[johnette93]

We have a daughter who will be two this month. We decided to start trying for another about 6 months ago and recently received the diagnosis of male and female factor infertility. What are the odds? I should play the lottery.

Anyway, we could try all sort of donor options and IVF but since we don't know that any of them will work we are pursuing the domestic adoption route.

My question is whether we even have a chance to get picked and how long we could potentially wait. Anyone with any experience/insight to offer would be great.

Thanks!

[Cjmeck]

Our agency told us we might have a bit of a longer wait since we had a child already(bio). But since we were open to race, I really think it evened things out for us. I definitely think my experience is really more of an exception than the rule; but we waited only 27 days from agency approval to being matched. So, no, having a bio child did not impact our wait time at all. In fact, it may have helped it. Our daughter's bmom wanted our daughter to have an older brother like she did growing up. Best wishes.

[ourdreamcametru]

Our adoption was private, open and we met our daughter's bmom through a mutual friend so I don't have experience with agencies. We have two bio boys and our daughter's bmom was looking for a situation where she would have two older brothers because that's what she always wanted when she was growing up. I don't think haveing a bio child will make your wait any longer, there are bmom's who want all type of situations for their children.

[mom2justynsarah]

My son (bio) was six years old when we were blessed with our daughter. She was brought into our lives through the miracle of domestic infant open adoption. Our facilitator originally told us it could take longer because we already had a child. (not necessarily because he was our biological child). But it really depends on the birthmom (and or birthdad).

Our daughter's birthparents (and full blooded siblings) really liked the fact that our son WANTED to be an older brother. Once they found out they were having a girl, they loved the fact that she would have an instant older protective brother.

Please remember, there are all sorts of variables and situations that bring families together. The more flexible you are in regards to sex, race, and circumstance, the more you open yourself to finding your child that was meant to be.

GOod luck!!
Julie

[sarah16]

We researched a couple of agencies that put us on a waiting list because we had a bio daughter. But we didn't go with one of those agencies. It will be up to the potential birthmother if she wants her baby to have a sibling.

[beav]

We have 4 bio children. Our agency told us they cant give any time frames as it just depends on what their birthmom's are looking for in a family. We were chosen 1 week after our profile was shown. OUr birthmom was excited that her child would have older siblings to watch over her. Dont let having bio children discourage you from pursuing adoption--I think it is up to God what child is placed with you and when the right child comes along you will be chosen.
Best of Luck to you!!!

[dragonfly1234]

Not only were we considered "older parents" but our bio son was 4. We decided on domestic adoption and we were also open to any race. Our agency told us that it would be about a 6 month wait but we brought home our son 3 weeks after our approved homestudy.

Good luck on your adoption journey and keep us posted!

[Mom2Max]

my agency actually told us the opposite....they said that a lot of their emoms liked parents with children already (bio or adopted), because they knew their child would go into a family with siblings. I guess it really just depends on the expectant mother and what her personal preferences are. We had a very short wait, and hopefully it will be the same for you

[Adopted-B-4]

The director at our agency said at our first meeting that adoptive couples with no children tend to have the least wait time. Couples with children already tend to have a longer wait time with bio being longer than adoptive. I tend to disagree though, because I think it depends on the birthmother and what she is looking for, she may want a family who has a little girl already so that her son or daughter has an older sister, maybe that is how she grew up? Anyway, it's always up to the birthmother and what she has in her mind of the perfect family for her child, so don't give up!

[overflowing]

Our experience is somewhat similar to the others above. Our bio son was 3.5yrs. old. We were matched the same day we turned in our intial paperwork and our daughter was born and placed in our arms 3months later. Our third child was home 6 months after our homestudy update. Our youngest's bmom (surprise domestic adoption) was ecstatic that her baby would be our 5th child. She was excited that we were a big family.

Soooo, it's all going to depend on the bfamily but I wouldn't worry...when your baby comes along, all will work out perfectly! Blessings and best wishes!!

[joskimo]

Every situation is different. One prospective birthmother did not select our family because we had a daughter already, but the birthmother who did select us - because we already had a daughter. ONce our homestudy and everything were completed, we were matched in 7 weeks, our daughter born 7 weeks after that.

Good luck to you,

J

[mondk]

My bio son is 11 y.o. and when we met our birthmom, she was excited that her baby would have a sibling at a helping with the baby age. Anyway, it didn't affect our wait time at all.

Blessings, Michelle

[Momtonick]

Hate to be the downer but it is good to know both sides.
I certainly think it has been a factor for us. We were approved in Aug 07 and have only been shown 2 times. We have a sweet bio ds that is 5. I can only speak from our experience and I know this does not hold true for others. We have found that most young mothers that come to our agency are asking for childless couples. They want their child to be the first. If they do agree to a family with a child, most are saying only an adopted child. Totally their right and I only pray for those emoms find the right family for them. In our case, we've found that "older" emoms seem to seek out families so their child can have a sibling. I do wish that our agency counseled us more on this so we were better prepared for the long wait. Much luck to you!!! Julie