[mg1970]

I know that birthmother, birthmom, and first mom are terms we use to decribe our child's biological mother -- which works great for when describing a relationship "Hi, this is X's first mom!" or "This is my first mom!"

But how does your child address her? While obviously I get the title Mom as in "Mommy get me some milk." or "Mommy Wake Up!" but what does the child call the birthmother. "Hi Firstmom, how are you" just doesn't sound right.

Is it typical to use a first name, special nickname, some other name with the word Mom in it somewhere? Just wondering how you have handled this and how it was negotiated.

I know there are many words for grandma/grandpa (as in mams, pops, nana, pop pop, grams, etc.). Are there other words for Mom or Dad? What about words from other languages. A coworker was telling me that in her country of origin they have different names to describe specific relationship and birth order. So in the same family the kids would all have a different name to refer to Mom.

Anyway ... please share.

M

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by mg1970

I know that birthmother, birthmom, and first mom are terms we use to decribe our child's biological mother -- which works great for when describing a relationship "Hi, this is X's first mom!" or "This is my first mom!"

But how does your child address her? While obviously I get the title Mom as in "Mommy get me some milk." or "Mommy Wake Up!" but what does the child call the birthmother. "Hi Firstmom, how are you" just doesn't sound right.

Is it typical to use a first name, special nickname, some other name with the word Mom in it somewhere? Just wondering how you have handled this and how it was negotiated.

I know there are many words for grandma/grandpa (as in mams, pops, nana, pop pop, grams, etc.). Are there other words for Mom or Dad? What about words from other languages. A coworker was telling me that in her country of origin they have different names to describe specific relationship and birth order. So in the same family the kids would all have a different name to refer to Mom.

Anyway ... please share.

M

My children, well DD who is 4 (DS is 2, not making the associations yet) calls her Other Mom by her first name at ~K~'s request. We don't have alot of mutual contact right now but DD has said to me, "I miss my other Mom."

Kiddos' other Moms and I talked about options and this is what they wanted. I would have loved for it to be something like ~K~Mom. As for DS, his Other Mom has signed letters Momma~V~ or just ~V~. Either one works. We have dear friends who have found some really neat nicknames, including forms of Mom in other languages that mean something to them. One calls her Other Mom MereBear. So endearing.

[Eponine]

Well, DS is only 6 months old so he doesn't call anyone anything yet! But when we talk to him about his birth mom and dad, we use "Mama S" and "Papa R". We decided on those because we wanted him to have "parent" words for his birthparents and Mama & Papa were ones that we & others tend not to use in reference to ourselves. Did that make sense? We're usually Mom, Mommy, Dad, Daddy so we've made a point to set aside Mama & Papa for his birthparents.

[lovemy2boys]

My kids address their firstmoms by their first names...

They know them as their other mom, firstmom, birthmom, what have you, but when talking to them, their names are used...

As my boys get older, if they decide to call them mom, that will be their choice.

[BrandyHagz]

My daughter is twelve and with the support of her mother, has decided to call me mom.

Until then, she called me Brandy.

[ourdreamcametru]

Castle just turned 4 so she really doesn't call her anything yet but we refer to her by her first name as we do the other members of her bfamily.

[shy_bear]

My oldest who is 10 calls her by her first name

[Leigh131313]

My son calls his birthmom by her first name

[Stormster]

Don't know yet. Always planned on first names but now it doesn't feel quite right (to me).

[mondk]

HI....we are probably major exceptions to the norm...but we call ours "Mommy Claire". See, my bio son's stepdad (my current hubby) name is Dale so he calls him "Daddy Dale" that is how we thought of the whole "Mommy Claire" thing. That is what we call her and she is fine with it and we are fine with it!

Blessings, Michelle

[Jo Ellen]

You might consider your child calling their first mom mommy or mom _________ with her name. Just realize the first mom may or may not be ready for this as there can be a lot of confusion for them realizing they can also be mom to the child. I am speaking from what I observed with my first mom in the beginning of reunion and now. BTW I began calling my first parents by their names but when they were ready it was Mom and Dad and always will be.

[aclee]

Right now we refer to M by her first name when we tell Ty about her, the same with R. I followed M's lead on this, but we haven't discussed it in detail. I will say that I call two women Mom, my step mom who raised me with my Dad, and my mother, who I only saw occasionally growing up but have a great relationship with. I would support Tyler if he did choose to call her Mom, but I won't lie...right now, it feels like it would sting a little. I'm hoping that as time goes on, and we all settle into this very new relationship, that is something I will be happy about should he choose it.

[mommamarci]

We have never discussed it, but I go back and forth between just "E" and "Mama E." (We also have a T now, but have even less contact with her- none at all...)

[jpchief2]

Our son is 3 and calls his birthmom by her first name. He definately knows who she is and calls her parents grandma and grandpa, just the same as what he calls our parents. It works great!

[SamIAm2]

Natalie is 2.7 yrs old and she calls her BMom by her first name....but lately I've noticed she mostly calls her E's Mama (E is Nat's bio-brother) But she does that with her friends too...for example, she calls her friend Emma, "Emma", and her Mom is "Emma's Mama"....LOL!