[binkybear]

I'm going to try to express what I'm thinking now. I'm new to this and hope I can put down my thoughts well enough.

When reading the OP my first thought was "what's the alternative"?? Meaning adoption is what it is now, today. It's something that is needed and utilized in our world for many many reasons on all sides and at all levels. What happened to so many women, girls, and children in the CA era was horrid, there's no excusing any of it. There wasn't an outlet, there weren't as many options or resources and there wasn't the world wide communication that has created our current world of an answer at your fingertips. But I have to believe that an emom today loving her baby enough to make this particular plan, if that is her choice, and then an AP loving their child enough to do all of these wonderful things listed previously...well if this all isn't "enough" then what's the alternative when adoption is the choice made?
For myself I have to believe that this is a somewhat like my own life. The history of this country is a sordid one at times. I'm 2nd generation American so while I can learn from the past with the utmost compassion I can not myself take on heaps of personal responsibility for what others before me lived with their life's journey. I can not expect or accept that those occurances will dictate my future's outcome, as if I have no role in my "now". Me today, I have to evaluate my own journey and make sure it's as educated, full of love, kindness, respect, humanity, and responsible as it can be. Adoption will, for me, fit into that. If that's not "enough" then what's the alternative when adoption is the choice made?

[JustPeachy]

Sometimes it’s hard as an a-mom to hear about the shady dealings that occurred in past adoptions. I think anyone would feel horrible about this, but I also hate being made to feel guilty about the way adoption was and is practiced by some people. This casts a cloud on all adoptions. Each situation is different and many people proceed through adoption ethically and go on to have perfectly happy family lives.

It's also hard as a bmom who did not experience adoption from the closed era, did not endure being coerced or having the decision made for me by someone else, and who had come to the conclusion that adoption was the best choice for all involved under the circumstances. Although I think it is important to understand the history and the terrible things that happened in the past (and some things that continue to the present day), you simply cannot paint all adoption experiences with the same brush.

As far as the OP's concerns go, I agree that there are no guarantees of anything in life, whether with an adopted child or a biological child. You can only do your best, and hope for the best.