[lovemy2boys]

I almost think people say it because they feel like they need to say SOMETHING...Like they're not sure what to say and this is the same cliche they hear over and over, so they use it...

It happened to me EVERY time we told someone (other than family).

Us: "We've decided to adopt a baby"

Everyone else: Ooh wow - just wait and see - the minute you "get" a baby, you'll find out you're pregnant. It happens all the time!!!

Us: Uh huh...How about Congratulations?

[adopting_again]

Originally Posted by portlowski

Ths issue was that even when I had 27 eggs taken for my ivf NOT ONE of them survived to become an embryo.

I hear that. I had the same thing...32 eggs taken and none survived past blastocyte stage...grrr.

I think people want to be optimistic and without really understanding infertility, or at least our specific cases they open their mouths. Everyone knows or knows of someone who did and TV/movies do nothing to change this view.

As for Friends, I thought it was bad timing that Courteney Cox was actually pregnant during the last few episodes and they still did the adoption thing (and didn't hide it very well). And as far as timing for how long getting/taking home the baby takes, it had to fit within their schedule of episodes, so that's forgivable. I don't think anyone is really under the misconception that you get your baby that quickly (although in some cases we do). And the whole bmom in that situation was so weird, who knows. There are also plenty of movies where emom moves in with paps, so who knows maybe it happens sometimes. On the good side, at least it wasn't only Monica who had infertility, it was Chandler's issues too. Perhaps they were trying to stay out of the line of fire on boards like this.


Love my 2 boys is right...why not just congrats or we'll be praying for you, or whatever. No need to make us feel like our choice to adopt is 1) another attempt to actually be pregnant, 2) the lesser way of having children. IMHO, it doesn't matter how they get in my family, I just want the end result, plus, my pregnancy wasn't all that! And for those who decide to adopt without even trying to get preg. (for their various reasons), what a kick in the gut to hear that, after all, you really want to be pregnant-you're just kidding yourself that you don't! UGGG.