[jalapeno]

Before we had children, I thought maybe three would be a good number. Now we have our three! And both my DH and I are starting to fantasize about another child someday. Money wouldn't be our primary issue with another adoption although it would have to be a consideration. The main thing right now is lack of time for another child. The other big issue is my own trepidation in going through fost/adopt again. But maybe with a few years of emotional healing . . .!

I absolutely agree that states and agencies placing a number limit on children is ridiculous. We've come across our share of silly/sad policies locally as well. Too often (well, once is too many really) what's best for the child/children is lost or dismissed in the name of 'policy'. Very sad.

[sissyminsky]

Honestly, I thought four.

Then, I compromised to three.

But, I really think this will be the end for us, money or no. Lots because of money - I teach at a private school (starts with toddler age) and my "discount" mostly covers #1, but #2 will be out of pocket.

However, I really caved because of the "activities."
We have about a 45 min commute to and from work each day. A has allergy shots one day (at least 45 min) and two days of violin lessons after school (again they will take about 45 min of our time each). Add one late night meeting every week for my work... We're already running out of nights. I can manage my time well, but only if I have time, right?

[srhbj]

After we are successful with this adoption, I would love to adopt one more child. But, unfortunately, money will probably prevent that from happening. The funny thing is, we have enough to support another child, it's the initial cost of the adoption fees and attorney fees that make it next to impossible. It is a shame that there is such a high price on being able to fulfill ones family and make them complete. I would love to adopt internationally also, and if the money were to fall into my lap (I don't even play the lottery, LOL), I would definately pursue that as well.

[startedover]

I got married wanting 4 to 5 kids. Infertiliy and two decades later , I have to say if money was no object I wouldn't change a thing. I have 3. The first are 6 years apart and then 13 years later number 3. I thought when I got married I wanted them all close (and would have had if I didn't have the fertility issues) but God knew exactly what was best for my family. I loved that all my kids got my undivided attention until they started (start) school. At least for 8 hours a day. I figure at this point there will probably be about a 6 to 7 year gap between my last child and my first grandchild. God willing I make it to see them, what a wonderful way to life. Children of all ages in my life.

[journeytolily]

As a teenager, I wanted 12 children!! Of course, the number did go down thru the years, but I have always wanted a large family.

We are working on #3 now, and that will be it for us. It's a real stretch this time for us financially. BUT...if money were no object... I would really like to have 4 or 5. Well, due to my age, probably 4 would be it. Hey, who knows, maybe we'll get twins this time around!

[Tunay4754]

I grew up as one of three children but all of my aunts and uncles on my Moms side had four or five children each family, so I like a big family. We currently have 2 toddler boys and I would like to have 2 more children (would be nice to have two girls but I don't think we will request a gender) that are close in age to each other but not right away because my current 2 pretty much take all my energy on a daily basis.

Also cost will be a factor for us because we are in a 2 bedroom apartment now and will have to move before we adopt again and the upfront cost of adoption is challenging for us but hopefully we can borrow funds from one of our parents if we just can't do it on our own.

Tunay

[BlessedbySnuggs]

Wow, looks like a missed a lot yesterday afternoon!

Thanks for everyone's replies. It has been fun to read them.

We definitely have enough money to raise and support children, its just coming up with the initial fees for everything that is hard.

Maybe I should really look into playing the lottery! LOL

[nikkianni]

I guess I really didn't think of it, but the point about having the resources to raise more but no the up front ability to adopt is a good one.
When I say that money would be an issue, that's what I mean. We could probably afford four, while praying they got scholarships for college, lol. But even with our agency's very reasonable fees, we still won't be able to afford to adopt more than three times. Maybe not more than two depending on expenses.

[BlessedbySnuggs]

Yep, it's pretty sad isn't it.

For our first one, we were very lucky that we had savings and a nice little loan from ma and pa! LOL

But we also borrowed some money from our 401K to make it all happen. DH is paying it back out of each paycheck for the next couple of years. It's just difficult, all and all, we spent a lot of money from paying the adoption fees, to the finalization, with lots in between! Again, it was all 100% worth it, but it makes me sad that we may not be able to do it again, all because of the costs associated up front.

We'll try to find a way, but who really knows. Maybe in a year or two we'll know more. Heck, once DH is done paying back his 401K loan, maybe we'll borrow some more!

[FullQuiverMamma]

If money were no object, I think I would have adopted internationally, however, after waiting forever for the county, I am blessed to have our little angel in my arms today. We have already had a bottle, a nice, breakfast, a poopy diaper and some laptime while mommy is on her laptop.

I still think at some point, we would like to get an Ethiopian sib set or some true orphans that hve nobobdy.

[elledarcy]

I would want 3 total (either bio or adopted). We are pretty financially stable, so I don't think adopting three times would be a big, big problem (though it would involve sacrifices).

I guess DH and I are more worried about going through the adoption process two more times. Would we have patience to go through the waiting process three times? We would have the energy to maintain three OA's with three different sets of birthparents (if that's how it worked out)? It would be like riding three different emotional rollers coasters at the same time Yikes! Even now it’s making my head spin.

[finallyamom0310]

Blessed and all those still reading this post, it is just a suggestion but check with your state agencies. We are going to go through the state for our second adoption (still a few years away) as they cover the costs. There is usually a longer waiting period for infants but if you are like we plan to do, adopting an older child the second time around, then there isn't much cost with some states. They take care of the homestudy, post placement, etc. Our state even has programs for college expenses if we adopt through the state.

[Casey677]

We have three kiddos. Right now they are all very young and we are pretty happy with three (although I do wish they were spaced out a bit more) and are calling ourselves done. Our kids really do monoploize all of my time at this point (I am a SAHM). But I told dh that I am reserving the right to change my mind in a few years. Even if money were no object, I wouldn't adopt more than one more time, I need to preserve my sanity, lol.

[missw005]

I, too, was in the 12 or more kids category when I was growing up...........
But now I'm definitely in the 5-10 mode! At least 5.
I'm in special needs/waiting children - as well as being a foster parent - but currently just have my two boys. I really would love to adopt a sibling group!
And I'd like to adopt 1 baby - no newborns, please - in my lifetime.
I grew up in a primarily Catholic community, and we were the strange family with only 2 kids!!! I loved playing at my friends' houses, with tons of brothers and sisters to play with.
I'd love to have a large family! Lots of kids, big Sunday dinners, the whole shebang.

Unfortunately, it's not quite going as I planned.

And if money was no object, I'd hotfoot it down to a private adoption agency for a baby - or TWINS!

Let alone a housekeeper and cook! Woo Hoo!!!!!!

Sandy