[o2b30again]

Well tomorrow is finally the day. We will be going to meet the kids tomorrow at their foster home (their aunt's) We will be setting up our transition plan and being introduced to the children. They won't be told during this visit that we will be adopting them. How did you hide you excitement when you met your kids? Our new children are 4,3 and 2. Hopefully the visit goes smooth. The visit isn't until 7pm (my thoughts are this is to close to bedtime but different house different rules maybe they sleep until 9am) but we couldn't get anything else scheduled. Anyways tell me about your first visits. How did they go? How did the children re-act?

[inhiswill]

Congratulations!! I will be thinking about you tomorrow at 7:00. I have several kiddos that age right now. My advice to you is just get down to their level and play. Are you allowed to bring a little gift to them?

Our DD was 3 months when we met her. The first time I saw her, I just giggled. It was a pure joy that I never had experienced that started deep inside my heart. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. Since she was so young, she really did not react. Her transition was very smooth though.

Oh, and Welcome to life with a large family!! It is a blast!

[ocracoke]

You must be so excited!

My daughter was 21 months when I met her. It was an international adoption so there was a language issue too. My daughter had been separated from her bparents for 3 months on our first meeting and she was doing some serious greiving. She was not happy at all. Our first meeting was for an hour. She let me hold her -- but mostly because she was not able to get down. She cried a little but it was more of a whining to let me this was not her idea of fun. And when she really gave up she became more like a cage animals. She was scared and sad and wanted down. She was not sure of me at all and wasn't about to fake it. The next day I had her for the whole day and opted to "wear" her. I changed her diaper, I fed her, I held her when she cried. She had to rely completely on me. On day three she became a kid again.. She smiled for the first time, she played games. I let her walk around but I was still the only one who changed her and gave her meds, and fed her. I was the only one who comforted her when she cried. On day 4 she let me know that I was now officially mom and I best start acting that way.

Anything can happen. It is emotional. It is amazing. It is scary. Good luck.

Samantha

[Happy123]

We said yes on a Wed and had him on Friday. It was an emergency placement w/ intent to adopt. He was 4 1/2 at the time. I remember that it took almost an hour to get him in the car. I really tried to go at his pace (a snail). He was brought to the office by his grandparents (they gave notice)...told by them that they had to go to work. How stupid can someone be that they think a child is not going to realize what is happening. So, of course he was totally stressed out. We were his 3rd placement in eleven months. Looking back it seems just like yesterday (he will be nine soon)...we now have his 2 siblings.
Happy123

[munketoes]

Our son is five and he didn't speak to us for the first 10 mins. Now he won't hush.

Don't rush it. get down on their level and play. They will come to you.

[Tigger2]

Congrats! I wish you a wonderful visit.

[JeannineW]

Our daughter was 29 mo old. I remember seeing her across the hotel lobby. She was completely, legally our daughter but I had never seen her before. It felt so weird. I bent down and said, "Hi." and then gave her a hug. She was stiff as a board. She was very quiet and compliant. Not at all like the energetic, fiesty child she is today. She never cried for 5 days. I could tell she wanted to but she fought back the tears. In hindsight, she was obviously in shock. After being home for a few days, she started crying/screaming. She continues that to this day but now only for a reason and only a few times a month. Back then it was many times a day for no apparent reason. I don't miss that!

I can't wait to hear how it goes. We hope to adopt a sibling group of similar ages.

[Cjmeck]

Oh how exciting! I haven't btdt to offer any real advice, just wanted to share in your joy How amazing, terrifying, and thrilling this must all be for you both. Best wishes!

[hockeywoman]

When we met our kiddos the first time, we were introduced as friends. But they had seen our pictures, etc. and the oldest 2 kind of knew who we were. The third visit, they came to our house. While we were driving home, they said "You're our new mommy and daddy". The coolest feeling in the world.

As previously said, get on their level and start playing. The easiest way to introduce yourself to them.

[o2b30again]

The children were beautiful. We were at the house to just observe them playing and get a transition plan in place. They instantly took to my husband...who is a big child at heart. We didn't really spent any one on one time, well my husband did. The oldest invited him upstairs to help get everyone ready to go to bed. The next visit we had the children had already been told that we wanted to be their new mom and dad. They were affectionate but not clingy. Didn't mind us touching them or redirecting their behavior *which was very age appropriate* I think it was love at first sight! Somewhere in my head though I am waiting for the other shoe to drop...too many stories about the honeymoon phase. We get to bring them home on the 12th

[joskids]

One of our children was 20 mos. old when we met her, the others infants. As for the 20 mo. old, we took it easy, tried not to get too excited in front of her, tried to remain calm. We made her more comfortable by showing our new friendship to her foster family, which made her more relaxed. We took her cues as to what she was ready for. Because she was withdrawn and shy, my husband gave her the doll we brought for her and held it out to her and let her come to us. There were lots more visits before she was moved to our home. At that age, it's so hard to understand. Your new children are also young. Have you read "Toddler Adoption, The Weaver's Craft?" Very good book. Try not to worry too much and just relax and enjoy the meeting. Easier said than done, huh? Best wishes! What an exciting time for you! Our daughter is 9 now, by the way, and so outgoing and friendly. She's come a long way from that shy, withdrawn, uneasy toddler and blossomed into a tall and beautiful young girl. Watching her grow has been a real joy.

Josie