!

[Gwen72]

We don't have a baby yet, but when we get one there is a onesie with the Rolling Stones lips and tongue that matches the quite a few concert shirts that I have! Am I already a bad mom and haven't even adopted yet?

[Stormster]

Gwen don't worry, our baby regularly listens to Pink Floyd and Led Zep wears concert tees and dances every time he hears Bob Dylan sing!

I do watch the lyrics for profanity though some of the Reggae is a little "sexy" I haven't felt the need to censor that yet.

A little clean rock and roll is good for the baby soul!

[aclee]

When I was a Nanny to an infant (starting at 3 months old) as she got closer to a year, he first word after Momma and Dada...Tank Ewe. Her parents swore it was all me. She said her thank yous at her first birthday party.

One of my favorite quotes out of our homestudy was from my DH, when he was describing his family growing up. He was explaining how his parents were fairly easy going and that, "Being mischievous was occasionally allowed, but never disrespect." If my kids can look back and say that about my parenting...it will be a good start. He's a very well mannered guy to this day actually

[sbaglio]

One "trend" I don't agree with (maybe it's more than a trend to some) is piercing little babies ears as soon as they are delivered (well, maybe a little after that). I can't see the point of inflicting unnecessary pain on a child just so they look dolled up for us adults to coo over. With that and other things, we plan to wait until DD can decide for herself what she wants; she probably will want such things, but we won't make the decision for her.

I agree with not awarding "mediocrity" (for want of a better word). Perhaps my childhood was too harsh in terms of competition, but praise for playing hard in a rugby game was good enough. Not getting the trophy made you try harder next time.

Also, I don't have a child in school as yet, but if I see one more bumper sticker that says "My child made the Honor Roll at EasyPeasy Academy", I'm going to be sick! Are there really that many geniuses around, or are standards way lower than they used to be??

[crick]

Fadzi...LOL! The way to look at the bumperstickers is "investing in your child's future". See...tax dollars don't really pay for all that much in schools (have no idea where it goes, seriously don't) so they fundraise like heck. Those bumperstickers were likely $15 to pay for wikki sticks and red pens and if you pay that much for a sticker, you want to stick it somewhere, right?

I don't know...I never buy them.

[sbaglio]

Originally Posted by crick

Fadzi...LOL! The way to look at the bumperstickers is "investing in your child's future". See...tax dollars don't really pay for all that much in schools (have no idea where it goes, seriously don't) so they fundraise like heck. Those bumperstickers were likely $15 to pay for wikki sticks and red pens and if you pay that much for a sticker, you want to stick it somewhere, right?

I don't know...I never buy them.

LOL, I totally had NO idea! Well, at least I have a few years before my kid becomes an "honor student" as well for just $15!

[aclee]

a mother on one of my other groups just pieced her little girls ears, the baby was little older than Ty at about 6 months. She got little fake diamond studs put in and the mother posted the whole story with pictures for the other Mom's...the only response...

"Are you afraid she'll either choke or puncture the stem into her neck"...

so the Mom went off on us saying it was a cultural thing, and she would do WHATEVER she wanted with her daughter...yada, yada. Fine, but don't expect everyone else to be excited about it. Then at the end she says...

"Anyway, you guys are just all jealous because everyone still thinks your babies are BOYS, and they know mine is a beautiful little girl."

Yeah...well sometimes people think Ty is a girl...what the heck am I supposed to do about that? Have him go diaperless?

I love the bumper stickers that say, My (insert dog breed) is smarter than your honors student! HAHA!

[KatiesEd-dad]

I agree with every single one of them and try hard not to make those mistakes. Being in management where I work, I've seen first hand this attitude among the younger workers that all they need to do is show up and that should be good enough.

One I would add though is to instill a sense of personal accountability. We've drifted into a sense that it's always someone else's fault. No one's willing to stand up and say "Sorry, it's my fault. I won't do that again". If we could instill this in the next several generations, tort lawyers would go out of business.

I could rant and rave about this for hours, so I better stop!

[Fran27]

My take on rewarding mediocrity... I think it depends on the circumstances. If the kid really obviously did his best but still lost, praising is fine, as well as teaching that what matters is playing and not always winning... but I agree that 'rewards' is just over the top.

About music - the kids listen to what we listen to so far - Pink Floyd, REM, U2... Chris loves Pendragon. I have some lullabies CDs I need to start listening to though, I can't see myself singing 'Sunday Bloody Sunday' to them at bedtime

The one I'm failing at already is not mentioned, but it's the language thing. I'm trying not to swear but having a hard time. I just hope they won't pick up those words first... I talk to them in French all day though (not when dh is around), and I don't swear in French, so it's ok, right?

I'd never pierce my babies' ears. I'm totally against it. It's unnecessary, and they can decide to do it later if they want... But again, *I* don't have my ears pierced either...

I hate the bumper stickers. I've always thought there is a fine line between being proud and bragging, and it sure crosses it. If I ever get a bumper sticker, it will be 'my golden retriever is smarter than your honor student' (although my golden retriver is actually pretty stupid). Sorry but some kids are not very smart and are still great kids.

So anyway, mine are still too young, so I'm still in the 'I'll never do that' phase, but obviously, we'll see, lol!

[nikkianni]

Ah ear piercing. I don't get it either. My cousin did it and her reasoning was that her DD wouldn't remember that it hurt. OK. So....she's never going to stub her to or scrape her knee? Because those things run along the same lines pain-wise. The knee is probably even more painful.
My Mom's take on ear piercing was that when I was old enough to decide I wanted to do it and to take care of them myself, I could. I'm going with that for DD.
I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but DD doesn't listen to what we listen to. When she's in the car I put in a Sing Along CD and at home it's Baby Mozart usually. Very occasionally she'll listen to Country. Maybe I'm overcautious but I have a thing about my 4-year-old niece knowing the lyrics to racy songs, etc.
My BIL and SIL think it's cute. I feel nauseated. So I tend to go directly to the other end of the spectrum.

[oceanica]

The ear piercing is cute; but I'd be worried that she would get a big huge keloid scar on it that she'd have to live with for the rest of her life.. not worth it!

[crick]

Ed - great addition to the list! I totally agree with that one.

I think music as with anything else is just a personal preference really and depends on your own experiences with things. I'm married to a musician so our lives are impacted by music in ways others might not be.

I was a fanatic about video games. Hated them and honestly still do. Kids wanted one sooo bad and I was just adamant about not getting any of them. I relented after I realized just how ingrained it is in society though..not just the games themselves, but the whole technology aspect of things. I didn't grow up playing electronics, computers etc. so I don't place the same importance on it as the younger generations do. I'm stricter about it than a lot of my kids' friends parents but did realize that in a sense I was really hurting my kids socially by not allowing them to be a part of this aspect of life. I also had to relent on the internet and computer usage because they use it so much for school now.

[SupaModel]

My mom pierced our ears when we were babies. I will say you do have to worry about keloid with AA's. I don't but my mom does.

[Stormster]

Along the lines of Ed's "personal responsibility" post, I also think respect for others includes punctuality (MY pet peeve). I'm super laid back except when it comes to this

When I ran my company I had people (usually the younger employees) walking into work AT 9 (eating but that's another issue)

By the time they actually started WORKING it would be 20 minutes later. To me if the work day starts at 9, they should get there earlier, set up what they need, heck check your email and eat your breakfast but 9:00 means 9....

It's just a respect thing. And sometimes they had this annoyed look like they just couldn't believe THEY had to work! Ugh!