[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by Yash

Fran,

I will post here and say that I do think it's a form of racism when people only want to adopt a child of their race. And I find it abhorrent when Christians say this. When Christians say this, this line from a song runs through my head. "Tell how can I love Jesus when I've never seen His face, yet I see you crying and I turn and walk away."

People strongly disagree with me about it and have told me I was wrong, but I'm not. A baby, a child needs a family but you turn them down or won't allow your profile to be shown because of the color of their skin, if that's not racism I don't know what is.

I know we aren't perfect and we all sin, but we should call a spade a spade and not make excuses.

Yeah but what do you call people who gender select?
What about people who turn down special need?
What about people who only adopt international when there are children in US?
What about people wanting a newborn?

The list goes on. I think calling out racism is a bit harsh.

[binkybear]

Um, if I'm about to be cast into the racist boat than I'm going to have to be strong enough to make a comment.

Being strong enough to face anything is to be commended. I'm strong enough to know what is and is not going to work within my life and my reality AND my truth. I'm not out to be anything other than the best parent and mother I can be. I haven't taken a single piece of this journey lightly. But to think that I have a choice and then I might be looked at differently (called a blinkin' racist) because of a choice I smartly and strongly made for my family, especially a child (????)

At what point do we begin casting judgment upon those not strong enough to parent factors outside of race? Why stop there, let's just line 'em up and knock 'em down. Sheesh I've never seen a place like this!

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by Yash

Fran,

I will post here and say that I do think it's a form of racism when people only want to adopt a child of their race. And I find it abhorrent when Christians say this. When Christians say this, this line from a song runs through my head. "Tell how can I love Jesus when I've never seen His face, yet I see you crying and I turn and walk away."

People strongly disagree with me about it and have told me I was wrong, but I'm not. A baby, a child needs a family but you turn them down or won't allow your profile to be shown because of the color of their skin, if that's not racism I don't know what is.

I know we aren't perfect and we all sin, but we should call a spade a spade and not make excuses.

See, the difference with me and other people is that I'm fine knowing that I'm not racist. I don't have to make a child miserable just to prove it to the whole world.

[Cjmeck]

Originally Posted by Yash

Fran,

I will post here and say that I do think it's a form of racism when people only want to adopt a child of their race. And I find it abhorrent when Christians say this. When Christians say this, this line from a song runs through my head. "Tell how can I love Jesus when I've never seen His face, yet I see you crying and I turn and walk away."

People strongly disagree with me about it and have told me I was wrong, but I'm not. A baby, a child needs a family but you turn them down or won't allow your profile to be shown because of the color of their skin, if that's not racism I don't know what is.

I know we aren't perfect and we all sin, but we should call a spade a spade and not make excuses.

Listen, people do not all adopt to serve the Lord. They do not all adopt because they are humanitarians. People adopt because they want a child to love. They want to provide the best life possible. Being COLOR-BLIND does an enormous disservice to the child. You may be color-blind, and I may love my daughter whether she is black, white, green or purple. But the fact is, society is not. And I don't think I should play martyr with my child as the lead in the freaking parade to solve an age-old issue. I tackle race related issues in my own life and that of my children; but I would never in a million years expect my child to be my medal to show I'm not a racist. Who are you to judge? Don't we all have a God who judges us?? I cannot believe you think it is alright to call somebody racist who you do not even know. That is cruel and unjust.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by Cjmeck

Listen, people do not all adopt to serve the Lord. They do not all adopt because they are humanitarians. People adopt because they want a child to love. They want to provide the best life possible. Being COLOR-BLIND does an enormous disservice to the child. You may be color-blind, and I may love my daughter whether she is black, white, green or purple. But the fact is, society is not. And I don't think I should play martyr with my child as the lead in the freaking parade to solve an age-old issue. I tackle race related issues in my own life and that of my children; but I would never in a million years expect my child to be my medal to show I'm not a racist. Who are you to judge? Don't we all have a God who judges us?? I cannot believe you think it is alright to call somebody racist who you do not even know. That is cruel and unjust.

Wonderful post, could not have said it better. Thank you.

And I'm not religious, by the way!

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by Cjmeck

Listen, people do not all adopt to serve the Lord. They do not all adopt because they are humanitarians. People adopt because they want a child to love. They want to provide the best life possible. Being COLOR-BLIND does an enormous disservice to the child. You may be color-blind, and I may love my daughter whether she is black, white, green or purple. But the fact is, society is not. And I don't think I should play martyr with my child as the lead in the freaking parade to solve an age-old issue. I tackle race related issues in my own life and that of my children; but I would never in a million years expect my child to be my medal to show I'm not a racist. Who are you to judge? Don't we all have a God who judges us?? I cannot believe you think it is alright to call somebody racist who you do not even know. That is cruel and unjust.

YES...YES... YES!!!

[mommy2fiveplus]

I do not think it is easier to adopt a BR/AA child. Cheaper (unfortunately because we live in a really screwed up society)? Yes. Faster? Yes. But easier? No way! I think it is far EASIER to walk into a rural wal-mart with your CC (if you are also CC) child and NOT get stared at or have comments made under the breathes of bigots. And to Fran's comment on the agency who did not require transracial education- that agency did not make those adoptions easier, just the opposite they made 100x harder.

There is no place where people can live completely free of racism, all of our kids will come into contact with it at some point in time. It is wise to concider if you want that brush with racism to involve the comment of a family member against the race of your child.

I HATE the $ disparities between CC/BR/AA and hispanic adoptions. It makes me sick! OUr adoptions occured through foster care so it isn't a personal thing just a looking on the outside in thing, and it really bothers me.

I guess it bothers me also that some people will choose to go the CC only route the first time but be open to other races the second go-around. I know people probably arn't thinking this way but it kinda seems like "I got what I really wanted the first time, so now I guess I will settle". Not really sure why it bothers me, just kinda rubs me wrong.

1,000's of AA/BR babies are adopted out to other countries (Canada, Netherlands, Sweden) FROM the US because many American adoptive couples are not prepared or feel compelled to adopt transracially, sometimes those very couples are willing to adopt from other countries though?

Don't me to offend anybody, just some thoughts I was thinking.

[Yash]

I think people are called specifically to adopt internationally or to adopt special needs children, etc...

But if you're adopting a child domestically from this country, you should be open to any race.

It may be harsh to say its racism, but that's what it is. We may not like to think it and we may pretty it up, come up with excuses, but at the end of the day a choice is made based on the color of someone's skin.

Originally Posted by SupaModel

Yeah but what do you call people who gender select?
What about people who turn down special need?
What about people who only adopt international when there are children in US?
What about people wanting a newborn?

The list goes on. I think calling out racism is a bit harsh.

[Yash]

It seems as a society, we have created a world full of grey instead of a world where things are either wrong or right, black or white. And in such a world, when the truth is spoken it is seen as judgement or criticism.

Originally Posted by binkybear

Um, if I'm about to be cast into the racist boat than I'm going to have to be strong enough to make a comment.

Being strong enough to face anything is to be commended. I'm strong enough to know what is and is not going to work within my life and my reality AND my truth. I'm not out to be anything other than the best parent and mother I can be. I haven't taken a single piece of this journey lightly. But to think that I have a choice and then I might be looked at differently (called a blinkin' racist) because of a choice I smartly and strongly made for my family, especially a child (????)

At what point do we begin casting judgment upon those not strong enough to parent factors outside of race? Why stop there, let's just line 'em up and knock 'em down. Sheesh I've never seen a place like this!

[Yash]

I didn't say you or anyone who makes the decision to only adopt children of certain races a racist, but that decision is a form of racism.

Originally Posted by Fran27

See, the difference with me and other people is that I'm fine knowing that I'm not racist. I don't have to make a child miserable just to prove it to the whole world.

[Yash]

I understand not all people are Christians so to those who aren't my statement seems judgemental, harsh. But maybe you think that because the Christians in your see, say they love Jesus in one breath and in the next breath say how they can't and/or won't adopt a child of a different race.

The biggest cause of atheism are Christians, who acknowledge God with their mouth and then walk out the door and do something else.

Originally Posted by Cjmeck

Listen, people do not all adopt to serve the Lord. They do not all adopt because they are humanitarians. People adopt because they want a child to love. They want to provide the best life possible. Being COLOR-BLIND does an enormous disservice to the child. You may be color-blind, and I may love my daughter whether she is black, white, green or purple. But the fact is, society is not. And I don't think I should play martyr with my child as the lead in the freaking parade to solve an age-old issue. I tackle race related issues in my own life and that of my children; but I would never in a million years expect my child to be my medal to show I'm not a racist. Who are you to judge? Don't we all have a God who judges us?? I cannot believe you think it is alright to call somebody racist who you do not even know. That is cruel and unjust.

[Fran27]

Wow Yash, so you think it's ok to willingly bring up a child in an hostile environment? That is really sad.

What I meant about 'easier' to adopt an AA child is just that it's faster and cheaper. So, attractive to people who want a baby and don't want to wait too long. I agree that it's definitely not easier in the long run.

About the international/domestic adoption, I think lots of people go international because they're not sure they can deal with the randomness and risks of domestic adoptions... I don't think it's a matter of race.

[myccg2004]

Yash- I don't know you but you sound extremely bitter. You are basically telling people how they should feel. And that is to feel just like you. Well the world doesn't work that way. For you to say that it's a "form" of racism to want to adopt someone the same race as you is completely ridiculous. People have their own, personal ideas and visions of what they want in a family. Who are you to say that if you adopt domestically, you should be open to all races?? If that's your opinion, fine. But that does NOT make everyone else a racist. And the whole Christian thing---- You are unbelievable. I can't even believe what I was reading.

[sbaglio]

Originally Posted by myccg2004

Yash- I don't know you but you sound extremely bitter. You are basically telling people how they should feel. And that is to feel just like you. Well the world doesn't work that way. For you to say that it's a "form" of racism to want to adopt someone the same race as you is completely ridiculous. People have their own, personal ideas and visions of what they want in a family. Who are you to say that if you adopt domestically, you should be open to all races?? If that's your opinion, fine. But that does NOT make everyone else a racist. And the whole Christian thing---- You are unbelievable. I can't even believe what I was reading.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[Yash]

I am not bitter. I'm a very happy person, who posted my opinion on how I disagreed with Fran and others who think it's okay to only adopt a child of the same race. You don't have to agree with me, but it doesn't make the fact any less true.

Originally Posted by myccg2004

Yash- I don't know you but you sound extremely bitter. You are basically telling people how they should feel. And that is to feel just like you. Well the world doesn't work that way. For you to say that it's a "form" of racism to want to adopt someone the same race as you is completely ridiculous. People have their own, personal ideas and visions of what they want in a family. Who are you to say that if you adopt domestically, you should be open to all races?? If that's your opinion, fine. But that does NOT make everyone else a racist. And the whole Christian thing---- You are unbelievable. I can't even believe what I was reading.