[ContactChar]

I find this thread very interesting. I am a single mom to my ds, and he will be an only child. His birth parents are raising their first two children together. The irony of the situation didn't dawn on me until recently-- by being with me, ds is "deprived" of a two parent family and the experience of growing up with siblings. I should feel like he is worse off, but I don't. I make a comfortable living and can offer a lot of material things to ds. So. . . I should feel that he is better off, but I don't. I agree with others who have said it's just different. I love him with all my heart, and try to do everything I can to make sure that he is healthy and happy and emotionally secure. I have a hard time believing that would be any different for him in his first family.

The other thing that makes this thing so interesting for me is watching Snugglebunny (failed adoption) with her family. With the passage of time, it has become easier (though still not easy!) for me to see her as her mom's child, and not mine. Seeing her interact with her siblings, aunts, grandma, etc. make me certain that she is not "worse off" being back with her mom.

So, at least in my two cases, there is no worse or better. It just is what it is.

Char

[thanksgivingmom]

Interesting perspective Char...

Cupcake's Mom is a single Mother and plans on not adopting any more children. She has often mentioned that she hopes that I marry and have more children so that Cupcake can have the experience of siblings in some way. She recognizes that ours is a situation of "different" and not "better." I think this understanding really strengthens our relationship and mutual respect for each other.