[minibus]

A short update. We met the baby for the first time yesterday. She is SO sweet! We're still trying to stay a little guarded, as there are more legal complications with birthmom (not something I am comfortable going into). Now we are waiting for the 72 hours to be up so we can see if everything goes through for TPR. How did you all make it through TPR? Especially those who had a much longer wait? This is such a nerve racking time!

Thanks to everyone for their good wishes and for your continued support and crossed fingers!!

[nikkianni]

A girl! May I just say that daughters are the best! Of course if we adopt a boy the second time I won't say that anymore, lol.
We had about the same amount of time to TPR as you did. Mostly we didn't talk about it and pretended it didn't matter. And I didn't sleep a wink. DH on the other hand snored away without a care in the world.
He'll tell you he knew the whole time everything would work out, but I know he was nervous.
Hang in there!

[kelceesmom]

For me I just kept saying to myself if I get to love this little baby for just one day it is worth it. And we stayed very busy.

[Fran27]

It was hard for us, especially as the 72 hours turned into 2 weeks. I don't really know how we made it... I guess we didn't really have the choice.

[Stormster]

Is the baby with you?

[finallyamom0310]

We too had complications during the 72 hour wait. We were lucky though that we were invited to be in the hospital with the BMom as much as we wanted. I can't tell you how to make it through but I can tell you that, as hard as it is to hear, if it is truly meant to be, then things will go fine.

[Oceans]

If you are going to have an OA and have the opportunity, I would spend as much time as you can getting to know the Mom and her family/friends (whoever comes to visit). You probably wont have this much opportunity to do so again. I know it's hard (impossible?) but take your focus off the baby and concentrate on getting to know her...

I hope it all works out for everyone!

[mommy3]

Our wait was 30 days b/c our dd's birthmom decided she could sign the relinquishment but not the waiver of revocation. We had an agency adoption, so she could have signed (most do with our agency) the waiver of revocation and it'd have been done then. She was having severe PPD and it was just too painful for her to process, which was so sad for everyone. Yes, the wait was hard at times (and I'd cry, holding my darling baby, knowing "the right thing would happen"). Thankfully, her dh was on board and helped her a lot through this time. Soon after, her PPD was much diminished and we began to bond again, our dd's birthmother and I. We are in great communication now. The 30 days were challenging, but that was clearly another stage of my labor. Those days for us were over Christmas and New Year's, ahhhhh. As they say, it's all history now.

We enjoyed our dd each day, in the hopes we WOULD become our dd and just tried to make the vest of our days with her. May your time go well. susan

[Cjmeck]

Hang in there... I know it is sooooo hard. Dh and I literally took one hour at a time; which probably made things harder. My advice is to try to stay busy. The hardest part for us was dealing with our 5yo; trying to prepare him/protect him. Absolutely gut-wretching. I threw up for 3 days straight; we also had a 72 hr tpr wait. Is the baby with the mother right now? Our daughter's birthmom didnt' want to see her at all so we HAD to take care of our daughter during that time; which made it harder in a way. This is your labor! Breath deep, remember to eat and drink, pray, and hold eachother. That's all you can do really. Oh, and tylenol PM helped me sleep a little.

Best wishes!

[HappyTwinsMom]

We didn't have any complications with TPR. Birthmom was required to sign in court in front of a judge, which she did four days after the babies were born. Looking back on it, the funny thing is I didn't realize how nervous I was about it until she and the social worker were later than anticipated in coming back to the hospital (babies were in the NICU) after the hearing. I started pacing and, honestly, felt like I was going to throw up until they walked through the door.

The waiting is tough. Try to enjoy every moment with your little one - even while you're feeling butterflies in your tummy.

Blessings!

[inhiswill]

As most of you know, I am not doing a very good job at waiting for our tpr. 30 days is soooo long!!! So no really good advice for you mini except to hang in there! I will be thinking of you, good luck!!

[belleinblue1978]

If it makes any of you feel better, my son's parents waited six months for me to sign, and yes that was supported by the agency. We were waiting for an SSI decision, so I couldn't.

[Beth.]

We waited 6 weeks for TPR. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I kept telling myself that I had to love this little girl with all of my heart; she deserved that. My rational was if we had to give her back, at least I did everything I could to get her started out happy and healthy.

Good luck

[slugbug0930]

We spent all of our time at the hospital with the bmom & our baby and I didn't even think about it once. She was so up front with us about signing her rights over to us that we didn't really worry about that part......but that said I know that we will probably have those worries in our heads right up until everything is finalized and legal

Oh and not to mention we stayed at the hospital and were basically up all night with the baby.......so we were too tired to worry

[sbaglio]

Originally Posted by Oceans

If you are going to have an OA and have the opportunity, I would spend as much time as you can getting to know the Mom and her family/friends (whoever comes to visit). You probably wont have this much opportunity to do so again. I know it's hard (impossible?) but take your focus off the baby and concentrate on getting to know her...

I hope it all works out for everyone!

I completely agree with you, Oceans. I can't tell you how much important those meetings, dinners, phone conversations, and days spent in hospital after DD was born, were to us. And the birthfamily gets to know you better, which can only be more comforting for them. I keep going over those times in my mind, often when I see DD get some expression or notice a feature on her face that is like her mother's, and they become more treasured as DD grows older. The thankfulness and the love for your own child grows. Focusing on our relationship with DD's birthfamily set the stage for the OA that came afterwards.