[Stormster]

DH and I were having an argument and I need a reality check. First of all his parents sent a big check to start off E's new money market account and I thought Oh thank goodness there's his preschool money (because as some of you know I have my heart set on Montessori for him). DH explained that this money is for college I said fine ok I understand if that is the intention that is the intention but we will need to start saving for preschool.

DH (who is British) said, I dont understand why he has to go to preschool. I told him that in this country almost every kid (esp. those not in daycare) go to preschool to help prepare them for kindergarten. He said he thought that's what kindergarten WAS....to prepare them for first grade...

He thinks I should alone be able to prepare him for kindergarden but even if I could, he has limited exposure to other kids (I try but it's still twice a week max for an hour or two). I don't want him walking into kindergarten straight from home without much more socialization!

My plan was half days Monessori starting at 2.5 (that way I ca also work part time). It's only two miles from home.

Do you guys think that's too young? What did you do? Is he right? I want him to have the best chance possible and even if he ends up at public school I feel strongly that a couple of years at Montessori can really set him up for a great experience! Not to mention how much he'll actually ENJOY it while he's doing it.

Side note: DH is also not allowing any religious schools Christian or Jewish or anything which is how I got into Montessori in the first place! All the preschools around here (well most) are held in houses of worship.

[inhiswill]

We did preschool 2 days a week 9-12. With DD we started at age 4, DS at age 3. To be honest, it was more for the play exposure rather than an educational experience. At the preschool age they learn through playing. So, I think that offerering play experiences is the best thing that parent can do for their child in the preschool age. Since we only did 2 mornings of preschool, we would always do library story time, and a park visit during the week too.

[DPline]

Can you contact your local school system and get some information on what is expected of a child going into kindergarten and what exactly they do/learn in kindergarten? So DH can have a good idea of what actually lies ahead.


At least where we live, kindergarten is like first grade was when I was in school (30 plus years ago.) They are learning to read and add and subtract! It is very academic. If kids don't go in knowing colors, letters, letter sounds, writing letters, counting, etc. they would really struggle. And in my kids' school, there is usually around 24-25 kids and one teacher and one para-pro. So there isn't much opportunity for one on one with a child who is struggling. Whereas in preschool, there is a max of 18 kids with two teachers and a lot of one on one. (Not that I am knocking our elementary school. I love it! But the one-on-one time just isn't there like it is in preschool.)

While I think I could probably get my kids ready academically to go to kindergarten, for them, it has been really important to do preschool and get used to that classroom setting before kindergarten. Used to listening to a teacher, working with the other kids, etc. I feel it would be/would have been very hard to never have any school experience when they started kindergarten. My kids do get quite a bit of socialization with other kids through playgroups and such, but I feel that it is much different than learning to be in a classroom setting. And my kids LOVE going to school!

I don't know that going at 2.5 is that important in my opinion, but that is just a personal feeling. My boys did 4 year old preschool, and my older son did go to Young Fives (a pre-kindergarten program for those that have late birthdays or just aren't ready for school) and my younger son will go this year. My daughter went to three-year-old preschool last year and will go to 4-year-old this year.

[finallyamom0310]

Storm, I am not sure if there is a really good way to get him to understand the differences. The only suggestions I can offer is to maybe take him with you to see the school. See how your child interacts with the kids and maybe see if E gets more outgoing when with the other kids. Maybe if your DH sees a change in E and the environment he will see it will give him a better start.

[Whirled_Peas]

Read "Einstein Never Used Flashcards." Amazon.com: Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn--and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less: Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Diane Eyer: Books

I bet when you read all the scientific evidence, you'll rethink pre-school. Studies were done of kids who are allowed to just play and kids who did academic preparation for kindergarten. Yup, the kids were academically equal when they got to K, but the academically prepared kids were not as creative and they had higher anxiety levels.

I've been doing a LOT of reading. Frankly, we're homeschooling. Homeschooled kids have BETTER SOCIALIZATION than kids in school. Who are their role models in school? A frazzled teacher with 30 kids and 30 out of control kids of the same age. Homeschooled kids are with a parent whose main focus is a very small number of kids. Plus, they spend most of their day going on field trips or meeting up with other homeschooled kids at the park or whatever. Parent is always around to make sure kid is okay and not being bullied, etc.

Read The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling
Amazon.com: The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling: Rachel Gathercole: Books

Now, here's where I start sounding REALLY radical. I've discovered something called "Unschooling." It's a child-led form of learning. It allows the children to be creative without demotivating them as schools typically do. Read The Unschooling Handbook.
Amazon.com: The Unschooling Handbook : How to Use the Whole World As Your Child's Classroom: Mary Griffith: Books

Gotta go, but let me know if you want more info. Perhaps my ideas are too out there for you, but after doing research, I think this route allows a child to learn the most, be motivated the most, and be the most satisfied with their life.

[Jo Ellen]

When our children were preschool age and younger I was teaching in a Mother's Day Out program through the church we attend. I was at the school but didn't teach our own children until our daughter was in Kindergarten and I taught the kindergarten class 1/2 a day the two days a week. Even when our children were in the pre K class we felt two days a week was plenty plus we were in a play group that met once a week from the time they were babies. Between the MDO, play group and the Bible classes they attended at church we felt they had plenty of time for socialization with other children. Some times too much isn't a good thing but that all depends on the child too. All you can do is try it and see how it goes. As with anything in life not all goes the same for everyone. Just my 2 cents.

[Fran27]

Whirled_Peas, it's interesting, however I don't agree about the socialization part. Sure, homeschooled kids are more protected, but is it necessary better? You won't be there to protect your kids when they start working and get bullied by their boss. Why couldn't you be your kid's role model just because they go to school?

I had quite a bit of activities as a kid, and made some friends that way, but it doesn't compare at all to the friends I made in school... Plus with gas prices I don't know how many parents will still be able to afford those field trips and meetings every day honestly.

Anyway, I'm sure you can find a lot of books that tell you how schooling is better than homeschooling too. I just don't buy it.

Either way, I'll put mine in preschool probably around 3... It's funny for your dh Stormster, I'm from France and all kids go to preschool.

[nikkianni]

I never thought I'd say this, but I may be old fashioned already.
I don't plan on sending any of my children to preschool. I started kindergarten when I was four. I already knew more than enough to pass the get-into-kindergarten-test. As far as socialization went well, two brothers, a best friend in the neighborhood and a ton of cousins. Done deal.
DD will have hopefully the same type of experience. The only thing that will change my mind is if she's still delayed enough at three to warrant some extra help in preparing for school. Then it'll be off to preschool.
Otherwise nope, no preschool.

[Stormster]

Fran - DH comes from a family that doesn't pay anything out of pocket that the government doesn't provide. They are very working class English ....still, we are going there in two weeks and I'm going to find out the story from my sister in law and her friends. I can't tell him the French do it because then forget it ....it will never happen

Truth is I am extremely accommodating as a wife and mother and don't make a fight about many things. I agree 5 half days at 2.5 might be early by a year or excessive at 5 half days a week but I am passionate about Montessori and I will make it happen!
Trust me.

I also want to add to those of you who are home schooling I would be the single worst home schooler AND E is an only child. Really I do think he's going to get mighty bored of me eventually!

[1nfaith]

I teach gifted and talented kindergarten to 5th grade students. I believe that you can get your child ready academically for Kindergarten. BUT preschool gets them ready socially and ready to "play" school. What I mean is to listen to the teacher, sit when need to, raise thier hand, stand in line and most importantly, play with other children. I beleive that preschool is a MUST, even if you only have a few days a week your child can go- they will learn some VERY important social & school skills that you just can't teach on your own. As a teacher you can always tell wich students have had preschool and which have not. Good luck- that is just this teachers point of view.

[crick]

This is just my opinion..no studies to back me up, just my 4 kids' experience and their peers.

2.5 is too young for preschool in my opinion, unless it's a play structure based school. Sure, there will be colors and basics included in any school, but if the school is really geared towards academics, I'd pass.

Like others have said, kindgergarten is light years ahead compared to when we went. They do start serious academics at this point and they'll even have homework most likely. Think about that...homework at age 5. I understand the pressure, but I really feel by the end of kindergarten, most kids if not all will be where they need to be or ahead. (Unless there's a learning disability like my youngest has)

Because of this, and how I've seen my kids do so far, I really really encourage all the playtime they can get before they go off to school.

I do believe preschool is important, namely for the reasons listed above...the social prep, sitting in class etc. I just don't see the point in starting a child in an academic stressed program before kindy. They have 12 plus years ahead of them for that and so few years to really just be free to be a KID.

In case you are wondering...

All my kids went to preschool at age 4/5. I have a 6th, 5th, 4th & 3rd grader. My 3 older ones have all done very well and there's no lag behind with them not having the 3 plus years of preschool. I worked on colors, letters, etc. with them all prior to preschool and during.

(My youngest has dyslexia, so that would not have been changed with more or less preschool at all.)

Everyone does what they feel is best and my way is not better etc. More than anything I want to stress that you not feel so pressured to have your child be an Einstein Genius at age 3 because in the end, it's just not worth all that stress, imo.

[aclee]

I agree with Crick, I think 2.5 is too young for preschool, specifically Montessori. I think a play based environment is all a child needs till they are over 3 or even closer to 4, depending on how their birthday falls. I think 1 year of preschool is enough for Kindergarten. That being said, I don't think that preschool is essential if you have a child that is socialized and worked with educationally at home. My sister is a first grade teacher, and she gets kids into 1st grade that have never done preschool or Kindergarten, and they are able to move right onto second grade completely caught up. If the basics are there (colors, number recognition, counting, etc) it really isn't far from there to the rest of the skills in Kindergarten. I've seen children with 2 years of preschool go into Kindergarten and are bored out of their minds with no real "learning" to be done, so they end up acting out. With the no child left behind mandates, teachers end up working on problem students more than advanced students. We all want out children to do well, but sometimes having them be the smartest in the class can bite us in the back side. Children do better when they are learning new skills rather than reviewing things they already know.

Best of luck!

Edit to add if I had relatives that gave $ for education, it would be for college, not preschool. Over the long haul of your child's life, college will make a way larger impact than additional or even ANY preschool. I would give a lot not to have as many college loans as I do.

[Stormster]

Thanks Crick, Aclee, everyone....

I'm was under the impression that Montessori Pre-school is all about play. I'm going to re-check that and visit a class as well.

I know that in other countries with better educational systems the children enter school later and play longer so I'm a big believe in that....I guess I kind of wanted to socialize him and have him out of the house a few hours a day as well so I could work a little....but now I'm def. rethinking doing so at that early age.

But yes yes to play....I'm all about that. That's what I love about Montessori. The style is much less "lecture oriented" and much more spacially oriented.

Thanks again I'm getting a lot of ideas from this thread!

[Fran27]

I always thought preschool was maybe 2 hours twice or three times a week? Yikes, i really don't know anything about the academic system here.

How much does it typically cost?

[Whirled_Peas]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Whirled_Peas, it's interesting, however I don't agree about the socialization part. Sure, homeschooled kids are more protected, but is it necessary better? You won't be there to protect your kids when they start working and get bullied by their boss. Why couldn't you be your kid's role model just because they go to school?

We all have to do what we feel is best for our kids. I don't see how being bullied at 6 does anyone any good. Frankly, if I'm bullied on a job, I leave (not that anyone would bully me. I will be a much better role model for my son in that regards than anything he could learn in school.)

My original post was fast because I had to get to work. I'd highly advise any parent to read The Well Adjusted Child. Not to promote homeschooling, but rather to give you ideas on the range of options that exist for socializing. I want my child well socialized. The kids interviewed in this book who went to both school and homeschool all said that they got more time with friends in homeschooling because in school they had to sit in their chairs, raise their hands, and were disciplined for talking to friends. Granted, the author wasn't likely to put kids in the book that preferred school over homeschooling. But after reading the book, I came away from it with a different idea on what I think good socialization is all about.