[4everwaiting]

So yesterday after my post I was away from my computer and missed the latter part of this thread...

I live in 100% cc town, because I was born here as was my mother and her parents before her... I am 4th generation from this small town-we are very proud of where we were born and raised. Probably a third of the people in this town are related in some way, the others have been close friends of the family for generations...

We could move and live anywhere we want, however we choose to live and stay here because of the location (we are home) not because of the skin color of the people that are here...


Most of the people here would give you the shirt off their back-without asking for anything in return, no matter what your skin color. If you were in need they would help!

We were born and raised on the coast- we want our children raised on the same waters that their grandparents were- we want them to experience many of the same things that we did as children to learn their environment- to explore, to fish from piers, shore, docks and boats to swim in our rivers, lakes, bays and gulf... We want them to be happy, explore their surroundings have fun in live without worrying who may take them as they're walking or riding their bicycle down the sidewalks or skim boarding at the beach as they would in a big city...
We want the safety that a small close knit community offers.

We want coastal living for our children! We want them to have roots in their community a strong rich history they can be proud of. Here they will have that because they will be ours!

S

[KarynB]

I have to agree that I find it really crazy that the two options being presented here are "diversity" which means crime, gangs, and drugs or "non-diverse" which means white, safe and happy. How sad.

Supa - you said something about people putting money where their mouths are and would they actually move. YES. We actually moved - and we've turned down jobs in small towns, and overseas in countries that are well known for racism towards the black community. My husband was unemployed when we turned down a job in a small town because we just knew it would not be a good place for our boys - when we made the decision to become a multi-cultural family, we made the decision to keep them in a cultural diverse area. Period. It's not about affording it or not - if you had a child who needed to be closer to a hospital due to a disease, etc you would find the money to do it. Why is this seen as any less important than that?

I also grew up in a rough neighbourhood (although I doubt it was as rough as the place you describe Supa) - but still choose to live in a diverse area - to me the two are not connected.

4everwaiting - I understand what you are saying, and no one is saying you should move if you love your community. It sounds fantastic! But just because you love it and it is right for you as a CC couple (I am totally assuming here - so please correct me if I am wrong), doesn't mean it would be right for a black child. JMO, though.

[KarynB]

Sorry - also wanted to add - there was a case here in Canada (Saskatchewan, I think) a month or so ago where the children were removed by social services because the parents were extreme racists and sending them to school with swastikas etc on their shirts. It caused quite an uproar - not sure what the ultimate outcome was!

[nikkianni]

See, I didn't really read Supa's original post as if she were making it an either or type of thing.
It was just a part of her life that led to the decision she's made about where she's comfortable living.
I suppose I could've missed the point, but I thought that's what it was.

[SupaModel]

[quote=nikkianni]See, I didn't really read Supa's original post as if she were making it an either or type of thing.
It was just a part of her life that led to the decision she's made about where she's comfortable living.
QUOTE]

Nikki- That was my point exactly.

I'm telling you emails, texts and post are all subject to interpretation. That's why I discuss important things with friends in person or over the phone

[4everwaiting]

Karyn, thanks that's exactly the way I feel... My dh and I are cc and we could and would love a child of any color, however the cc community may not be as open to race as we are... Therefore because of the area that we live we chose to adopt cc... Not because of what or how friends or family may treat us, we are strong adults that can stand up for our choices but children can't and shouldn't have to. We can only watch and protect our children when we are present- there will be times that we wont be there such as during school, at daycare etc. Those are times that I worry they would be treated differently if of a different race...

Yes, even in our town there are drugs and crime-but the rate is low in comparison to that of larger communities.

I'm not implying or saying because we live in an all cc town it is safer. What I am saying is that we live in a small close knit community not a big city. Many relatives and close family friends live here-I feel our child would be more free to explore, learn and play here- without me worrying (as much) when they walk out the door...

This is a touchy subject for many and everyone has a right to raise their family the way they choose and where they choose. We all pick our battles so to speak, mine is not race- I love everybody no matter their color!
I am no better than or anyone no better than me- we are all equal in our hearts...

I come here to learn and interact with people from everywhere-I am a people person ~) I have learned so much from this forum and grown in so many ways by reading the other side-not just my side or points of view.

Thank you all for your input!


Sandra

[TheMomma08]

I would never put a child in this situation, as the child has already been through enough. Even if family watched their mouths the child will sence their views.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by BethanyB

People are saying it's not easy to get up and move. So don't. I don't have a problem with that. BUT don't say it's hard either because I did it and it's it was not hard. Don't say it's not important because it is to some.

I think you got mistaken somewhere, I didn't knock people who decided to move... I think it's great that they can, I'd just like people to realize that it's not always a possibility.

I've moved four times, so I have an idea of when it's hard and when it isn't. When you have maybe $10000 saved up, and one of your car is getting old and needs to be changed, and all the houses you could afford are in pretty bad areas, and smaller than ours, I'd call it hard to move, personally. Obviously if we were rich it would be pretty easy!

Frankly though, we would look at something close to dh's job, with good public schools (can't afford private), and in nice area for walks. And because of our (barky) dogs, we'd need an individual property. So, it would be hard enough finding a house that works out, and if it's mainly a CC area (like 90% of the places around here really), so be it. I'm not going to take my kids to crappy schools and pester my neighbors with barky dogs just to live in a diverse area. I didn't grow up in a diverse area, yet I had friends of other races, and I didn't turn racist, so I'm sure we can do the same with our kids.

[TxMom65]

I have a few thoughts on this. I know a couple who is looking to adopt and just completed all paperwork. Their agency told them that it would move faster if they would accept AA/BR babies. She asked if she was racist because she didn't mark it first, and would it be fair to change it now? She didn;t know if she could do justice to an AA child in teaching them their heritage, ect.

We adopted an older child from foster care. She is CC but my family is racist. My parents will censor themselves around her, my brother not so much. She is never ever left with them and we are only around them about 3 times a year. It hurts me that they are so stupid. Why don't I cut them out of my life?

I probably should, but I guess it is like foster kids who are removed for abuse but still love their birth families. I still love them even though I could strangle them. My daughter will never spend the night there, or have much to do with them. Not what I pictured for my kids when I was young.

[elledarcy]

Originally Posted by lovemy2boys

Hi Elle,

In an attempt to bring this back around full circle, have you brought your concerns to your families attention?

I plan on doing this soon. My DH thinks we should just go for it, but some of the issues raised in this post make me think we need to make sure that our families are on board first.

As far as the neighborhoods to live in... we live in a quasi-diverse community (not so much AA, but there are many people of other faiths and ethnic backgrounds that would mix with our children in school). We chose our neighborhood for a lot of reasons and I really wouldn't want to move.

I think most parents would move or try to make other arrangements if they felt their child was not fitting in at school. If bullying or harassment were a serious issue, you’d probably do the best you could to get your child out of that situation. Just because your school is not as diverse, do not automatically mean an AA child will not fit in or make friends.

[vernellinnj]

Originally Posted by elledarcy

Just because your school is not as diverse, do not automatically mean an AA child will not fit in or make friends.

IMO, children do not build the best self esteem when they do not have someone who looks like them to model. I'm not saying that person has to be a parent; but the images should be positive, consistent and purposeful. And, as the world will see the child as AA he/she should be taught all that comes with that...the rich history, heritage, etc. Sadly, an AA boy should be taught how to act when approached by police..yes, the NAACP actually teaches this to young AA children as they stand the chance to be pulled over and killed at a much higher rate than non-AA. I wonder if young CC boys are taught this too? The society we live in still has a way to go when in comes to race and class. Sorry...I digressed (sp)


I suppose a good question to ask is, "would I want to be the only CC person in an all African-American environment 99% of the time? Best wishes to you and your family, no matter what you choose!!!