[Dukefamilyest2001]

ok, I know you have heard them...probably a thousand times ...those questions that EVERYONE seems to ask you...so here are just some of my answers I give to people (Scenario: we are adopting a newborn--DUE THIS WEEK!!)

1) When will you tell him he is adopted?
I will tell him on the first day I have him in my arms...but like most men...he will forget that I have said anything and swear I never told him (Smile)

How about those people that speak to you as if your adopted child is understanding what you are saying and they speak in a whisper tone "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

Yes, I reply (returning the whisper tone) and you dont have to whisper --Im not 16 trying to smuggle him into my house---you can speak louder and shout it to the world.

Did she have "THE BABY"? Followed by some who ask "No Baby yet?"
Im not sure why people have to title my son like he is a grand finale or movie premiere. Not to mention that if "THE BABY" was here wouldnt you see him?

Thanks for listening to my rant...I would love to hear some of your "same ole" Q & A's

[Gwen72]

Question: Why would you want to do that instead of having "one of your own"?
Answer: Adopted children ARE your own!

Question: Why can't you "have your own"?
Answer: Tell me about your uterus and your Dh's sperm first.

Question: Are you going to tell them they are adopted?
Answer: They would wonder why they are black and we are not if I didn't.

Question: Do you have the baby yet? (asked at work)
Answer: Do you think I would be here if I had a baby at home?

[mom2justynsarah]

Here are the common questions I used to get when my daughter was an infant. She was brought into our lives through the miracled of open domestic infant adoption. She is now 3 1/2 years old.

How much did she cost?

Both my children are priceless!!!

Where/when did you get her?

From the planet earth when she was born

Do you know or have you met her real mom?

Pinch me, do I feel real enough to you. I AM her real mom. Now if your referring to her biological mom, then yes, I have met and still maintain contact with her.

You are doing such a good thing by adopting your baby. She is so lucky to have you!

This was how our family was meant to be. We are all lucky/grateful to have one another

Now that she's older, I mainly get

Where did she get her blue eyes and blonde hair from?

Her father (I mean her REAL father). Actually, she does get it from her biological father.

Do you still speak with or have contact with her real
mom?

I am REAL, and yes I do speak to myself quite often. However, if your asking about her biological mother, then yes we still speak.

Quite frankly, these questions used to bug the heck out of me (and I am saying this nicely) But I have since gotten used to gently, yet firmly correcting them.

[hoping4u]

I actually had a lady at my church the other week ask me how well DS (2 months) is sleeping overnight. I replied that he usually sleeps through the night and very seldom wakes before 7am. She proceeded to say "Oh thats really good especially since he is in a strange environment"

A strange environment??? WHAT???
I said that the only other "environment" he's been in is at the hospital, then just turned and walked away.
I guess she thought since he didn't grow in my womb my home would be a strange place.

[ourdreamcametru]

My favorite so far is "why didn't you get a baby that looked just like you since you were picking?" (Castle is 1/2 filipino) Well, we have two bio children and neither of them look like me, these are the children God gave me and who they look like has never crossed my mind, they are all beautiful to us!

[michellef1]

Now that it is ball season we are at the local ball park for our older DS's games. People is our small town have lots of looks and comments, I am choosing to consider them "curiosity"

"How old is he?" 8 months

"How long have you had him?" 8 months (We brought him home from the hospital)

"Where did he come from?"
(I assume that and the how long have you had him questions mean they think it was an international adoption? I try to avoid the "where did he come from" as it was a fairly local situation)

"His hair sure is curly" Sometimes this is a statement, but often it is really a question. I rarely take the bait.

"Is his hair naturally curly?" No, I get up extra every morning to curl it.

"What are you going to do about his hair?" I haven't cut his beautiful hair yet and have no intention of doing so any time in the near future. I think his hair is beautiful and I say so.

"He sure is tan"

"Is he black?" I chose not to give the lesson on biracial and just said yes.
This was followed by "Is he adopted?" Well, DH and I are both CC, blondes.

One lady wanted to hold him because she "really hopes she will get mixed grandchildren" because her older DS often dates AA girls.

Maybe we should get together and write a book. The "What not to say to adoptive parents" book. Honestky I generally think it is fairly amusing.

[mom2justynsarah]

One of my girlfriends (she has blue eyes, blonde hair and fair skin) is married to a Filipino who is the complete opposite (very handsome I might add!)

Anyway, they have three of the most GORGEOUS children I have ever seen (aside from mine of course :P). NONE of her kids look like her at all. She typically gets some stares, and there have been times when she was asked if she is their nanny. Um, NO, she is their BIOLOGICAL mommy!

Originally Posted by ourdreamcametru

My favorite so far is "why didn't you get a baby that looked just like you since you were picking?" (Castle is 1/2 filipino) Well, we have two bio children and neither of them look like me, these are the children God gave me and who they look like has never crossed my mind, they are all beautiful to us!

[Eponine]

Ha - michellef - I get the "he's so tan" comment on my AA/CC biracial boy too. It makes me laugh because I think of "tan" as coming from being out in the sun but I think people don't know how to phrase it and they're trying to somewhat politely ask his racial background. The only person who has asked me if he is out in the sun a lot was a 5-year old though....

My favorite on that end was the wife of a friend said "Wow, he's tan" and my DH says "Well duh, he's half black!" in a really funny tone - mostly he was surprised her husband hadn't told her anything about it than that she said it but the whole exchange was funny....

[nikkianni]

The how much did she cost thing offends me most. It's illegal to buy babies in this country last time I checked.
For the most part the rest just makes me laugh. Sometimes because it's funny, other times because I pity these people.
We get the she's so lucky thing a lot. We always make it very clear that there were at least hundreds of couples that could have been chosen. WE were the lucky ones.
Oh, we also get the how did you get a "white one." I kid you not, it's happened more than once. These people we mostly ignore, but DH did tell one really rude guy that we tipped a nurse.

[mumofone]

This was asked of us by my older son's Godfather. Needless to say, it really upset me. Thank God, our son was in bed at the time. He was our only child then.

Q: So, why don't you try invtro so you can give the grandparents a biological grandchild?

A: They have a grandchild, and you are so lucky that he is in bed right now so he didn't hear your ridiculous comment.

There are so many more, but I have to say, that stung the most.

[jalapeno]

Originally Posted by michellef1

"Is his hair naturally curly?" No, I get up extra every morning to curl it.

HA! I was laughing out loud at this!

[startedover]

My most frequent question now when people realize we are in a semi open adoption is
"OMG aren't you afraid some time years down the road they will try and get her back"

Ok what bugs me about this question is it usually comes right after I have explained that the birthparents have no more legal rights , that time has past. so I just want to say "maybe you shouldn't watch lifetime if You can differentiate fact from fiction"