[turtlet]

This is a follow up to my "Same Birthmother" thread below. So our son's birthmother wants us to adopt the baby she is pregnant with. On the suggestion of some posts, I asked them if the fee would be lower because it is an "identified adoption". To my surprise, they actually DOUBLED the price because the baby is full hispanic vs. bi-racial (which our son is). Can you believe that?! I understand if we were starting fresh, but this is a situation where the b-mom already has chosen us. That just shocked me!! Is is just me, or is that insane? There is no way we can afford this new fee.

[HappyHopefulMommy]

I am assuming it is the agency who has the doubled fee?? I have always thought it is SO odd to have different fees for different races. Since it is an indentified adoption, can you use an adoption lawyer instead. The fess should be much lower since you have a birthmom who wants to place with you. Just a thought!

[Fran27]

Ouch... it's totally stupid. Is there any way you can work it out with an attorney and not an agency, or another agency?

[turtlet]

Thanks Noelle - yes it is the (out of state) agency that is doubling the price. I'm nervous about going through an attorney because the b-dad is not really part of the picture (so I want to make sure all loose ends are tied up and nervous that an attorney will miss something - I'm an attorney so you would think I would have more confidence in attorneys, but I don't!). Plus our homestudy agency (homestudy agency and us in one state, and adoption agency and b-mom in another) says he doesn't really recommend it and that our state doesn't really like it.

[aclee]

They can't be the only agency in that state. The emom contacted you directly, can you contact her back and explain. I think if you tell her that with higher fees it would be too much, she would understand and look around. I think MOST emom's would get that.

I would really consider looking for references on Attny's. There are some GREAT attny's out there that are WAY less likely to miss something than an agency would be. I know a great attny in St. Louis Missouri, but that's it Post looking for people with good experiences with attny's in the area you are adopting out of. Good Luck!

[Gwen72]

If you get an attorney that is certified by the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys then he/she will be able to make sure there are no loose ends. Since you are already homestudy certified and you have an identified situation you should be able to go to any agency in the emoms state and just have to pay thier placement fee. They can't charge you for the homestudy or networking or any of that stuff. Your state may not "like" out of state adoptions but I don't think they can stop you. I also strongly disagree with charging different fees for different races and "full blooded" versus biracial. That's JMHO. Good Luck with whatever you decide!

[HappyHopefulMommy]

I'm sorry "they" are making this so difficult for you. I hope all goes well and you can find a way to make this adoption more affordable. Good luck!

[mdesi]

Contact a Quad A lawyer! Save yourself the money. If there is a SW that you think has a good rapport with expectant mothers, maybe you could ask them to do a "side job" of counseling the mother. If not, a Quad A lawyer will know of some outstanding counselors/SW. It's ridiculous to pay double and get 1/4 the service!

[Gs_Mom]

The agency is likely to leave the termination of the birth father rights to an attorney anyway. That is how it worked in both of our adoptions.

[Kellster]

An attorney who specializes in adoption law will be more knowledgeable than an agency. If an agency has a question or problem, they consult an attorney. I would be much more concerned about an agency not dotting an i or crossing a t than about an attorney...

Kelly

[lmitch]

You might try another agency. You will need to ask your current agent to release your homestudy to them. If the agency is worth their grit they should hand it over. But I suspect they hold it for ransom if they are con artists. Which it kinda sounds like with their current M/O. Also ask some else in the agency if they can give you a better deal g/l Laura

[Amber76]

Before taking the advice to just go with an attorney, you need to consider what state the expectant mom is in. In some states you pretty much have to use an agency. Just throwing that out there so you can make an informed decision.

[mommy2fiveplus]

I don't want to make anyone angry but I probably will with the following comment:

WHY is a full hispanic baby worth more than a biracial one? WHY is ANY baby more valuable than another based on the color of his/her skin or any other factor for that matter? This just seems like babybrokering to me.

Sorry I don't have any really helpful advise for you, Good Luck.

[mg1970]

I would talk to a lawyer ASAP. Even if all you do is explore your options. You can come back to the agency and give them the option of lowering their fee or taking your business elsewhere. They did not do the match, they should not expect matching fees. There is nothing unethical about going elsewhere since you and the emom went to the agency asking for their help. I hope you haven't signed any agreements.

The fact that you paid lower fees in the past tells me that their expenses could be lowered. They are are not giving you their rock bottom price. All agencies I know list different prices for identified adoptions.

M

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by mommy2fiveplus

I don't want to make anyone angry but I probably will with the following comment:

WHY is a full hispanic baby worth more than a biracial one? WHY is ANY baby more valuable than another based on the color of his/her skin or any other factor for that matter? This just seems like babybrokering to me.

Sorry I don't have any really helpful advise for you, Good Luck.

I think some agencies lower their fees for biracial/AA children because they have much fewer families for them. Quite sure the other adoptions are more expensive to make up for it though.

Saying a baby is 'less valuable' because his adoption is cheaper creeps me out though. We're not buying babies, so how much their adoption cost has nothing to do with 'value'.

Turtlet, I hope you find a solution!