[srhbj]

Hi everyone. My daughter's miniature pony died last evening. She is having the hardest time with it. We've had her for almost 7 years, and Suzy was just like a part of our family. She was not even 3 feet tall, and always followed us around just like a puppy dog. I honestly think she thought she was just like our golden retriever, because she truly would follow us everywhere in the yard we would go. And you didn't dare sit down or she would nearly sit right on top of you wanting attention.

It breaks my heart to see my daughter hurting. Our animals are so much like our family. We get soooo attached to them. I'm even going to miss her. It seems so odd not having her out in the field today.

Any ideas on how to make losing a pet easier for a child (she's 14 so she understands death) to cope with? We buried her in her field where she loved to stand under the shade tree. It's just so quiet today without that little whinny. Kind of put a damper on our 4th of July.

[Tigger2]

I am soooo sorry! My nephew lost his favorite horse 2 years ago and it was the most heart wrenching time.

There is a great children's book The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst that deals with the loss of a beloved animal. I know that it has helped my nephews and neice.

My heart goes out to you!

[CaddoRose]

So sorry to hear that. As long as she knows this is the way things are and that you celebrate and remember your family member for all the funny things she did, how you'll never replace her and she wouldn't want you to continue to be so sad for her passing that you can't be happy again. She's in your hearts forever.

My DD still talks about our cat, Punkin, who passed away some yrs ago. That cat sat in her crib and protected our baby like she was her own. Our DD loves to tell that story. DD says the Punkin is in heaven looking down on us and all our other cats. She's not here with us in person, but in spirit now.

If it would help her, put a memorial where she is buried so your daughter can place flowers there, or just go talk to her. Just because they are height-challenged and are covered in fur doesn't mean they don't hold the same place in your lives as taller people.

[binkybear]

I'm so sorry for you and your daughter, losing a pet is so tough when they become like little family members. The grief is just as real as any other. I lost my best buddy a couple of years ago and creating a special garden area in her outside "spot" helped.

Maybe your daughter would like to create a specail little garden area near the shade tree. (even container planting is simple and easy to maintain). Butterfly gardens are so pretty. You can google it and find the right flowers and plants to create. Planning the garden, picking out the plants, planting them and caring for them may help your daughter with working through her very real feelings of loss. Then again she could be terribly allergic to flowers and hate gardening! I guess a little project that helps her remember and honor her pet while feeling like she did something special for her pet. Some sites even suggest making a donation in the pets name to a animal rescue.

[SupaModel]

Losing a beloved pet at any age is so hard. Im so sorry for your family.

My heart breaks for you guys.

[mg1970]

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this hard fact of life.

Give her time and don't try to rush her grief. It takes time to grieve something you loved very much -- for all of us.

Don't don't try to diminish her pain by saying "it's only an animal" or anything like that.

Don't expect her to "just snap out of it".

Don't rush her to the child psycologist and put her on antidepressants if takes months for her to get over it.

Here are some other tips on grief:

Helping / Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving

M

[srhbj]

Tigger - thank you so much for the book reference. I will definately check it out.

Binky - thank you for the suggestions. She's already put flowers from our flower garden there.

Supa - I appreciate the comments. It's been a very emotional weekend.

Originally Posted by CaddoRose

Just because they are height-challenged and are covered in fur doesn't mean they don't hold the same place in your lives as taller people.

This is so true!!!!!!! I've had just as difficult of a time dealing as my daughter has. I guess you just don't realize how special and important they are in your lives until they are no longer there.

I've heard so many people say, "Oh they are only pets". Not in our family. They are every bit as much loved as anyone else.

My daughter has spent extra time with her other horses this weekend. I suppose that is helping her heal as well. It's just so hard to see one of the group missing. She was truly one of a kind.

Thank you all again for your kind thoughts. I suppose the only way not to have to grieve over the loss of a pet, is not to have them at all. But then, we would miss out on all the fun and love they bring us. Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for listening.

[Gwen72]

I'm so sorry for your families loss. I've had my dog 12 years. It's the longest and best relationship I've ever had with a "man". My cats are 13 and 14 years old and I love them like crazy too. I can only imagine what you are going through and I'm sorry that all I can do to make it better is this:

[dragonfly1234]

I am so sorry about your loss!

When we loss our dog we talked alot about heaven and that heaven is the stars(just something that I thought a 4 year old would understand). My son and I spent many nights looking at the stars and trying to guess which one was Montanna.

It will take time to get over the loss of a loved aminal. My son still will talk about our dog and that was 4 years ago.

Be patient and lots of hugs will get you both thru this hard time.

[4everwaiting]

Great advice posted!

I just wanted to say how sorry I was for the loss in your family!

Lossing a friend is hard- time will make it better. Give her time to grieve as this is a very painful time right now!

Sandra