[oceanica]

I'm looking at an entity (not sure if it's an agency actually) that seems great and they did have a lot of adoptions last year. They seem really good and say we have a great chance of being matched quickly because we are open to any race, oa, etc and only want to avoid alcohol, cocaine, heroin, and meth use basically. They have a low failed match rate they claim at 10% or less, and other things make them seem really good. (They claim that the 10% number is due to their extensive counseling services for the emoms.) The only problem is that they want $11,800 up front and $9000 something after a match, and then the remainder of the costs will be determined later depending on the specific circumstances and of course emom expenses are to be determined. That seems like a lot of cash to be laying out just like that! DH is hesitant and concerned and so am I... what do you guys think, is it reasonable and something we should consider? Our agency took something like 1100 as up front costs.

[BrandyHagz]

What is their policy on refunds, if things don't work?

Carry over of match money?

Are they licensed, do you have any legal recourse if things go south?

I will be honest, the "they did have a lot of adoptions last year" and "They claim that the 10% number is due to their extensive counseling services for the emoms." doesn't make sense.

More counseling doesn't make a woman place and lead to fewer fails...unless it's not counseling at all. Also, the fee’s are crazy. If you are open to race, gender and some correctable special needs, I don’t see why your fees would even be over the ‘up front’ money listed in your post – and that’s total, post-finalization.

[minibus]

I think that if you are open to race, you should be able to adopt for lower fees than that. Just my experience.

[sbaglio]

I agree with the others - with your being so open on many factors, there's no reason why you should be paying so much money for your adoption, especially not upfront.

I would also find out more about this "agency" - have you spoken with couples who've adopted through them? Have you checked various sources (BBB, your state authorities charged with regulating adoption agencies, etc)? Are the fees you pay "rolled over", as it were, if a match falls through?

[Adopted-B-4]

I don't know about other agencies but our agency did not do that. And the amount was a set amount, no extra fees for both of our adoptions. We did some research and for us, a set amount was a lot better than an amount up front and then all the birthmother expenses on top of more money. And with our agency, at some point, if we found a birthmother on our own, then the price was super low but they would help us with all the legal stuff. Good luck!

[Oceans]

I'm not sure about the $$ part of it but I would want to know what type of counseling the emoms were getting. Our agency (on the emom side) had a similar stat but they also educated emoms about how they could parent and strongly suggested making a parenting plan along side an adoption plan. This was extremely helpful (and time consuming to be honest) but by the time the emom was looking at profiles she had recieved counseling and knew the "facts" of her specific situation.

Counseling is a buzz word but IMO emoms need to be educated in addition to examining their emotions... Hopefully that makes sense. 10% could be a good stat - I would just ask.

[Cjmeck]

That is a lot of upfront money... I used a large, national agency's AA/biracial program. We paid only $195 upfront. And you can set your budget; and they'll only present you with situations within that budget (well, ours went over by 2K). PM me if you want the agency info.

[ChromaKelly]

I also was very close to signing with a facilitator with very similar monetary amounts, maybe it's the same one. Even if they are ethical and all is kosher, it ties you to one place. What if you give all that money upfront, and then you end up seeing a posting somewhere about a situation that sounds perfect? Do you submit for it, and consider the money already paid to be lost? Or let it go by, because you are stuck with agency/facilitator? We are also open to race, and we're signing up with a few different entities that don't require much or any upfront money.

[Linny]

IMO, paying this type of $$ upfront is close to highway robbery. I don't care if they seem good and well, this is a LOT of money to be laying on the table for an adoption up front. If you're willing to pay this kind of money once you have a match or already born baby and expenses are required, that's something else; but up front? No way!

Try to find an agency that will fully refund (at least most of) your money should a situation fall through, you find another situation with someone else, etc. There are places that DON'T charge this kind of $$ until the baby is released for adoption.
IMO, these are the types of agencies that prey on the emotions of adoptive parents...telling them they have such a low 'change of mind' rate, that they give excellent counseling, etc. I believe the stat they quoted is pretty much the stat across the board, so that doesn't say too much. And, checking with the BBB doesn't necessarily tell you much, so don't rely on this info as a standard.

As I've written before (and someone already stated this)....what happens should you find another situation that's perfect for you? Chances are, this entity won't refund even most of your money, and you'll lose it, or....will go scrambling to get a loan in order to apply for a 'sure-er thing', KWIM?

Please be careful before signing with this group. There are others here who'll tell you they lost TONS of $$ dealing with groups such as this. They just haven't seen your thread yet........

Sincerely,

Linny

[Fran27]

We paid some money up front, but nowhere as much as this... we would not have done it, unless we personally knew people who had a good experience with them (and it's actually the case of a facilitator that charges about the same upfront).

It's overall not too bad a price IMO, but if you want to adopt an AA child, you can find much cheaper (I know, it's sad, but at least it's easier to adopt AA children).

I agree with what has been said about counseling... 10% can be good or bad.

[Gwen72]

We couldn't afford $11,800.00 up front. Unless it's refundable in the event of a fall through, I would find a different entity. Good luck with whatever you decide for your family though.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by oceanica

I'm looking at an entity (not sure if it's an agency actually) that seems great and they did have a lot of adoptions last year. They seem really good and say we have a great chance of being matched quickly because we are open to any race, oa, etc and only want to avoid alcohol, cocaine, heroin, and meth use basically. They have a low failed match rate they claim at 10% or less, and other things make them seem really good. (They claim that the 10% number is due to their extensive counseling services for the emoms.) The only problem is that they want $11,800 up front and $9000 something after a match, and then the remainder of the costs will be determined later depending on the specific circumstances and of course emom expenses are to be determined. That seems like a lot of cash to be laying out just like that! DH is hesitant and concerned and so am I... what do you guys think, is it reasonable and something we should consider? Our agency took something like 1100 as up front costs.

I wouldn't do it. Nor could we have afforded to. It sounds like they would "have you" no matter what. That is alot of money up front. That is several hundred over what we paid for services with our agency, in total.

[BrandyHagz]

I guess I'd want to know what their "Contact To Match" ratio is.

If they are saying "Only 10% of the girls who contact us end up parenting" then I'd say it's time to run.

If they are saying "Only 10% of the girls who have talked to us about their options then moved on to the matching phase then decided to parent" then I'd say...well ok.

See how subjective the number is?

The number is impressive - if it means that they are truly making sure that the woman placing is truly interested in adoption before the match phase is started. I will say, though, that it rarely means that.

Thats just my personal opinion though...based on the number of women I see matching in their very late 1st trimester or early 2nd trimester - there are a great many agencies out there who don't put forth the effort to make sure that the woman has explored her options and has decided that she wants to move forward towards adoption. This is bad for ALL involved...

[oceanica]

Thanks everybody.
I know I could get a lot better deal in terms of cost bec I am adopting an aa baby. The total cost at my agency will only be around $1200 and that's great if it would work out. But where they got me is the time factor. This is a huge nationwide entity and they say they have a lot of emoms they are dealing with. They say their average match time is 4 months, and the woman who talked to told me it would probably only take days to get one in my circumstance. That really got my attention! I've been sitting here waiting for almost a year and nothing is happening. My agency told me it would "probably" take between 1 and 6 months and yet they have the same 31 couples on their website forever it seems. When she said I could be matched in days I almost had a heart attack. I guess what I mean is I wouldn't mind paying all that if it would lead to getting a baby more quickly. I'd rather have a light wallet and a baby than to be sitting around for another 2 years and saving money. I'm almost 40 years old ya know! Getting up there. DH thinks I'm getting carried away.

[BrandyHagz]

I'd love to know who this agency is...I really would. If you wouldn't mind...could you PM it to me?